And what of Jordan herself? He’d changed their intense and forbidden affair into another step on the ladder of his ambition. Technically, now that he had what he wanted, she was surplus to requirements. Pounding along the long stretch of beach, sweat dripping into his eyes, he asked himself the question: if he hadn’t gone away and if she hadn’t fallen pregnant and if she hadn’t taken up with her former lover, would they have continued their affair, even after he’d been made managing director?
Yes. They would have. Other than their fathers’ prejudices, he and Jordan were great together. The time, effort and resources she put into trying to make a difference suggested she would work hard to support his career and make their marriage and family succeed. He could help her grow in confidence and develop her foundation. Even now, as his lungs screamed, the incredible sexual pull that they shared had him wanting her more than his next breath. She was fun, kind and sexy. He felt comfortable with her and yet fiercely passionate about her.
And insanely jealous…. The storm clouds gathered in his mind as he turned for home, his steps accelerating. Nick would fight to the death to keep her. No one, neither Jason Cook nor her sanctimonious father, would keep him away from the woman he loved.
Nick rang the doorbell at the Lake mansion, filled with grim determination. Walking into the lion’s den on the day after the verdict was not the most sensible thing he’d ever done, but he’d had no luck tracking Jordan at her apartment.
The Lake’s housekeeper opened the door just as Elanor wheeled herself into the impressive entrance. “Thank you, Helen,” she said, then dismissed the housekeeper, keeping her eyes on Nick. It may have been the early hour, but she looked strained, as if she hadn’t slept.
Nick girded himself for battle. “Is she here?”
“She’s upstairs. Nick…”
He hesitated, awash with relief. If she were here, her mother must know about the pregnancy. “What about Syrius? I’ll need to talk to him.”
“He left early to catch up now that the case is over.”
Nick gave a brief nod and turned his eyes on the stairs. “Which room?”
“Second on the right. Nick…”
He paused, his jaw set with impatience.
Elanor sighed heavily, her face lined with sadness. “She’s—fragile right now. Go easy on her.”
Thirteen
Nick’s eyes narrowed with concern. What was that supposed to mean? Morning sickness or something more sinister? He remembered her words in the car—Jordan falls in and out of love very other week. What if Elanor was trying to tell him that her daughter was in love with someone else or, worse, pregnant to someone else?
Elanor fidgeted under his gaze.
Nick needed to get those answers from Jordan herself, no one else. He knew her. She wouldn’t lie about him being the father of the baby. He’d do whatever he had to, but he wasn’t going to allow her to throw her life, her talent, her goodness away on a loser like Jason Cook.
He snapped off a brief nod and headed for the stairs.
As he reached the top, aware of Elanor’s anxious eyes following his every step, a door opened and Jordan appeared in the hallway. They both stopped dead, staring. She wore a bright orange floral robe tied at the waist. She seemed to have lost weight. The robe clung to her as she stood, the sharp angle of her hip clearly showing through the flimsy fabric. Her hair was loose and brushed behind her ears.
She looked done in. Her eyes were pink and puffy, her lips paler than lilac. Nick stroke forward, filled with an irrational worry that she might fall if he didn’t catch her, hold her up. “What is it? Are you sick?”
Her eyes widened as he approached, and she opened her mouth, but nothing came out. He reached out and ran his hand down her arm, needing to touch her, to make sure she wouldn’t disappear into thin air.
Jordan shrank away, a tiny shift back that sliced at him. “What do you want, Nick? If my father…”
He shook his head, stung by her disapproving tone. “I went to your place,” he began curtly.
“And naturally you assumed I was with someone else.” Her surprise had cooled into sullen weariness.
“Whatever happened in the past week,” Nick ground out, “we have to put it behind us.”
Jordan swallowed and looked away. He imagined it was guilt making her chew her bottom lip, but then reminded himself of his purpose. The baby came first. Whatever mistakes she’d made—they’d both made—they could work on forgiving each other after he had an assurance from her that they had a future together. “I’m not blaming you, but I won’t let you throw your life away on that loser.”
She blinked. “You won’t let me…who?”
