Attack of the Alien Mole Invaders

1

The Zoney Zone

THONKA-THONKA-THONKA!

Jeff Ryan stepped back from the swishing blades of the big helicopter taking off from his front yard.

“I’m off to the shoe store, dear!” yelled Jeff’s mother, swinging from a rope ladder above him.

Jeff glanced up and down Birch Street. It was a beautiful sunny Saturday. Other moms might be flipping pancakes or reading the morning newspaper.

Not his mom. She was off to her job at the shoe store.

Thonka-thonka.

A moment later, the chopper roared away toward the hills north of Grover’s Mill.

Shoe store? Jeff thought to himself. His mother had been saying that for as long as he could remember. But his friends told him there was a secret army base in those hills. A base filled with stuff captured from alien spaceships!

His friends all thought that was very weird.

Jeff sighed to himself. “But Mom would tell me the truth, wouldn’t she?”

Bong! The giant donut-shaped clock on the Double Dunk Donut Den chimed the hour.

Sssss! A big puff of steam rose from the oversized pan on the top of Usher’s House of Pancakes.

Grover’s Mill had not one, but two giant food signs on Main Street.

His friends thought that was also very weird.

Jeff thought it was kind of funny.

“Time to go,” he told himself. Jeff was meeting his friends at Mike Mazur’s house to play some street hockey. Mike’s street had just been paved and it would be perfect for a game.

Jeff looked down at his skates. They were not in the best shape. They were old and getting older and tighter by the minute. And hockey wasn’t really his game. He’d be lucky if he got anywhere near the puck.

Jeff curled the brim of his baseball cap, grabbed his hockey stick, and pushed off down the sidewalk.

Actually, the sidewalk sort of pushed up at him!

“Ooof!” Jeff stumbled, skidded, and landed on his face.

He turned his head—ouch!—and saw the problem. A big round bump ran across the sidewalk. In fact, it went completely across the street and up a yard on the other side.

“My lawn!” shrieked a voice from across the street. Jeff craned his neck to see Mr. Sweeney, the janitor of W. Reid Elementary, batting furiously at the bump in his yard with a shovel.

“Uh, do you like it down there, or do you want help?” said a voice.

Jeff looked up. Holly Vickers was standing over him. She was wearing skates, too, had a hockey stick over her shoulder, and a bubble gum bubble growing slowly out of her mouth.

Holly was in Jeff’s class at W. Reid Elementary. She was also the sister of his best friend Sean.

Pop! went the bubble. Holly reached down and pulled Jeff to his feet. “Weird,” she said. “This street is looking more and more like a crinkle-cut french fry.”

Jeff shrugged, twisting his baseball cap. “Yeah, this bump just suddenly appeared and—”

BLAMMO! The ground thundered!

Jeff dived back to the sidewalk—and this time Holly joined him—as a big, heavy manhole cover shot up from the street next to them! It arced like a basketball going for the net and landed across the street.

CRUNNNNCH!

“My mailbox!” screamed Mr. Sweeney.

The two kids crawled slowly over to the hole in the street and looked down.

“Red,” said Jeff, squinting into the sewer. “Reddish light. Do you see that?”

“Very weird, Jeff. Very zoney,” Holly said. “Let’s get to Mike’s before the sky falls down.”

“Or the street falls up!” said Jeff, grabbing his stick and twisting his cap around. “But listen, I just want you to know. Hockey isn’t really my game.”

“Yeah, I know, but hurry up, anyway. It’s going to be fun,” said Holly, already skating down the street.

“Yeah, lots of fun,” Jeff mumbled, his toes starting to ache in his skates.

Two minutes later, they rolled down Cedar Circle. Mike was in front of his house. He was swatting a round black puck around with his stick. Liz Duffey sat on the curb, strapping on her Rollerblades.

“Where’s Sean?” asked Jeff.

Splat! Splort! Splut! Strange slopping sounds came squishing down the street!

Everyone turned.

Suddenly, there was Sean Vickers skating up the sidewalk, soaking wet.

Holly snickered. “What happened to you?”

“A fire hydrant happened to me!” said Sean, splashing and dripping over to the curb. “I thought I heard a fire hydrant say something to me. It sounded like, ‘Grok!’”

“What does ‘Grok’ mean?” asked Jeff.

“That’s just what I asked the hydrant!” said Sean. “But when I leaned over for the answer—it blew up in my face. You should’ve heard Mr. Sweeney when the water flooded his lawn!”