I spun on him, face burning. “What?”
“You aren’t ready.”
I knew he wasn’t talking about running now. I stiffened. “And who are you to determine that? It’s my decision. My body. I’m twenty-two years old, for chrissakes. I could go out tomorrow with anyone and—”
“No, you can’t,” he said flatly, hands curling at his sides.
I shook my head. “There’s no agreement if you refuse to go through with it.”
“Oh? So you’ve just decided to do away with our impending bank transfer?”
I swallowed in a tight throat. I needed that money, goddamn it. I shrugged. “Who says you were ever planning to pay me, anyway?”
His jaw bulged. “I never back out of my agreements.”
I shook my head. “I can’t take this. I opened up to you. You asked me to be honest and I was and now…” I gestured wildly. “It’s like you’re punishing me because I told you about my past.”
He approached me, reaching out to touch my cheek. I closed my eyes and jerked my head away from his hand. “Emilia. Look at me.”
I opened my eyes.
“If I didn’t care about you as a person, I wouldn’t give a shit. I’d just do it. But I’m not convinced that it won’t somehow harm you. I’d never forgive myself.
I folded my arms across my chest. “So if not now, when? Never? Adam, I need that money.”
He tilted his head, studying me. “You haven’t even applied to med school yet.”
I glanced away. Could I afford to tell him the real reason? The ranch was literally in trouble. It sounded like a cheesy ‘80s movie plot, but if my mom lost her ranch and the bed-and-breakfast that went along with it, she’d lose her livelihood. And if that happened, there’d be no more cancer therapy. I’d just opened up to him about my personal life, and he’d taken the decision out of my hands. I couldn’t trust him not to do the same if I told him why I really needed the money now.
“I don’t have the whole story, I take it. Why do you need the money?”
I stiffened. “Why should I tell you? So you can use it against me?”
Those midnight eyes were hard. Stern. I lifted my chin, staring him down. Did I have any choice but to go along with his decisions? I let out a slow breath.
His gaze didn’t waver as he watched me intently. “You thought you were the one in control. Now you’re realizing that’s no longer the case.”
I exhaled suddenly, as if he’d just punched me. “I was never in control, was I? You just let me think I was. I’ve always considered myself a smart person—smart enough to get a scholarship and get the grades for medical school, but I’m not a prodigy genius and I’m not going to exhaust myself trying to outthink you. Am I just some little toy to play with until you get bored again?”
He blinked, his arms tensed. “No.”
“Because that’s your problem, you know. You’re bored. You’re empty. All you do is work. You surround yourself with every costly toy imaginable and keep people at a distance. Does anyone love you? Do you love anyone?”
I don’t know if it was my imagination, but he seemed to grow a shade paler. He shifted his weight and ran a hand through his dark hair. But I turned and ran back to my room. I didn’t want to do this anymore.
He caught me just outside the door to my room, wrapped his hand around my upper arm and pulled me around to face him.
His mouth found mine and though I was still angry, I let him kiss me. His arms came around me and pulled me tight against him. When we came apart, his breath was harsh and his voice was dark, husky. “One more night, Emilia.”
I said nothing, looking into his eyes. I put my hands up to push away from him and he tightened his grip on my waist. “Please.”
I took a deep breath. “I need something—some kind of—We can’t just keep doing this.”
He tipped his head down to rest his forehead against mine. His eyes squeezed tight and then opened again. My throat tightened at the determination in his eyes. “One more night. I’ll transfer half the money to you on Monday.”
I shivered. When I spoke, it was with a shaky voice. “Okay…” I hesitated. “If you still want me.”
He slowly released me, stepping back. He took a deep breath, his right hand closing into a fist. “Were you in any doubt until I stopped it?”
I shook my head.
“Then don’t allow yourself to think otherwise. I want you. Very much.”
My heart thudded in my throat. He wanted me—for one night. And then what? For the first time since entering into this entire sordid scheme, I was beginning to think I’d made a very, very bad decision. With my strict rules, my frenzied grasps at control, I’d boxed myself into an impossible situation, because my feelings for him were starting to grow too big for just one night. Just one more night.