Atonement (The Protectors #6)(27)

"So close," I whispered against his mouth as I felt my orgasm starting to build in my balls.

"Harder," Dante demanded. I was vaguely aware of his right hand releasing my arm, and I realized why. I lowered my own hand to his dick, knocking his hand away and began pumping his shaft with brutal intensity. Dante shouted in pleasure as he began trying to simultaneously fuck my hand and my dick. I managed to hold off my own orgasm to focus on his. If the sounds he was making hadn't been proof of how close he was to coming, the feeling of his pulsing shaft in my hand would have been enough. But they had nothing on the way his inner muscles were gripping me harder and harder as he neared the tipping point. When he finally went over, his ass clamped around me so hard that I let out a shout of surprise and then bit down on Dante's shoulder as my orgasm ripped through me, taking control of my body. I was only slightly aware of warm liquid sliding down my hand as I continued to stroke Dante's cock because my entire body had locked up so tight, I was sure the slightest touch would shatter me. My hips kept slamming against Dante as I throttled into him. My forward motion was so powerful, I ended up shoving us both forward until Dante managed to slap his hand on the wall, bracing himself for my violent pounding. Relief speared through me as jet after jet of cum left my body and filled the condom. I'd released Dante's dick at some point and I was clinging to him, my sweat covered chest pressed to his hot back and my hips still pumping into his trembling ass. I buried my face in the crook of his neck as the violent sensations began to slow, but I couldn't move because the aftershocks were still too intense.



       
         
       
        

Minutes or hours could have passed before my body finally relaxed and I was awash in the quiet energy tingling just beneath the surface of my skin. I was still struggling to breathe, but I had enough strength to place kisses along Dante's neck and just below his ear. His body was nearly flush with the wall and I could feel his breath sawing in and out of him as he came down from his own orgasm.

"Are you okay?" I asked gently as I loosened my hold on him enough so I could be sure I wasn't hurting him. I knew I needed to pull free of his body, but I wasn't ready to just yet.

Dante nodded, his head hung as he kept his forehead pressed to the wall.

He was quiet … too quiet. And that had me nervous. Had I hurt him? Or was it something else?

I used my hand to pull the hair back from Dante's face in the hopes I could see something in his expression. But his eyes were closed and his jaw was locked up tight.

"Did I hurt you?" I asked, though in my gut I knew I hadn't. Whatever was going on with him wasn't about pain … at least not physical pain.

Which didn't bode well for either of us.

"I should go get cleaned up," he murmured, though he still refused to turn his head to look at me.

I not we … yeah, that definitely wasn't a good sign.

The remnants of my orgasm faded away as I carefully pulled free of Dante's body. The sight of my release in the condom left me with a sense of regret.

Not for what we'd done … no, I definitely didn't have any regrets about that.

What I was regretting was the fact nothing of me was being left behind. I wanted him to be carrying my mark … I wanted to know that a part of me still lingered inside of him...proof of what we'd done and how good it had been.

Proof that he was mine.

My eyes fell on where'd I'd bitten down on his shoulder. Luckily, I hadn't broken the skin. But the red mark would fade in a day, two at the most. And since Dante was clearly retreating from me, there'd be nothing left to remind him of me and how badly we'd wanted each other … needed each other.

"Come upstairs," I urged as I settled one hand on his bicep. "My shower's big enough for two."

The invitation was brushed off with a shake of the head. "I'm fine using the guest bathroom down here."

All the emotions I'd been struggling with before the encounter with Dante came rushing back, only now they were nearly crippling me as Dante's rejection hung over my head. I'd become one of his conquests, nothing more. And I couldn't even fault him for it, because this whole thing had been on me. I'd pursued him. I'd refused to let him go when he'd tried to walk away. 

I stepped back and removed the condom, tying it off. I pulled my pants up and fastened them even as Dante remained where he was, unmoving. I felt cold inside as I grabbed my shirt off the floor. "Do you want me to call you a cab?"

