And so it begins.
I got up and grabbed my bag from where it had been sitting next to the chair and followed the sullen man. It wasn't until we were in the car and on the road that I let my irritation get the better of me and said, "You wanna tell me where we're going? You know, so I can guard your body and shit." I made sure to send him an ogling look that ran the length of his body as I spoke, but if he noticed, he didn't acknowledge it.
Magnus didn't answer and for once I found I didn't give a shit, so I held my tongue and turned my head so I was staring out the window. I'd never been to Texas before and I couldn't say I was overly impressed, especially after having spent the past few months in Seattle. As we'd flown over the state, all I could think was that everything seemed so dull and lifeless in Texas compared to back home where the area was vibrant with color and life.
Wait … back home? What the fuck?
Seattle wasn't home. Seattle was a fucking pit stop.
My skin felt itchy at my slip of the mind and I tried to regroup.
"We're going to my old office."
The sound of Magnus's voice startled me from my thoughts and I shifted enough to look at him. "What?" I asked stupidly.
Magnus paused and sent me a curious look before saying, "Ranger headquarters … to talk to my captain."
I nodded and then finally hit on what he'd said. "Your old office?"
Magnus hesitated for a moment and said, "Yeah, I guess I've already started to think of it that way."
"What do you mean?"
Another long pause which made me wonder if he was debating what to say or deciding if he wanted to waste his breath talking to me. Finally, he said, "I took a leave of absence after Hawke tracked me down. I had every intention of returning to the job … "
"But now you're not?" I asked.
"I made a promise to my grandson," was all Magnus said, his mood becoming sullen once again. I let out a soft laugh before I could think better of it.
"What?" Magnus asked sharply.
I shook my head. I was too fucking tired to get into it with him again after the three minutes of civility we'd managed so far. "Nothing."
Magnus's already hard jaw tightened a little bit and then I heard him sigh. "What?" he asked, his voice softer this time and I felt a shiver of energy beneath my skin. What would it sound like if he said my name that way?
"Nothing," I said again. But before he could get pissed, I added, "I was just thinking how hard it must be to say no to that kid. I mean, not when he's asking if he can stick his hand in a wood chipper or something … "
Magnus glanced at me and while he didn't exactly smile, I swore I saw a sparkle of amusement in his eyes before it was gone again. I realized I'd gotten distracted by how different he looked when he wasn't all locked up tight and tried to remember what I was going to say. But when he shot me another quick look, the words escaped me so I settled for, "Anyway, he's an amazing kid." I turned my attention back out the window as my mind drifted to the many times I'd stood outside the little boy's room and had had to listen to him cry when he'd been put through some painful test or procedure or when he'd been frustrated that he couldn't go outside and play like a normal kid.
"Fucking bravest kid I've ever met," I muttered quietly.
Magnus didn't respond, which was just fine with me since I'd said more than I'd intended. I'd been guarding the kid … my job hadn't been to get emotionally attached to him – or at least not show it. Of course, I'd pretty much kissed that rule goodbye when I'd brought Matty a Christmas present.
"What did you say to him at the wedding?"
"What?" I asked again, pretending I hadn't heard him.
"You heard me."
Bastard.
I wracked my brain for something to say because I sure as hell wasn't going to tell him the truth. I'd already said too damn much. The asshole already thought I was a joke for a bodyguard … I didn't need to give him more fuel to dump on his bonfire of scorn.
"I told him he was going to be a hit with the ladies," I said with a smirk.
But to my surprise, Magnus actually smiled briefly and said, "I doubt that."
"What do you mean?" I asked, caught off guard by how gorgeous the man was when he smiled. I was even more caught off guard that he'd done it my presence.
"Now if you'd told him he was going to impress Leo, then maybe I'd have believed you, because that definitely would have put a smile on Matty's face."
I chuckled as I thought of Matty's little friend. "Um, what am I missing?"
Magnus cast me another look and fuck if it wasn't stunning. Eyes light and bright, a smile tugging at the corner of his mouth.
"Seems Leo and Matty have their own plans to walk down the aisle someday."
"Really?" I said with a laugh.
