I hung my head. The nightmare wouldn't end. I would lose him. Lose Sinead. The pain was too great.
"Gia, you're his daughter." Queen Titania's voice was staticky over the hologram. "We must save one of them. Do you agree? It's your choice."
I knew what my answer would mean. That in choosing one, I would lose the other. But I couldn't let them both die. One life. But what would that life be without the other?
You'd lose both. Reason broke through my irrational thoughts. You can save one.
"Remove the bond," I said firmly and assuredly.
Queen Titania nodded to a faery woman in a white jacket with a severe stare. The woman injected Sinead with a long syringe that had a silver liquid inside. I watched as the fluid emptied into Sinead's arm. I wanted to hold her. To tell her I loved her, and that I was sorry this had happened.
"She's gone," the woman said and walked out of view.
I slumped, wailing. Bastien captured me in his arms before I hit the floor. With each sob, pain ripped through my chest.
Deidre. Oh, Deidre. This would be a blow to her. Sinead was her mother. They loved each other deeply. I never had a mother relationship, and I'd been envious watching theirs.
I wiped my eyes with my sleeve. The tears kept coming, and the pain I felt in my chest sharpened.
The Djallican girl bowed her head slightly on her way to the exit. "I am truly sorry for your loss. I wish-" She cleared her throat. "I wish we could've stopped her." I knew her. She had been behind the counter in Asile's basement common room when Arik and I had gone to practice my globe.
Since I was just staring at her and couldn't speak with the emotions gutting my stomach, Bastien answered for me. "Thank you. No one is to blame here. We all tried our best."
No one is to blame? It was as if a black fog hung over me. The voices around me were muffled, and the bodies were distorted by the pooling tears blurring my vision.
She nodded and followed the other guard outside.
"He's improving," the older woman said, checking Carrig's vitals with some sort of clear tablet. "The dagger missed his heart. I believe he'll pull through."
The man beside her turned to us. "We must operate. I'll send for you once we've finished. Please leave us."
We turned to go, and the room felt like it was spinning. Bastien held me, helping me out the door.
No one is to blame? The words stung. But there was someone to blame. I shoved Bastien away from me.
"It's your fault!" The words came out guttural, scraping my throat. "You stopped me. I could have hit her with my globe and you stopped me."
Bastien looked like my words had slapped him. "I'm sorry. I thought-"
"You didn't think! You don't trust my abilities. Because of you, Sinead is dead." I ran from him.
"Gia! Wait!"
I ignored his call, sprinting down the hill. My foot hit a rock, and I crashed to the ground.
"Gia!"
My boot slipped as I scrambled up to my feet. I tore into my tent and paced, my breaths loud and painful, coming quick and hard. Too quick. Panic rose in my chest like bile bubbling up and burning my throat.
"Gia, may I enter?" Bastien's voice came from the other side of the tent's flap.
"Go away."
There was silence and then a deep sigh. "All right. I'll be back to check on you."
I didn't answer him.
The sound of him plodding off caused another sob to rip from my lips. I removed my boots, lowered myself onto the mat, and pulled the covers over me.
I cried until I couldn't cry any more.
Demos pushed open the flap and charged into the tent. "What happened? There are rumors that someone tried to kill Carrig."
I just stared at him.
Bastien barged in after him. "What are you doing in here?" he asked and pulled Demos to the side.
"I heard about Carrig," Demos said.
Bastien whispered a play-by-play of what had happened at the curer's building. Demos's face changed from concern to anger. Tears filled his eyes. When Bastien mentioned that Sinead had died, Demos fisted his eyes and dropped into a squat.
"No," Demos cried. "I'll kill that woman."
"She's gone," Bastien said. "Gia destroyed her with her globe."
Demos looked at me. "I'm so sorry, Gia. What can I do for you?"
"Can you ask Edgar for some Fey Water?" I asked. "I just want to sleep."
"No," Bastien said, stopping Demos before he left. "It's too risky. She's already had a taste of it and could get addicted. Just get ready for tomorrow. We're still going as planned."
Too tired and distraught to comment on what Bastien had said, I tugged the covers up to my chin and turned onto my side.
