At Any Price(60)

“Things just keep getting in the way and then last night…” I unscrewed the cap from the bottle of water and took a long sip.

“What happened last night?”

“We spent the day together—had a terrific time. And yesterday before dinner we were talking in the Jacuzzi. He asked me about what happened to me in high school.”

Heath’s frowned. “How much did you tell him?”

I shrugged. “Everything. It was easier to tell him than I thought. It just all came out.”

“Okay so what does that have to do with not—” Then his face flushed and he grimaced. “Oh I get it. He doesn’t want to touch you now because you’re damaged goods?”

“What? No. No. I think it freaked him out for the opposite reason. He said he wasn’t sure I was ready. He said he wouldn’t forgive himself if I freaked out about it.”

“Are you sure he’s not just procrastinating? Maybe it’s an excuse not to pay you.”

I shrugged. “I really don’t think that’s it. I just don’t know.”

Heath shook his head. “Are you two dating or something? He’s picking you up at six?”

“It’s a family barbecue.”

Heath cursed.

“What?” I said.

“He’s playing you, Mia. This was a deal for one night. Now he’s treating you like his own personal call girl.”

I shook my head. “That’s not true. We haven’t—”

“You haven’t fucked. But you’ve done other stuff,” Heath said. “You don’t even have to tell me that. I know.”

I shook my head. “That doesn’t make sense. He hasn’t even…”

Heath shrugged. “There are all kinds. Maybe he gets off on denying himself.”

“Shut up, Heath. Stop trying to make this all sound sick.”

“Girl, it started out sick. It’s just getting worse.”

I plunked down at my kitchen table and Heath’s eyes flew to the shiny new laptop. He waved a hand toward it. “New phone. New computer. A fancy overnight stay on a yacht. What’s next? A car? What’s he buying with all these expensive gifts? He wants something. He wants more than one night.”

I rubbed my forehead. I felt so stupid at this moment, unable to figure out what the simplest things meant. Was Adam using me? For what? I couldn’t get the vision of that expression on his face out of my mind—right after he’d stopped himself and pulled away. He’d looked so disgusted.

“You picked him out, Heath. You said he was the best choice.”

“I wasn’t lying. He was. But this whole thing started out in bizarro world and took a sharp left turn into fucked-up land fast.”

I shook my head, no snarky reply forthcoming. I must have been off my game.

After staring through me for a few tense minutes, Heath finally blew out a breath. “Listen, you are a big girl. I love you, but I can’t stand by and watch you get yourself fucked by this guy—in more ways than the intended one.”

I couldn’t breathe, suddenly close to tears. “Heath, why are you being so hurtful?” Heath’s words were only confirming my worst fears. Adam was using me. Adam wanted something from me. Adam would discard me like garbage once he was done with me. Just like the Biological Sperm Donor had done with my mother. Because they were all the same.

“Because I’m worried about you. You aren’t actually developing feelings for him, are you? A guy like that will chew you up and spit you out.”

I looked into Heath’s eyes and shook my head. “I have to take my chances, Heath.”

Heath spread his hands out wide. “Fine. You don’t have to listen to me. But I’m not fielding your mother’s calls anymore. You handle it. Handle it all. I’m out.”

And with a disgusted wave of his arm, he turned and left, slamming the door behind him.

I might have laid my head down and cried. I sure felt like it. But I didn’t. I logged on to the game instead and took out about two dozen orcs, checking at least a dozen times to see if my friends FallenOne or Persephone were on. Fallen hadn’t logged into the game since the day we had chatted, weeks ago. I sent him a quick e-mail, asking how he was and when he was going to come back, then started working on an article for my blog.

Heath’s words repeated themselves over and over in my head and I could hardly concentrate on all the things I had to do. Was Adam playing me? For what reason? Was what we were doing truly sick? I couldn’t answer. Every time I thought about Adam, strange feelings rose up in my chest and threatened to crowd everything else out. It made it hard to think, hard to breathe.