Magnus chuckled and shook his head. "Something about eating each other's peas and broccoli and not kissing because their daddies kiss too much."
I smiled at that, but then an unbidden memory was washing over me. I felt cold all over and barely refrained from hugging myself to try and ward off the chill. "Would it bother you?" I asked before I could stop myself.
"Would what bother me?" Magnus returned and when I didn't answer, he shot me a hard look. "Do you mean, would it bother me if Matty was gay?"
I'd clearly pissed him off and I suddenly wished I'd had the sense to just keep my damn mouth shut. I knew the comment he'd made about Matty marrying Leo had just been a repeat of a child's innocent imagination, but the thought that there could come a day where Matty would have to face one of the most important men in his life and tell him he really did dream about marrying another boy someday, was at the forefront of my mind.
"Jesus, Dante, how can you ask me that?" Magnus snapped.
Yep, I'd definitely pissed him off. We were back to my name sounding like a curse word on his lips.
"Hawke and Tate aren't your kids!" I bit out. "People are all liberal when it's other people's kids, but when it's yours … "
I snapped my mouth shut before shaking my head. "You know what, fuck it. Never mind."
A good two minutes of utter silence filled the car before Magnus said, "I wouldn't care who he ended up with, as long as he was happy."
I didn't respond to that, though some of the chill that had taken over my body dissipated. But it came back in a rush when Magnus quietly asked, "Is that what happened to you?"
Chapter Four
Magnus
Dante didn't answer me. He didn't even acknowledge the question. But it didn't take a rocket scientist to figure out the answer considering his inflamed outburst about how I'd react if I discovered my grandson was gay. I'd been honest when I'd said I didn't care in the least if that was how things ended up … even if it wasn't something I'd considered until meeting Hawke and Tate and the other couples and threesomes in their makeshift family. The reality was, I would be beyond grateful for Matty to find that same level of love and commitment, whether he did it with a man or woman.
I cast a sidelong glance in Dante's direction and saw that he was staring out the window. His foot was tapping incessantly on the floor, causing his whole leg to bounce and I had the insane urge to put my hand on his thigh to try and settle him. His right hand was at his mouth, his fingers worrying his lower lip. I'd never seen him so agitated before – yeah, he was the high-energy type, but I would have expected him to lash out with some inappropriate comment to deal with his frustration rather than bottle it up.
I focused my attention back on the road. Traffic was heavy as we neared our destination and I dreaded what was to come. I wasn't at all fazed about testifying in the upcoming trial, though I knew the high powered defense team was going to come at me with everything they had. No, what had my chest hurting and my head still throbbing was the realization that within the next half an hour, I was going to be officially closing out this chapter of my life.
All I'd ever wanted to be from the time I was old enough to start dreaming about my future, was a cop. But not just any cop. No, I'd wanted to be a Texas Ranger. It was in my blood … literally. My grandfather on my father's side had been a Ranger and he'd often taken me to the Texas Ranger Hall of Fame and Museum in Waco when I'd been Matty's age and regaled me with stories about his nearly forty-year career as a Ranger. Over the next four years, he'd spent every moment we'd been together preparing me for the day I'd walk in his footsteps and despite my young age, like a sponge, I'd soaked up everything he'd told me. I'd resolved to myself to have all the qualities Rangers were valued for and I'd even started learning to shoot a gun shortly before my grandfather died. I'd been rudderless after his passing, but my dreams to follow the same career path had never subsided, even as my life had begun to fall apart around me when my parents split up a few months later.
I pushed away the dark thoughts that started to drift through me and focused on my too quiet passenger. I hadn't heard the girls leave this morning, but I was still struggling with what their presence had meant … well, not so much what it had meant, but my reaction to the whole situation. Just like when I'd walked in on Dante in the bathroom with the guy at the wedding, I'd been unreasonably angry. The part I was trying to understand was why I was so damn angry. It wasn't like I had any say in what he did – he was free to do whatever and whoever the hell he wanted and I'd long ago accepted that he tended to think with his dick first. But how was that different from a lot of guys? Why did his behavior piss me off?