Jake’s handing me the power. He’s not holding me or penning me in. I can say no, I can walk out and leave him here alone. Whatever happens tonight is my choice.
“My place is closer,” I say.
Jake
She reaches up to kiss me at her door.
When my fingers brush her cheek, they shake. We’ve been here before, and the last time I was so fucking sure I’d never take it all the way with her. I couldn’t stand to let her get close. I couldn’t stand the responsibility of sleeping with someone who wasn’t fuck-buddy material.
Still, I wanted her then, even if I wouldn’t admit it to myself. I want her now, a hundred times over. I still don’t think I deserve to have her. What I do think is that Cassie deserves a hell of a lot.
All that stuff she told me about the way I make her feel normal... I guess I’ve realized maybe she’s the closest to normal I’ll ever get, too. She’s seen most of my dark corners, and she hasn’t run screaming. That all alone is like some kind of miracle.
I’m here because I want to give Cassie one night of normal. Because dammit, every time she kisses me, the fire inside me burns hotter. I’m only fucking human. How much resolve is a red-blooded male supposed to have?
The metal and wood of her door scrapes my knuckles while I try to cushion her head. Try to work my fingers into her hair and show her over and over again with my fingers and my lips how much I want her.
How much she matters.
“Hey, Cass. I— Oh.”
I pull my mouth from hers at the sound of AJ’s voice. “Jesus.” My arms bracket her body—the urge to protect her follows me whether I want it to or not—but I turn toward the light cast from his room. “Hey, man.”
“Oh.” He laughs. “Sorry to interrupt. I thought I’d see if Cassie was up for a movie. It looks like maybe you guys might have other plans.”
Cassie chuckles in my ear. “Can we watch one tomorrow? Please? I’ll bring over some muffins from the bakery.”
“Blueberry?”
“It’s a date.”
“Deal. G’night, guys.” AJ laughs again and pulls his door shut, leaving us in the dark.
“We should go inside.” Cassie shoves open the door and I follow, guided by the touch of her hand and the pull of her smile.
“You’re right. We should.” Christ, I’m so fucking out of my element. I want to be the guy she needs tonight. I know she wants me to look at her the way I always have. She doesn’t want to be treated like she’s fragile, and I don’t want to do that to her. Still, I know she’s been hurt. I want to do this the right way.
What if there is no right way?
She throws her shirt on the floor and my tongue stops working.
I saw her before without a shirt, that morning she was rushing to get changed for work. This is different. The fire is in her eyes, the way they hold mine.
I see the question. I’ve seen it a hundred times from more women than I want to think about. She’s presenting herself to me, and she wants to know if I like what she has to offer.
God, I do. More than I have the words to tell her. “You’re so fucking beautiful.” It isn’t enough. It’s all I have.
“So are you.” She says this as she’s coming toward me, pushing my shirt up. Off.
“Guys aren’t beautiful.” I let her do what she wants though, because my head is too dizzy for anything else. Anyway, I figure it’s best if she takes the lead.
“Sure they are. You are.” Her hands smooth over my chest. My arms. She kisses the length of one of my sleeve tats and follows the same path her hands went over my chest. Down my stomach.
Shit, I’m going to pass out. The feather-light brush of her lips over each inch of skin, lower and lower, is complete torture. Amazing, unbelievable torture.
Her hand slips over the waistband of my jeans. Fingers tug at my buckle.
I tighten my fingers in her hair. “Cassie.”
“Aaand there it is.” She straightens, looking insecure. I hate that I put that look on her face. “What did I do this time?”
I pull her close. Damned if her skin doesn’t feel amazing against mine. “You didn’t do anything wrong any time. I did warn you I had issues.”
“Show me a person who doesn’t.”
Touché. “All right. Well, I want to do something kind of wild and crazy tonight, if you’re willing.” I kiss her palm and walk with her towards the bed. My pulse is racing with how badly I want to be inside this girl. Feeling the heat of her wrapped in my arms like this though, there’s something I want more.
She looks up with raised eyebrows. “Is it kinky? Because I’ve read a few books and I’m open to trying things. But no bondage and nothing with like, you know, body fluids or sharp stuff or—”