Why the fuck wouldn't he turn around and look at me? Had this all really just been another random fuck to him?

"I'll call," was all he said.

Every moment after that felt like I was doing it underwater. Leaving him there just outside the den without another word. Going upstairs and showering. Putting on clean clothes and going down to the barn to feed the horses. Making a simple sandwich for dinner and eating it in bed before turning out the lights and wishing the day was over, even though darkness hadn't even fallen yet.

I felt nothing. I tasted nothing. I heard nothing. The only thing I did with any kind of certainty was stop myself from going to check the den to see if it was empty or not. Even my nightly call with Matty had been something to get through rather than something to look forward to.

But for all the shit I'd wanted to escape, I wasn't that lucky because I couldn't sleep. I glanced at the clock and saw it was well after midnight. I hadn't remembered to close the curtains, so moonlight was filtering in through the window, making it lighter in my bedroom than I normally liked. But it was also comforting in a way. A reminder that the world was still going on as scheduled even if my entire universe felt like it had imploded.

I was about to reach for my phone so I could listen to the many voicemails the prosecutor had left me, when I heard my doorknob turning and I automatically grabbed the loaded gun I kept on the nightstand. But I left it where it was when the door opened to reveal Dante. Relief flooded my insides at the knowledge that he hadn't left, but any excitement I felt that he'd come to my room was short-lived because I could tell from his hunched frame that he was far from okay. His gun was hanging at his side and he was only wearing a pair of sweats, but since there was no urgency in his motions, I figured he was carrying it around out of habit and not because there was any kind of threat.

I levered up enough so I could watch him, but I didn't say anything and neither did he. He made his way to the bed and just stood there for a moment. There was enough light to see the desperation on his face as he watched me. But I saw the confusion and anguish too. Whatever was going on with him was obviously fucking with his head. I waited for him to speak … to say anything, but he just stood there. I sensed that anything I said would send him running, so I shifted back on the bed a little and then lifted the blanket in invitation. He hesitated for what seemed like a lifetime, but was probably only a few seconds, before he put his gun down next to mine on the nightstand and then crawled into the bed next to me. He put his back to me as I lowered the blanket over both of us.

"I don't want to talk," was all he said.

I carefully brushed my fingers over his hair, pushing it back behind his ear so I could see his face. His eyes were closed and I could feel the tension rolling off him in waves. I wanted to say or do something to take away whatever it was that was causing him so much anguish, but I was at a loss. I didn't know how to fight an invisible enemy. But I also couldn't just turn away from him and pretend he wasn't there. I had to hope he'd come to my room for a reason. So, I sucked in a breath and asked, "Can I hold you, Dante?"

A single nod was the only answer I got. I carefully shifted so my front was lined up to his back and then I wrapped my arm around his chest. I ended up pinning his arms to his body as I surrounded him as best I could and when he didn't struggle against me, I had to assume he was okay. But it was a long time before his body finally relaxed and that was only because he'd drifted off. I lay there for a really long time just savoring how right he felt pressed up against me and just the simple act of being around him reminded me that I could get through everything that had gone wrong today.



       
         
       
        

Because one thing had gone really, really right.

Now I just had to figure out how to make that the norm, not the exception.





Chapter Thirteen




Dante



The morning breeze felt good against my heated skin even though the temperature was only in the upper forties. The weather had been cooperative ever since we'd arrived in Texas, but dark gray-blue clouds had rolled in overnight so I knew that streak was about to be broken. Luckily, Magnus and I had gotten all the repairs on the outside of the house and around the property done, so the impending rain wouldn't cause any harm. At worst, it would mean spending a day stuck indoors.

Which considering everything that had happened in the last twenty-four hours would have been conducive to torture because there was no way I could spend an entire day cooped up in the house with Magnus. I wouldn't even make it five minutes around the man at this rate.