At the Stars(15)

“Callin’ it like I see it.”

I shake my head in denial and take another drink. Tonight, I decide to deny everything except margaritas and nachos. “Nah,” is all I say.

“Why the hell not?”

I shrug. I don’t have a great answer. I left home because I decided I didn’t want to let fear make my decisions anymore. Leaving the only home you’ve ever known comes off as pretty brave on the surface, huh? Then again, I also left because I was tired of the whispers, the prying eyes, and the expectations I couldn’t get out from under. Maybe not so brave after all.

Maybe that’s just running away.

“Come on,” AJ urges as he pushes my drink toward me again. “You’re totally gorgeous. Especially with your new haircut.”

“Biased opinion.” But I smile again.

“Come on and drink more, we’re supposed to be celebrating. Maybe you’ll get mellow enough to take a compliment.”

That would require trusting that people are being honest, and I haven’t trusted that in a long time. I take a drink anyway and hope he’s right. If nothing else, I’m starting to get a friendly little buzz. “So,” I say poking at his arm. “Tell me how you wound up living next to me at the Grove Inn.”

“Hmm. Okay.” A grimace crosses his face. “So you may have guessed that I’m not really Mrs. Choi’s nephew.”

A light giggle slips out of my mouth, and I wonder when I did that last. The guys a couple of tables over look at me. Jake does too as he rises to head back to the bar. “I did wonder. I guessed maybe by marriage or something.”

A wry smile comes from AJ. “Yeah. Something is right.” He tips his chair back. “So my parents kicked me out. Blah, blah. Long sob story.”

Holy shit. “Oh my God, I’m so sorry.”

He waves me off, and I totally get it. I got tired of people saying that, too. “Anyway, I used to hustle for money...”

No freaking way. “Seriously? You mean like, sex and stuff?”

His cheeks turn hot pink. “It honestly wasn’t terrible. I met up with this guy who worked upscale hotels. Rich clients. Good money. I was doing pretty well until I found out screwing rich clients still doesn’t keep you from getting cut up with a switchblade and left lying in your own blood.”

I squeeze his hand because I can’t not squeeze his hand. It hits too close to home. “AJ...” I don’t know what else to say. It hurts. It hurts to think of someone doing that to any human being, much less one I know. It hurts because it makes me think of that afternoon I was attacked and what happened to the guy who tried to save me.

AJ only shrugs. “Mrs. Choi was assistant manager at the hotel back then. Housekeeping called her. She took me to the hospital, and then took me to her place to stay. Next thing I knew she’d basically adopted me.”

His smile is sad and the reality of it makes me sadder. “But...” I don’t know how to ask without being rude. “You’re okay now, more or less?”

He lifts an eyebrow. “I’m healthy, yeah. I had a rule about protection. Wasn’t much, but it was something. And the guy didn’t cut anything vital, thank fuck.” He puts a hand on mine. “Hey listen, I’ve got it good. I fix stuff around the motel and I man the desk at nights so Mrs. Choi doesn’t have to. I have a place to stay for free. This awesome chick moved in next door and she seems fun to hang out with. Someday, I hope I can cut hair for real, but until then I rely on unsuspecting victims like you.”

I laugh and sip at my drink, basking in the golden glow of being a cheap date. “I do like the haircut. And I’m glad things turned out well for you.” I glance over my shoulder, thinking I heard the swish of the door, but no. “I meant the attack. That’s scary.” That’s something I know better than anyone.

AJ nods. He’s quiet for a minute before he answers. “It was a good wake-up call, but I feel like I got lucky. I heard stories about guys who had it worse. I don’t date really, but maybe I’ll want to someday.”

“You will,” I promise him. I know we all take our own paths to healing, but he’ll get there. I eventually had a college boyfriend long after what happened in that record store, and even though it didn’t work out, I hope that one day I can have a real relationship. Maybe even one that isn’t tentative and damaged.

AJ gives me a playful kick under the table. “You’re sure you’re not interested in Jake?”

God, I’m still watching the door, aren’t I? I roll my eyes, feeling silly. “Even if I wanted to go for it, not that I do, he wouldn’t be interested.”