“How was your study retreat?” my mom asked when I finally got around to calling her back.
“Oh, it was good. Got a lot done.” Too bad none of it was actual studying, but it had been a lot more fun.
“Am I bringing you back home with me after graduation?”
I sighed. Shit. Graduation was at the end of the week. I’d had the semester off but I was walking with my class and I had done next to nothing to prepare for commencement. “I’d rather follow you up. I want my own car while I’m there.” I tried to figure out how I could get out of staying the full week. I’d already taken off way too much time from my job and was in danger of losing it.
“I’ve got some surprises for you when you get home. I can’t wait.”
I gritted my teeth, but the thought of fleeing all this for a few days and retreating to the comfort of my quiet high desert hometown was oddly comforting.
After the phone call was over, I boxed up everything that Adam had “loaned” or gifted to me. The four dresses and accessories, the smart phone and the laptop. I trashed the underwear, not wanting the reminder that it served.
And with every jerky movement, I could hear the voice at the back of my mind. Sick. Sick. Sick. Despite my reluctance to admit it, Heath was right. The whole thing between Adam and me had been sick. Nothing good could have come from our beginnings. The entire interaction between us had been forever tainted by the now-notorious auction.
I was numb when I went to work early the next morning. My supervisor called me into her office, berating me for missing so much work and putting me on formal warning. In different circumstances, I would have cared a great deal. To lose that job would mean I could no longer afford to live on my own, to say nothing of its value on my résumé. But I was frozen inside. Dead. And nothing seemed to get through but that distant, constant pain. That feeling that something vital was missing.
When I got home from work, Heath was parked at the curb of my apartment complex, playing a game on his iPad. I walked right by his car, pretending not to see him, my grip tightening on my backpack strap.
I continued on when I heard the car door open and slam, when I heard his hurried footsteps behind me. I climbed the stairs and didn’t turn until I’d fished out my key to unlock the door.
“Hey Mia,” Heath said. His tone sounded like he was forcing himself to be casual. I turned and glanced up at him before snapping the door open and walking inside, not bothering to close it behind me.
“Mia…” he began and I dropped my backpack on the kitchen chair and turned to him, arms folded. “I guess this means he told you about the e-mail, huh?”
I tilted my head at him. “What do you want, Heath?”
He blinked at my abrupt manner. “I—I wanted to see if you were okay.”
“You mean you wanted to see if I survived the blast of that bombshell you decided to drop right in the middle of our trip?”
His face crumpled with concern. “Mia…I’m sorry, okay? I thought I was acting for the best.”
“For whose best? Mine? Or your conscience?”
He paused and changed stance from one leg to the other. “I take it he was pissed. He never replied to me.”
I clenched my teeth and walked over to the box I’d packed up earlier. Grabbing a roll of packing tape out of my backpack, I began to seal it up. “Yep. He was pissed. But it doesn’t matter now. It’s over.”
Heath watched me for a long moment and I grabbed a marker and wrote Adam’s name on the side of the box.
“I’m sorry, Mia,” he repeated, folding his hands over his chest.
I shook my head. “Don’t be. It’s how I’d planned it all along.”
“What happened over there?”
I clenched my teeth. “Don’t want to talk about it.”
“Okay.” He shot a wary look at me before nodding to the package. “You want me to drop that off for you?”
“He’s still out of town. You won’t get your tour of the place.”
His face clouded. “He sent you home alone?”
I shrugged. “He still had business in the Caribbean. I had to get back to work.”
“I don’t give a shit about a tour. You aren’t all right, Mia.”
I jerked a hand at him and his eyes widened. “I’m. Fine.”
He held up a hand in surrender. “Okay. Okay. You’re fine. But I’d still like to drop that off for you, or at least drive you over?”
I sighed. I could use the moral support to go into the building, even if I knew Adam wasn’t there. I hadn’t even had the courage to log on to the game since I’d been home.