"Hey Nina, everything okay?" I asked as I continued to get dressed.
"Um, yeah … no … I'm not sure," Nina said. "That young man you've been bringing to see Ace … "
I froze and then snapped my fingers at Dante before putting the phone on speaker. "Is he there?" I asked Nina before she could even continue.
"Yes, he is. I was in the house and the dogs started barking. There was a cab down by the barn so I went down there to check it out and the driver told me his fare hadn't paid for the ride and had gone into the barn. He was getting ready to call the cops."
Dante and I hurried towards the kitchen. He snatched the car keys off the counter.
"What happened?" I asked.
"I went into the barn and saw your friend. He was in Ace's stall. He … he wouldn't talk to me. He seemed pretty upset so I left him there and paid the cab driver. Then called you."
Thank fuck.
"Nina, we're on our way. Can you just keep an eye on him and call me if he tries to leave?"
"Yeah, sure, no problem."
"Thank you, Nina. Really, thank you." With that, I hung up and cast a glance at a very tense Dante as he got behind the wheel. "He's okay," I reminded him.
But in reality, I doubted that was actually true and I knew Dante knew it too.
Chapter Twenty-Five
Dante
The sight of my brother huddled on the floor of Ace's stall had my frantic heart clenching painfully in my chest. I'd died a thousand agonizing deaths in the few seconds it had taken to hear the three words I'd never wanted to hear in my lifetime ever again.
Aleks is gone.
I was grateful that Nina had turned on one row of the overhead lights on Ace's side of the barn because it made it easier to see that Aleks appeared to be unharmed. At least from what I could see, because Ace was gently nudging Aleks's hands where they were resting on the horse's muzzle. I maneuvered my way beneath Ace's neck, keeping an eye on Aleks as I approached. He lifted his eyes to mine for the briefest of moments as I lowered myself to sit next to him on the floor. Then his gaze was back on Ace who continued to snuffle at Aleks's clothes. The big horse's massive hooves were just inches from our folded legs, but I wasn't worried he'd inadvertently step on us.
I wasn't sure where to start so I decided not to. If all Aleks wanted to do was sit here all night, I was more than okay with that. Hell, I'd move into Ace's stall if that was what Aleks needed.
Several minutes passed before Aleks said, "I couldn't remember where you lived."
"That's okay," I responded. "I'm glad you knew to come here."
"The man driving the car … he had to use his phone to look up this place. I only remembered the word 'Free' from the sign."
I nodded in understanding. The farm was called Flying Free Ranch and there was a big sign at the end of the driveway proclaiming the name.
"I didn't know I had to pay the man to drive me here. Is he still mad?"
"No," I said, shaking my head. "We took care of it." The fact that my brother knew nothing about cabs and how they worked was a brutal reminder of how sheltered he'd been, despite the ugly cruelties he'd had to face.
"What happened, Aleks?" I asked when he didn't continue on his own.
Aleks looked around the stall. Ace had taken a few steps away to feed on some slivers of hay spread around in the soft bed of shavings.
"Papa wanted to take it off," he said as he fingered the collar. "He found someone at the hotel with the right tools to remove it." My brother swallowed hard. "I told him Father would be angry … "
I felt my insides tighten. I could only imagine what my parents would have thought of hearing Aleks refer to his captor as 'Father.' They'd known why Aleks had been taken as a child and they were smart enough to know that the man who'd been holding him hadn't treated him as a son.
"What did Papa say?" I asked, the term 'Papa' sounding foreign to me since I'd never been allowed to call my stepfather that.
"He told me … he told me that the man was gone and I needed to forget about what had happened. That I was safe and things would go back to normal now."
Anger simmered in my veins. How the hell did my parents think anything my brother faced going forward would be normal?
"He said it was coming off in the morning and that was it," Aleks continued. His pain filled eyes shifted to me. "I know he's … he's dead, but … "
"You don't have to explain anything to me, Aleks," I said softly. "From this moment on, nothing happens that you don't want."