The flap rustled as Bastien and Demos left the tent.
I cried for a long while before falling asleep. Dreams rushed in and out of the darkness behind my eyes. Faces of my family, friends, and the Sentinels. The first day I met Sinead was so vivid it felt real. I was walking through a corridor in the Asile castle after being drugged. She'd caught me before I fell to the hard floor. She was beautiful with her perfectly angled face, choppy red hair, and pointy ears, her movements graceful.
Would she be mad that I chose to save Carrig? Never, I could almost hear her say.
Wake up, Gia. You are the Assassin of Truths. Show them what they do not see. Show them all.
"Sinead?" I opened my eyes. Bastien held a Mystik Observer in one hand and a cup of something steaming in his other.
"How long have I've been sleeping?"
He folded the paper. "For a long while. It's morning. How are you feeling?"
"I'm okay. Just extremely sad."
"I can imagine." He placed the illegal newspaper on his lap and studied my face. "Can I get you something?"
"No-" My eyes went to the newspaper, and I sat up. "The Mystik Observer."
"Yes." He raised an eyebrow at me. "You want to read it?"
I shook my head, picking it up. "Where do they print this? Do you know?"
The look on his face said he was trying to figure out why I'd asked. "I don't, but possibly The Red does. Do you care to explain what's turning inside that pretty head of yours?"
I glared at him. "Don't call my head pretty."
"You're still angry with me."
It was a statement, so I didn't feel like answering it. "We can use the paper to expose the council's lies and tell the people what they're planning to do."
A smile slowly pulled on his lips as he studied the paper. "That's a brilliant plan."
Someone knocked on the side of the tent.
"Come in," I called.
Demos ducked his head in. "Your nana and Afton just arrived in Barmhilde."
"No. They can't be here. They're supposed to stay in the Fey realm where they'll be safe." I grabbed my boots and shoved my feet into them. "Where are they?"
"With Carrig. He's awake," he said, holding the flap open for me as I charged out. He and Bastien sprint-walked trying to keep up with me.
When I entered Carrig's room, he was propped up against the pillows. Tall glass cylinders glowed red and hummed in the corners of the room. By how hot it was inside, they had to be heat lamps. Afton fed Carrig a spoonful of broth from a ceramic bowl with a chipped lip. Nana sat on a chair beside Afton, saying something to him that I couldn't catch.
Carrig's red-rimmed eyes landed on me. Afton and Nana turned to see what he was looking at.
"Oh Gia," Afton said and placed the bowl on the table beside the bed. Three brisk steps and she had me in her arms. "I'm so sorry. What you went through-had to do-it was awful."
I hugged her back, inhaling the rose scent in her hair. "I'm okay. But why are you here? It's not safe. You should have stayed in the Fey realm." I gazed over her shoulder at Nana. "You both should have."
Nana pushed herself up from the chair. "I'm perfectly capable of taking care of Afton and myself." She hobbled a little as she came over to me. "Now give me a hug."
After releasing Afton, I stepped into Nana's embrace and she whispered against my ear, "You are never to feel guilty about the decision you made. We would have lost them both. The bond Sinead accepted to marry Carrig would never let her live without him."
"Come here." Carrig's voice was hoarse and weak.
I shuffled over to him. He motioned for me to get closer, and I bent over him. It took a lot of effort for him to give me a simple kiss on my cheek, but it meant so much to me. Tears dropped from my eyes and blotted his sheet.
Nana handed me a handkerchief.
"Thank you." I took it and wiped my eyes.
"You aren't to be worrying about me," he said.
With the redness in his eyes and the moisture on his eyelashes, it was obvious he'd been crying. I couldn't imagine what losing Sinead felt like to him. It was a blow to my heart, and it had to be a hundred times worse for him.
When I hadn't spoken, he continued. "You did the right thing. I have you and Deidre. I'll be fine. My love is waiting for me, and we'll be together again one day. Now then, get prepared for what you must do today. Sinead would want us to keep fighting. My apologies for not being able to take up arms with you today."
I dabbed at my eyes again. "You don't have to apologize. I have plenty of fighters going with me."