“Jason!” he snarled, his jealousy perilously close to the surface. “Your ex—and soon-to-be ex again.”
She huffed out a weary breath, shaking her head slightly. “You really believe I’ve been sleeping around?”
Yes. No. Hell, all he wanted was her denial.
“Haven’t you noticed,” she said with exaggerated patience, “that the papers don’t care about true or false? If I trip over, it’s because I’m drunk or on drugs. If I say hello to someone on the street, I’m engaged.”
“You said yesterday—you intimated…”
“Oh, Nick.” She sighed. “Can’t you recognize when a woman is in love with you?”
Nick stared at her, the wind knocked completely out of his sails. She loved him. There was no one else.
Jordan stood in front of him, rocking on her heels a little. But at least some of the color was returning to her cheeks. She was still the most beautiful woman he had ever seen. Relief and elation threatened to overwhelm him.
“I didn’t deny your accusations,” she continued, “because you hurt me so much. You just disappeared off the face of the earth. I didn’t know what I’d done. And when you looked at me like that yesterday…” Her voice broke. “Why, Nick? Why did you brush me off like I was something on your shoe?”
Nick closed his eyes against the pain darkening hers. Unfamiliar emotions slammed him. Elation that she loved him, relief that she wanted no one else, guilt for putting that pain on her lovely face. Moving purely on instinct, he reached out and took both her hands in his. “Didn’t your mother tell you what was going on?”
Her hands lay limply in his. “She told me she warned you off. And that she’d had me investigated.” Her voice was listless, as if declaring her love had drained her of energy.
She really looked done in. Nick pointed his chin at the door behind her. “Can we sit down?”
Jordan led him into a large, feminine bedroom. The colors were peach and sage green. The windows overlooked the rhododendron garden that the Lake mansion was quite famous for. His eyes darted to the sports and dancing trophies lining one massive bookcase, and to a clutch of photos of her at a young age, wearing ballet costumes or a net-ball skirt or a school uniform. He wanted to inspect them more closely, but she had sunk down onto an unmade queen-sized bed. As he joined her, she grabbed a pillow, hugging it to her stomach.
“I was away,” he began, wary of implicating her mother in this part of it.
“Sydney.” She nodded.
“I found out I wasn’t Randall’s son, or my mother’s. I was—purchased.”
Nick still couldn’t believe it himself. He knew Randall and Melanie loved him, as did Adam. As for his birth mother, he’d made a start, and was grateful she’d given him up to the best possible family.
But he needed to be with Jordan. He needed her love to make him whole. She was home to him in a way he’d never felt before.
He felt the pressure of her hand on his shoulder, warming him, as welcome as the comfort, acceptance and empathy that showed in her eyes.
“I spent ten days in Australia, tracking my birth parents. I thought of you—often—but it was just so complicated. I didn’t want to get into it on the phone.”
“Did you find them?” she asked after a few seconds.
“My mother, yes. Not my father, though I’ve got some leads I’ll probably check out.”
“Did you like her?”
He nodded. “She’s nice, has her own family. She’d like to keep in touch.” At least he’d gotten one thing clear in his mind. “She may have given birth to me but Melanie was my mother.”
Jordan’s hand slid off his shoulder. He missed it immediately.
“How did Randall take all this?”
“I think he’s been expecting it—dreading it—for years. It’s probably a relief.”
Jordan looked down at her feet, swallowing. “That’s huge, Nick. I wish you would have told me.”
He should have, he knew that now. Maybe he was afraid that with all the barriers to them being together, his illegitimacy might be the last straw. Jordan wasn’t the only one capable of holding things back.
“Nick, I need to know if you planned this whole thing so you could get a promotion.”
He’d wondered when she’d get around to this. “We met, fell into bed, kept meeting. Jordan, I lived for our Fridays. When the case started,Adam made a lighthearted suggestion that a union between us might persuade our fathers to cool it, stop with the fighting and the legal battles. That comment fell on fertile ground because I was already halfway there. It wasn’t exactly a hardship,” he said earnestly, taking her hands in his. “We’re good together. Everything that grew out of that was real.”