And I realized it was true. I would fight my parents with everything I had to make sure Aleks got what he needed. And what he needed was the time and the freedom to start making his own choices.
Aleks dropped his hand from the collar. "I wanted to call you … I wanted you to tell them not to take it off, but they took the phone you gave me away. They said … they said I couldn't see you anymore … that it was your fault I got taken in the first place."
A wave of heat passed through me as I realized we were at the moment I'd been dreading from the instant I'd discovered my brother was alive. But I wasn't the same person anymore. I'd changed because there'd been someone out there who'd shown me it was okay to be the flawed man I'd become.
Flawed, but not broken.
Tarnished, but not irredeemable.
"Do you remember that day? We went to the arcade, but you wanted to go to the toy store?"
Aleks nodded. "I wanted to spend my birthday money. You told me we'd go after you were done at the arcade."
"I told you that I was there to interview for a job."
Aleks shrugged, but I wasn't sure if that meant he remembered or not. "I lied to you about why we went there. I was meeting someone. A man." I paused as I tried to figure out how to proceed. For all the things my brother had been through, a part of me still saw him as the little eight-year-old boy he'd been. I drew in a deep breath and said, "For sex."
Aleks remained quiet as he dropped his eyes.
"I'm so sorry, Aleks. If I'd known what could happen, I never would have left you. I've wished for those few minutes back so many times … "
"You believe it too," he finally said. "You think it's your fault."
I dropped my gaze. "I guess a small part of me will always wish and wonder how things would have been different if I hadn't left you alone."
"Just like I keep wishing I'd listened to you and played some games like you told me to," Aleks said softly.
"It's not your fault," I said firmly as I carefully grabbed his chin to force him to meet my gaze. "You were just a kid. It was my responsibility to look out for you."
"Dante, it just happened. There's no reason for it. It just was."
I nodded and released him. I could feel tears stinging the backs of my eyes, but I managed to keep them at bay.
"They told me Mama and Papa were hurt," Aleks said softly, his eyes going to Ace. "They said they'd already gotten you and were taking you to the hospital to meet them there."
"Who?" I asked.
"A man and woman. They were dressed like police officers." Aleks was quiet for a moment before saying, "Even if I hadn't left the arcade, I would have gone with them."
I nodded as I realized it was true. At sixteen, I would have believed someone in uniform telling me something like that too.
"Mama and Papa want me to go back to being who I was. They want it to be like I was never gone."
"They love you," I said. Despite my own toxic relationship with them, I knew my parents loved Aleks with everything they had. I didn't agree with their approach in how they were handling his return, but I knew they were likely in their own state of denial. No parent wanted to accept that their child had been a sexual plaything to grown men. I didn't even know the details of everything that had happened to Aleks, and it was nearly crippling. The reality had to be a hundred times worse.
"But I know we can't go back to who we were, Aleks," I continued. "We all just want to help you, but it's hard to know how."
"He was my everything, Dante," Aleks whispered.
I flinched because I was terrified my brother harbored some twisted sense of love for Parks after so many years of abuse.
"Every breath I took was at his whim, not mine," Aleks continued. "The only thing I had was the hope that if I gave him everything he wanted, someday I'd be free. Now that that moment is finally here, it's like I can't move or breathe … " Aleks reached out to stroke his hand along Ace's muzzle as the horse moved back towards us. I couldn't help but wonder if the big animal sensed Aleks's growing distress.
"How am I supposed to move forward when I don't know how to take even one step without asking permission first?" Aleks asked, dejectedly.
"You've already taken so many steps, meu irmão," I said gently. His eyes flipped to mine and I saw a sheen of tears in them.
"I can't take those steps for you, but I promise you," I whispered fiercely. "I will be at your side with every one. I'll hold you up when you're ready to fall and I'll be there to cheer you on for every single one you take, no matter how big or small."