"No, it won't. But he'll have a chance at a future. He'll be back with you and your family."
Dante shook his head. "He's never going to forgive me. And once my parents take him home, they won't ever let me see him again."
"That won't be up to them. That will be Aleks's decision. And he's going to need you … all of you to get through this."
A harsh sob tore free from Dante's throat. "I don't even remember the guy's name."
"What guy?" I asked as I drew him tighter against me.
"The guy from the arcade." Dante wiped at his eyes and said, "You'd think I'd remember something like that."
I sighed because there just wasn't a good answer. Dante would carry the guilt of what had happened for the rest of his life, even if we did manage to find Aleks. His only goal in all of this was to save his brother. He had no intention of seeking forgiveness … or accepting it.
I rolled Dante onto his back and leaned over him. "If it had been your mother who'd been with Aleks that day and she'd told him to stay put while she did something, would you have been able to forgive her? Would you have hoped that Aleks would have forgiven her?"
"It's not the same thing – she wouldn't have left him alone to fuck-"
I put my finger over his mouth to silence him. "What does it matter why she would have left him alone? You'd forgive her because she couldn't have known what would happen. Dante, you were in a busy mall surrounded by people. You could have just as easily turned your back on him to go to the bathroom or to play one of the arcade games. You were sixteen fucking years old – you were too young to even conceive of something like that happening. Even if you were participating in an adult act like having sex, you were not an adult."
"It doesn't change what happened to him."
"That's exactly my point," I murmured. "He's going to need you to get through this. But if you let your guilt keep you from him, then that is on you."
Dante shook his head, but didn't say anything.
"Dante, you've spent all these years blaming yourself for what happened. Do you think you're the only one?"
"What?" he responded, completely confused.
"Aleks was eight, right?" At Dante's nod, I continued, knowing I was treading on dangerous ground. "Did he know better than to run off on his own-"
Dante's reaction was immediate and violent as he shoved at me to try and dislodge my hold on him. "Fuck you, Magnus! It wasn't his fault! He was a kid! He couldn't have known what would happen!"
I managed to subdue Dante, but it took all my energy and the use of my heavier body to pin him to the bed. "I know that," I said quickly. "That's not my point."
That calmed Dante a little, but he was still breathing heavily and his eyes were clouded with anger.
"Then what the fuck are you saying?"
"Think about it," I said softly. "You've been blaming yourself. Who do you think Aleks has been blaming this whole time?"
Dante was quiet for a moment before he began shaking his head. "No, it wasn't his fault. He … he'd know it wasn't his fault."
"How, baby?" I asked gently. "All he knows is that he didn't do what you told him. And chances are, the people who took him somehow convinced him to go with them. They probably had some story about you being hurt or whatever … Aleks would have believed them, but when he realized later it had all been a lie-"
"He would have blamed himself for falling for it," Dante interjected. He'd settled enough that I released my hold on him and eased some of my weight off his body.
We both fell silent. I laid down on my back and wasn't surprised when Dante tucked himself up against me. "I'm glad you're here, Magnus," he murmured.
I began playing with his hair. "Me too."
I'd expected him to fall asleep since he hadn't had much rest since we'd left Texas, but minutes passed and I could still feel his fingers stroking over my chest. The contact was relaxing, but just as I was about to nod off myself, I realized there was a pattern to his movements. I smiled when I realized what he was doing.
He was writing letters on my chest with his fingers.
And not just any letters.
They were the letters that made up those three little words he'd promised to say to me one day. My heart sped up in excitement as joy flowed through me. I'd known in my gut that he loved me, but having him say it, even in this way, just made it all the more real. Even if he never found the courage to say the words themselves, I could live a lifetime on seeing the emotion in his eyes and feeling it in his every touch. And while there was a ton of shit we needed to get through with finding Aleks and bringing him home, I knew Dante and I were okay. Yeah, we'd likely have bumps along the way, but he was it for me.
