Atonement (The Protectors #6)(32)

Fury tore through me, but I managed to keep quiet.

"I liked it," Dante said softly. "She smelled really good and everything about her was so soft. And Fernando made me feel … safe, I guess. They both took turns kissing me and then Ana was undoing my pants. I told her she shouldn't, but then her mouth was on me and Fernando was kissing me again. I came so fast and so hard … I was so embarrassed and confused that I started to cry. But then they started telling me how much they loved me and that I was their special boy. I let them take me to their room, but all they did was put me between them on the bed and we slept. I'd never felt that … wanted before. They took me home the next day and said they hoped I'd come back the following Saturday."

Dante shifted so that he was lying flat on his back and almost perpendicular to me, his head still resting on my chest. He once again searched out my fingers and began playing with them. I recognized it as a way for him to ease his anxiety.

"It was a couple of weeks before they had sex with me. I liked fucking Ana, but it hurt when Fernando … " Dante's voice dropped off for a moment before he said, "I got used to it after a while … sometimes I even liked it. They became the only good thing in my life besides Aleks. I was sure I was in love with both of them and I couldn't wait until I was old enough to leave home and live with them. They kept giving me money every weekend, even though I wasn't actually doing any work around their house. But they said it was important to keep up the pretense since not everyone would understand how much we all loved each other and that we were going to be a family one day."

"They told you that you would all be together someday?" I asked quietly. 

Dante nodded. "Pretty stupid, huh?"

"No, baby," I murmured. "It's not stupid at all."

"I was with them for nearly a year when things started to change. They'd tell me they had plans to visit family one weekend or that they were going on vacation the next. Pretty soon I was only seeing them once a month, if that. I had no idea anything was wrong … I believed everything they told me and they kept telling me they loved me..."

"What happened?" I asked when Dante went quiet.

"I went over to their house late one Friday night to bring Ana a present I'd gotten for her birthday. It was a locket. I'd saved up for weeks to buy it and I put a picture of Fernando on one side and me on the other. I knew where they kept their spare key, so I let myself in. The house was dark so I figured they were out for the night so I was just going to leave it on the counter so she'd see it when she got home. Then I heard them. I'd been with them enough to know what they were doing."

Dante let out an ugly laugh. "I decided to surprise them … I started taking off my clothes as I went to their bedroom. They were definitely surprised when they saw me."

"They weren't alone, were they?" I asked.

Dante shook his head. "The boy between them couldn't have been more than twelve. I know now how fucked up it was, but at the time I actually blamed him. Like he'd stolen them from me."

"What happened after that?" I asked as I swallowed down the bile that had been creeping up my throat.

"Fernando took me outside and told me they still loved me, but that Paulo  –  I think that was his name  –  was their special boy now. He gave me some money and told me to go home. I begged him to give me another chance. Even after he closed the door in my face, I pounded on it for at least an hour screaming both their names. The police eventually showed up and took me home. They told my parents that Fernando and Ana had called the cops to tell them I was harassing them after they'd told me I no longer worked for them. My stepfather was pissed … asked me how I could fuck up such an easy job that paid so much money."

Dante chuckled. "Fucker had no idea how many times I'd given up my ass for that cash."

"Did you ever tell anyone what they did to you?"

He shook his head. "I know now that what happened was messed up, but at the time I saw it as a real relationship, you know? It was the first time I'd ever been in love. Ever had sex. I tried finding the same thing with someone else … one person, a couple  –  I didn't care. But I learned pretty quickly that no one wanted me for love. Everything changed when I topped for the first time. Suddenly I'd found something I was good at and felt fucking amazing. It didn't matter who I was with  –  they could be older, rich, powerful, beautiful  –  none of that made any difference when they were begging me to get them off. If my stepfather called me worthless, I'd go out and find a guy or girl and prove to them I wasn't. If he told me I'd never amount to anything, I'd find a really successful guy and put him on his knees and make him beg for what he wanted."

