At the Stars(13)

I burdened my mom, after all, didn’t I?

AJ stands there in the doorway biting his lip thoughtfully for long enough that I have to work not to squirm. “You know, it’s cool if you have plans. I should really be looking around for some more transportation options—”

“No-no, stop.” He tugs my arm with a laugh. “Chill, sweetie, I’m thinking is all.” He bites his lips some more. “I mean this town is so tiny, we really only have a couple of options for celebrating. The Heart and Hearth is doing their big, schmancy BBQ buffet, but that’s probably a little rich for both of us. Plus it’ll be crowded. There’s Joe’s place, that little pub-type deal above the bakery? It’s kind of a hole, but they have good wings and nachos. I like this bar a couple of towns over, but I was thinking I don’t know if the local bus is running the regular schedule since it’s a holiday. That’s... that’s all. No sweat.”

There’s a local bus? Jake failed to mention that when he said the out of town station was fifteen miles away, that sneaky jerk.

AJ squeezes my hand and offers a hopeful smile. I take a deep breath, and the anxious scampering in my chest slows down. Meanwhile, I feel like an idiot on so many levels.

The minute I met AJ, I thought he seemed friendly and nice. Then the second he hesitates, I wonder if he’s decided I’m not worth the time to hang out. What’s wrong with me?

Maybe if I weren’t getting so used to people leaving me when I needed them.

“I’m sorry.” I squeeze his hand back, wishing like I do so many times that I could rewind to before I’d zoned out and acted like a freak. “I just...”

AJ looks at me like I’ve worried him. “Hey, you okay?”

A confession—my loneliness and insecurity—sticks in my chest. That’s the stuff nobody wants to know. Nobody needs to know “Yeah. Yeah, I’m just— You know, I’m still getting used to waking up at the crack of dawn to bake dozens of muffins.”

He laughs. “Well, you feel free to bring me more of your screw-ups anytime. Those last ones were good.” He brightens. “Listen, why don’t we head over to Joe’s? My treat. We won’t stay long if you’re tired.”

I worry about AJ offering to pay for me, since I suspect a skinny guy living in a motel probably isn’t doing much better off for money than I am. I don’t want to offend him though, and like he says—we won’t stay long.

“Sounds like a plan.” Actually, when I think about it, I manage to smile.

Going out, to parties or really anywhere, is one of those things I’d stopped doing back home. People looked or they whispered or the really bold ones asked questions. I was afraid to drink really at all, because every guy who met me knew my history and might think of me as vulnerable. I hardly remember what it’s like to do much more than sip some cheap wine in front of the television simply so I could say that I did.

I grab my sweater in case the night gets chilly and link my arm through his. Maybe tonight I’ll get to feel normal for a change.

I like that idea.





6. HOTTIE MCBARTENDER IS HOT


Cassie

“I hope you’re not a vegetarian.” AJ lands a plate of the best-looking, greasiest bar food I’ve ever seen on the table in front of me.

Mostly since I got to Evergreen Grove, I’ve been living on stuff Delia lets me take home from the coffee shop. This steaming pile of meat and cheese looks pretty much like nirvana. I shake my head and go at the pile with a fork. “No, I’m a big fan of savory meats and cheeses. My mom was a vegetarian, though.”

“Was?” He gives a perceptively sympathetic head tilt but doesn’t ask any other questions.

“Yeah.” I wish I had a better filter sometimes. I shrug, not wanting to kill my birthday buzz before it’s gotten started.

AJ, God bless him, doesn’t push. Instead, he slaps his hand on the table and gives me a big grin. “We need some drinks to go with all of this grease. I’m thinking margaritas or a frosty beer. Preference?”

“Surprise me,” I say. I shrug again, this time matching his huge smile because he’s doing a little dance to the old-school Aerosmith coming over the sound system. I can’t help but find it humorous. He’s trying to cheer me up¸ and I’m grateful.

We’re settled in on the back patio, and I lean back in my chair to suck down a deep breath while AJ heads inside. The night air smells smoky and warm from all the fireworks and the celebrations, which reminds me of things like camping trips back home. Things I’d nearly forgotten. The little city of Connor wasn’t all bad. It’s just that there toward the end, I couldn’t remember much of the good.