And if the letters on my chest were anything to go by, I was it for him too.
I closed my fingers over his to make sure he knew I'd finally gotten the message, since it had taken me so damn long to pick up on what he was doing. Dante shifted and then leaned over me, his eyes holding mine before he dropped his mouth to mine. The kiss turned heated and my body instantly responded. I moaned when Dante's hand traveled down my body to close around my cock.
I used my hand to clasp Dante's cheek and pulled back enough to say, "Are you sure?"
He nodded. "I need you."
I saw the truth of his words in his gaze, but he didn't have the same desperation he'd been experiencing the previous night. I kissed him softly before rolling him to his back. His legs opened so I could settle between them and our dicks lined up perfectly. Dante's hand was trapped between our bodies and he began fisting us at the same time.
"How do you want me?" I asked as I sipped at his mouth. I hadn't bottomed again since the night he'd taken me for the first time, but I was more than ready to feel him inside of me. "You want to tap this ass?" I asked jokingly as I lifted his free hand and settled it on my ass.
Dante laughed and then he was gripping one of my cheeks. "Another time," he said. His hand slid up my back and curled over my shoulder. "I need to feel you inside of me. Make it … make it last, okay?"
I understood his request. Yes, he was still trying to escape some of his emotions, but he wanted to feel others. He wanted to feel the good things being with each other brought out. In truth, I needed those things too because I was scared shitless about what would happen tomorrow. If we found Aleks, it would change Dante. But if we didn't, it would still change him. And there was little I could do to protect him in either scenario, at least not emotionally. The most I could do was be there for him … to be what I'd offered after our first time together … someone he could lean on when standing alone became too hard.
I fitted my mouth over Dante's and took my time kissing him. His hand was doing a good job of getting me worked up, but I wanted him to not have to think about anything so I pulled his hand free and urged it to my back. "Just hold on to me, okay?"
He nodded and I saw the relief in his eyes. He really did just want to feel.
I took my time making love to his mouth and then I kissed every place on his body I could reach without having to move. I let my cock rub against his, but kept the friction to a minimum. When he began bumping his hips against mine in order to get the sensation he needed, I put some space between our bodies. He protested, but I quickly silenced him with a hard kiss.
"My show," I murmured against his mouth before nipping his lower lip and then licking it to soothe away the sting. Dante's eyes were nearly black with need, but he stopped rubbing against me. His lips were slightly parted and swollen from my kisses and his breath was coming out in heavy pants.
I kissed my way down his body, but skirted his dick. I snuck a glance up at him and saw that his eyes were swirling with lust and hunger, but he remained silent, following my unspoken order. I rewarded him by sucking his cock to the back of my throat and hollowing out my cheeks. A muffled "Yes!" escaped his lips and then he was fucking my mouth with excitement. I let him control the pace before popping off him.
"Magnus," he whispered harshly.
I took pity on him and rose over him. I kissed him gently and said, "This first time's going to be just what you need, okay? Then I'm going to make you feel everything I do to you. You'll beg me to let you come … " I let the words hang as I reached over to the nightstand and grabbed the bottle of lube. I reached between us and coated my dick generously before guiding it to his opening. Dante lifted his legs and wrapped them around my lower back, angling his hips. I didn't bother prepping him because I knew he needed the pain as much as the burn. I took my time pushing into him, working myself deeper, inch by agonizingly slow inch. Dante's eyes slid shut as he struggled with the mix of pain and pleasure, but once I was fully seated, I ordered him to open his eyes, which he did immediately.
I pulled back until I nearly left his body, and then plunged forward in one swift lunge.
"Fuck, yes!" Dante cried out as his fingers wrapped around my wrists. My hands were on either side of him, holding my body up so I could get the leverage I needed to fuck him hard. He was unbearably tight around me and I struggled to maintain control of my own orgasm so I could bring him his. I could feel his ass rippling around me and knew it wouldn't take much to send him over.