So, after days of mulling it over, I came to a decision. And while procrastinating making the call to Heath, I happened to log on and find him on the game
*You tell Fragged, “Hey dude, whatcha doing?”
*Fragged tells you, “Killing trolls in the Golden Mountains. This new hidden quest chain is driving me up a tree. Come help me, I need your enchantress. They keep stunning me.”
With a sigh, I complied, running my character over to the nearest magic portal chamber to take her to the location where Heath was tirelessly hacking his way through troll parts to find some small clue to the game’s latest mystery.
*You tell Fragged, “You and everyone else who plays the game. You didn’t try to weasel the secret out of Drake, did you?”
*Fragged tells you, “No. I doubt he’d tell me anything anyway.”
*You tell Fragged, “You sure? You definitely chatted with him for a long time.”
My character was almost to Fragged’s location in the game, at the base of the Golden Mountains, when I got jumped by an aggressive mountain goblin.
*Fragged tells you, “Where are you? I’m up to my asshole in troll guts.”
*You tell Fragged, “I have aggro. Goblin jumped me. I’ll be there in a minute. Oh and by the way, I need you to get in touch with the number two guy in the auction. It’s not going to work with Drake.”
I was just finishing off the mountain goblin, my character at half her full life, when he replied.
*Fragged tells you, “Um. What?”
*You tell Fragged, “Just do it. I’m almost there—shit! Another goblin! Come help me. He has friends and I’m only at half my life.”
I watched as my red health bar—the indicator of my character’s life—started to dwindle. I punched buttons left and right waiting for his Mercenary to show up with his mighty sword so he could stand between me and the bad guys. We spell-casters referred to the big brawny warrior-types as “meat shields” because they stood between us and the monsters while we shot them with magic spells.
*Fragged tells you, “I’m on my way. I strongly disagree, by the way. If you’re going to go through with this, then D. is your best bet. And we probably shouldn’t be texting each other about it in his own fucking game.”
Fragged arrived to save my bacon when I had only a sliver of health left. I backed up, drank a healing potion and punched my highest-level spell, “Bedazzle,” to stun the goblin and his friends. They swayed back and forth with stars in front of their eyes while Heath’s Barbarian Mercenary beat them down one at a time.
“Take that, sucker!” I muttered aloud.
I turned back to my keyboard, quickly typing in my next message to Heath.
*You tell Fragged, “So why do you disagree about calling it off with him and going to the other guy?”
I finished off the second goblin with a lightning bolt and then sent a healing spell to Fragged, who was down to a third of his life.
*Fragged tells you, “Because D. is the best prospect, hands down.”
I gritted my teeth, frustrated.
*You tell Fragged, “Are you saying that because it is in my best interest or because you have DE stars in your eyes? You are hooked on this game and I know that’s what you spent your hours talking to him about—wheedling game secrets out of him.”
*Fragged tells you, “WTF.”
His character, turned to mine and made a rude gesture. In response, I flipped off the screen, though I knew he wouldn’t see it.
*You tell Fragged, “Real mature.”
*Fragged tells you, “I’m not very mature when I’m pissed. If you think, for one minute, that I was putting my own interest ahead of yours, then how can you even call me a friend, Mia?”
*You tell Fragged, “I don’t believe that. I’m sorry. I was mad. Drake pissed me off and it’s not going to work.”
*Fragged tells you, “Stop using his name, goddamn it. Either abbreviate or call me on the phone, and don’t effing insult me.”
With a heavy sigh, I grabbed the phone and called him. He picked up the phone and without a greeting, he said, “Okay, I get it. He came across about as aggressive as a mustang stallion. I have no idea what that was all about but I’m assuring you right now that he’s the far better choice than New York and I’m putting my foot down on this. Now get your ass over to my spot. These trolls are going to take me forever to kill without your help.”
“Heath—”
“No, Mia. If you want to back out with Drake, you are going to have to tell him yourself. I’ll send you his e-mail address. You let him know what you’ve decided.”