I narrowed my eyes. “Uh huh. With your satellite Internet—I saw that big old office you have belowdecks. It’s not for bringing women out here.”
“I told you I don’t bring women out here.”
“You brought me.”
He glanced at me. “Yes, but you are an exception.”
“Have you ever had a long-term relationship?” I asked.
His dark eyes darted to the ocean once again. “No. I never had the time.”
“Ah. So you just have…fuck buddies.”
He was amused. “If you want to call them that. And what about you? No fuck buddies obviously, but you don’t date, either.”
I shook my head. “Nope. Tried it. Didn’t like it.” I shrugged.
He watched me carefully. “How old were you when you made that decision?”
“Sixteen.”
He cursed under his breath.
“Anyway, let’s talk about something else!” I said brightly.
He shook his head. “No, I want to talk about this for a few moments longer.” I shook my head right back. His gaze hardened. “Don’t get like that, Emilia. I think it important that I know if anything painful happened to you. I want to do everything I can to make you comfortable. What happened in Amsterdam—”
“It won’t happen again—no need to worry. I did a lot of therapy.”
“I disagree. I should worry.”
I sighed and glanced off to the side. “I had a boyfriend in high school. He was a football star, a senior, and I was a stupid little sophomore with stars in my eyes. He treated me like shit. One night he got drunk and assaulted me. I broke up with him. The end.”
Now his face was grim. “He assaulted you…sexually?”
My breathing froze. I had never talked to many people about this. Heath knew it all. So did my therapist. Mom knew some of it but I refused to say any more about it after she started talking about going to the police. It was dropped and she got me the therapist to talk to instead.
I took a deep breath and took a leap. For some reason, those dark eyes compelled me to do so. Sometimes I was a coward—most of the time I was. But I could be brave today. Just for today. And speaking of this took pretty much all the courage I had.
“He wanted to have sex and I said no. He got pissed and slammed my head into the steering wheel—we were parked up on the Ridge—up in the foothills. I’d been driving because he was hammered from the party we’d gone to. I got out of the car and took off running. He caught me and—”
My voice trembled and cut off. Adam watched me, his expression grim, but did not move, did not say a thing, waiting patiently for me to collect myself. I took a deep but shaky breath.
“He grabbed me by the hair, pulled me on my knees and made me go down on him.” Eat it, bitch, he’d slurred while I sobbed. Remembered fear closed my throat. I didn’t mention the scars on my scalp, where he had pulled so hard on my hair that he’d torn small chunks of it out. Hair wouldn’t grow on those spots for years afterward.
“I hope he got a long time in jail for that,” he said and my chest tightened.
I avoided his eyes. Here’s where Mia showed herself for the gutless wuss that she was. I swallowed. “He didn’t go to jail.”
Adam scowled. “What?”
I swallowed. “I didn’t press charges.”
Silence. He said nothing and didn’t even move. I knew what he was thinking. Because I thought it of myself every day. Coward. Mia is a coward.
“I know you are wondering why…”
He slowly shook his head. “You don’t have to tell me.”
But I couldn’t stop. It was like a valve had swung open on a dam. “I was too scared. He was popular and the quarterback on the football team. Everybody worshipped him. I didn’t think anyone would believe me.” My voice trailed off and I was disgusted by the whining in my own voice. I straightened.
He glanced away for a moment, as if trying to collect himself. “I understand.”
And I knew he did, given his history with being bullied.
I let out the breath I’d been holding. “Thank you for not judging me.”
His eyes fixed on mine again, holding my gaze as firmly as a physical grasp. “I don’t have the right to judge you.”
We sat in silence for a several long, weighted minutes. Then I cleared my throat, gathering courage. “Now will you tell me something?”
He took a deep breath, almost as if he was bracing himself. I had the sudden urge to scoot up next to him. I suppressed it.
“Who is Sabrina?”
He swallowed and looked away. “My sister.”
My jaw dropped. That was so not an answer I was expecting. And I couldn’t describe the reaction welling up inside of me. Surprise, relief, puzzlement. Who tattoos their sister’s name on their chest? “Oh. How cool. I didn’t know you have a sister.”