Oh. I’m getting the picture now. He gets rid of a car he doesn’t want and he gets me out of town. That aches more than it should. “Win-win. I see.”
He wants me to go so badly he would actually give me a car to make me leave? I already knew he wasn’t interested, so why does this burn so much? I should be relieved. This is a solution to my problems. I didn’t want to stay in Evergreen Grove anyway, and this gets me a cheap car. A really freaking nice cheap car.
But it does hurt. I liked him. I like him. “I need to think,” I tell him. “Can you give me a ride back to my room?”
Cassie
“So now he wants to just give me this car.”
AJ glances at me from the driver’s seat of Mrs. Choi’s dusty blue Buick. He’s wearing a giant pair of Jackie-O-style sunglasses with rhinestones across the top, but the side-eye is unmistakable. “I can’t believe he’s trying that hard to run you out of town over a little kiss. Anyway, you did say he wanted you to pay something for it so it’s not like he’s giving it to you for free.”
I groan and pretend to curl up on the seat. He’s making it all sound so reasonable, but nothing about this seems reasonable at all. “He said to pay me what I felt I could afford. I haven’t figured out how much that would be yet, but he knows it’s gonna be less than the cost of a rebuilt engine, because that would wipe out so much of my savings. The thing is, I did a little searching online about those cars. He could get maybe fifteen or twenty grand for that thing. Why would he give it to me for a fraction of that price?”
We pull into a manicured parking lot surrounded by grass and picnic tables. AJ turns to me with a grin when he stops the car. “Must have been some kiss.”
I try not to return his smile. I don’t want to give myself away. I can’t help it.
It wasn’t just some kiss. It was the kiss I’ll lay awake thinking about for the next twenty years of my life. I wonder what it was for Jake.
I want to ask the universe why it all feels so unfair. First, there was nothing inside me but pain. Then, for a long time I was numb, because numb was the only way I knew how to block out the onslaught of memories. Finally, I meet a guy who wakes me up. Only he wants me out of town so badly he’s trying to use a free car to make me go.
Okay, a really damn cheap car. There’s hardly any difference, is there?
I catch myself putting my hand to my chest, feeling the beats of my heart there as I stand next to Mrs. Choi’s Buick. I can’t let this overwhelm me. I clear my throat and rush around to the trunk where AJ is pulling out two organizing containers with handles. “So. What are we doing today?”
Delia’s got the coffee shop closed on Sundays, so I was ripe for the picking when AJ invited me to come do volunteer work. I didn’t think to ask what kind of volunteering. Now I see where we’re headed, and I wish I had.
He pushes his sunglasses up on his head. “It’s salon day at the assisted-living home. I first got into cutting hair back when I lived in a shelter. Before I got into, you know, the whole sex-for-fun-and-profit gig. I helped some of the women there to find jobs by cutting their hair and doing their makeup so they could go on interviews. It was amazing to see what it did for their self-esteem.” He points to the building we’re walking toward. Evergreen Assisted Living Community, the sign says in block letters. “So I come here once a month, visit with the folks, try to make ’em look pretty. After the shit I’ve been through, I like to have a way to give back. It’s not much, but it’s what I can do. You know?”
I stop on the bottom steps, watching him. “I think that’s amazing.”
He shrugs. “It’s honestly a small thing. I was living on one fifty-cent pack of peanuts from the Fast-Gas a day when I first left home. I don’t know if I’d even be alive now without Mrs. Choi’s help. We all need it sometimes.”
The pointed look on his face makes it clear what he’s trying to tell me. Still, the idea of taking that car from Jake... I don’t know if I can. It’s a huge thing, and it’s a gift I don’t deserve. Especially not when Jake is working so hard to save up for his education.
I push the whole debate aside and follow AJ in, allowing myself to get lost in the bustle of people in the nursing home. Apparently, this visit is a huge deal for the residents. They’ve got an area set aside in the common room, and even some of the staff members are waiting in line.
I can’t cut hair, but I help by handing AJ rollers and combs and sweeping up when he’s finished and ready to move on to the next person. I sing a little to entertain the people getting their hair cut. Not like I’m on a stage, just while I stand there helping out. It’s something, and it feels good.