I suspected Dante was trying to shock me with how twisted his logic had been, but it did the opposite. It made perfect sense to me and explained his behavior from the moment I'd met him and in the months that had followed. Sex was the only thing that made him feel in control … that gave him any kind of power.

My history with Dante made more sense now. I'd ignored him in the hopes he'd back off, but all I'd done was make him feel out of control and worthless. Guilt instantly invaded my senses, but I forced it away.

Clean slate.



       
         
       
        

"What happened with your family after Aleks … after you guys lost him?"

"My mother and stepfather were devastated … my stepfather blamed me, of course, but my mom stuck up for me. She told me it wasn't my fault."

Thank fuck someone had finally stood up for Dante in his life besides his little brother. But the thought was short-lived when his fingers tightened on mine. "What?" I whispered, knowing there was more to his story.

"I initially lied to the cops about why I was meeting the guy at the arcade. But about a week after Aleks was taken, the guy got scared when the police questioned him and told them the truth … my parents found out. The cops had to stop my stepfather from coming after me."

"And your mom?" I asked.

Dante chuckled, but it was forced and there was nothing humorous about it. "She called me a bicha and told me to pack up my stuff. She made the cops stick around so they could escort me from the house."

Anger rushed through me at the woman's defection. "A bicha?"

"Closest translation is fag or queer, I guess."

My anger turned onto a full-on rage. "So, all that shit about believing it wasn't your fault … "

"Didn't make a bit of difference," Dante murmured. "She told the cops she didn't want me around my youngest brother, Breno. He was two at that time." Dante began playing with my fingers again. "Not sure if she thought I would turn him … or worse."

"Worse?"

"Let's just say a few of my extended family members had no problem interchanging the words 'homosexual' and 'pedophile.' I didn't get to stick around long enough to find out if my mom really believed me capable of something like that with Breno … or Aleks."

"Jesus," I muttered. "What did you do?"

"Cops took me to a group home, but I left as soon as they did. Spent the night at a friend's house and then started looking for work … and Aleks."

I shook my head in disbelief as I tried to absorb everything he'd told me.

"You still sure you want the main course?" Dante murmured and I realized I'd been quiet for too long. I looked down to see Dante watching me nervously.

Forcing away the turmoil that was threatening to consume me, I smiled and leaned down to brush my mouth over his. "I like having my fair share of dessert, but I've always been, first and foremost, a meat and potatoes kind of guy."

Dante's relief was profound despite the fact that he tried to hide it by shifting his eyes from mine. He took my hand in his and flattened my palm on his chest and began rubbing it in circles. With every pass, he urged my hand lower. "I like myself a little meat now and then," Dante said breathily as he pushed my fingers beneath the waistband of his briefs. I closed my hand around his cock and watched in satisfaction as his eyes slid shut and he thrust into my hand. I teased his dick with a few strokes before sliding my hand down to his balls and giving them a gentle squeeze. 

"Magnus," Dante growled and I knew his patience was wearing thin.

"What?" I asked, unable to keep the amusement from my voice.

"Can we be done with this talking shit and get to the stuff I'm going to kick ass at in this relationship?"

The fact that he was using the "R" word to describe what was going on between us was a huge leap forward in my mind. "What did you have in mind?" I asked as I gripped his cock and gave him a few hard pulls before flicking my thumb over his slit. Moisture greeted my skin and my mouth filled with saliva in anticipation.

Dante sighed and squirmed in my hand. "Have I ever told you what my favorite number is?" he asked.

The question didn't make sense until Dante turned his body so that he was facing me, but his head was closer to my lap. I hadn't bothered getting dressed after our shower, so my hard cock was already eagerly awaiting Dante's touch. Except touch translated to him swallowing my length in one move and I let out a loud curse. I was transfixed by both the sight and sensation of Dante vigorously sucking me and began shaking my head in protest when he released me with a pop. "You still need help figuring out that number, Ranger Rick?"