"I see." He had a point. I untangled my arms from his neck and fell onto my back. My head sank into the pillow, much like my disappointment.
He propped up on his elbow to look at me. "What are you thinking?"
What am I thinking? So many things. How scared I was about the future. How worried I was about Nick. And how frightened I was for Carrig and Sinead.
For a moment in his arms, caught up in his kisses, I'd forgotten all of that.
"Your brow is furrowing." He steepled his hand with mine.
"I'm just tired." I flipped onto my side, my back to him, and nuzzled my hands under my cheek. He scooted up behind me, draping his arm over my body.
"Sleep," he said, his mouth against the back of my head. "I'm here with you."
Moonlight seeped in through the thin membrane covering the only window in the pod-like tent. I watched the many unmoving shadows. Bastien's breath tickled my neck until I finally fell asleep.
…
When I awoke, Bastien was on his back, an arm resting above his head. He looked peaceful sleeping. I pressed my lips against his cheek, a soft and almost unspoken kiss. His dark eyelashes flickered slightly, but he didn't wake up.
I put on my boots, wrapped myself up in my blanket, and tiptoed outside. From the dozen or so fire pits in the camp, thin streamers of smoke rose into the early morning sky. I passed my tent and went to the second one from mine. It took several raps on the flaps of Lei's tent before she answered.
"Good morning, ducky," she said, her eyes taking in my appearance as she worked a braid into her long dark hair. "Why haven't you dressed? We need to get an early start today. Jaran and I will be off after breakfast, and so should your group."
I inspected my blanket-covered body. "I probably need another bath."
"Hmm … you could use the showers. They're heavenly." Lei held the flap open and nodded for me to enter. "What's bothering you that you came in your night clothes?"
"I need help with something." I ducked inside.
She puckered her lips, her head bobbing slightly as she listened to me explain the issues of my newly obtained globes. Her fingers kept weaving her hair into the braid, seemingly without thought.
"What do you think?" I finished. "Can you give me some pointers on how to control them?"
She clucked her tongue and grabbed a hair tie off the wooden table by the bed. After securing the braid, she dropped onto the large pillows in the corner of her tent. "Have you forgotten our globe training with Sinead? It's just as you learned with the pink one. You have to feel it in your core. Go deep inside yourself to pull it out."
I sat down beside her. "I know how to do that, and I've been pulling the globes out of me, but I have no control over which one makes an appearance."
"Oh," she said. "It's like you're a beginner. We have the first years ignite their battle globes by using a charm until they learn how to make them appear at will. It's much like creating a light one."
"The light one has a charm," I said under my breath.
The light one has a charm! Why hadn't I thought of that? I'd also had to speak a charm to create my truth globe before Lorelle, an evil faery, hit me with an ancient spell that destroyed it.
"Do you know any battle globe charms?"
"Yes, it's a formula. It's one of the first things they teach us at the academy." She stood. "Get dressed. We'll have breakfast and then try it out."
"First, I must go to the curers and give them Nana's recipe and my blood before anyone else dies from the disease." My foot was tangled in the blanket, and I stumbled a little trying to get up.
Lei chuckled. "Try not to hurt yourself on the way to your tent."
"Funny. I'll see you in about an hour." I faked a scowl, hiked up the blanket, and shuffled outside.
It was great to have the old Lei back. But I wondered how she was holding up. Undoing the charm that masked her emotions must've forced her to face the pain of losing Kale. I wasn't sure how to ask her about it, and it might make her relive his loss.
After breakfast, Lei took me to a clearing down a hill at the far side of the camp. My arm was sore, the many needle marks angry red against my skin. The curer had a hard time finding a good vein to draw my blood. It was just a matter of time, and the cure would be distributed to the sick in the village. If saving lives was treason in the eyes of the council, I didn't care what the cost, I'd do it again and again and again.
"All right, then," Lei said, turning to face me. "What was the charm you used to create the truth globe?"
"Mostrami la verità," I said in Italian.
"Show me the truth," she repeated in translation. "Interesting. It's nothing like the formula we learned. I wonder if that's because it isn't really a battle globe."
"Uncle Philip told me it wasn't a typical kind. My pink one was more for battles. Since I threw it at the trap door into the Somnium, it's turned into glass."
"That's strange," she said. "How does it work?"
My thoughts went to Veronique and how I'd used my globe on her. "It shatters against things or people, cutting them."
She tapped a finger against her chin. "Oh, that is very strange."
"Where should we start?"
"I suppose we can try the formula," she said. "The first part is accendere il and then you'd just tag on the type of globe you want to call. For instance, mine is lightning, so I'd add fulmine. Make sense?"
"Yeah, I guess so."
Most likely deciding I needed a visual, she held up her open hand and said, "Accendere il fulmine." A bright yellow globe swirled on her palm, bolts of lightning shooting over its surface. Her fingers closed, popping it, tiny sparks zapping the air before fading out. "Now, you give it a go."
Of course, nothing ever came easy for me. It took several hours before I had ignited the fire one by speaking the charm, accendere il fuoco, followed by the ice globe using accendere il ghiaccio.
I held my palm up and summoned the final globe, "Accendere la stun." A purple sphere sprouted from within my palm.
Lei, her arms crossed and her braid draped over her shoulder, nodded her approval.
With each one I created, images of their owners' deaths haunted my mind. Even though none of them would've cared if they had killed me first, I still felt sadness at their loss. The idea that many more could die in whatever battles were ahead of us scared me. There was no avoiding it.
That's what happens during war. And we were at war.
I created the fire globe again and stared at it. "Veronique wasn't a Sentinel."
"You said." Her cold gaze at the mention of Veronique's name could freeze a continent. "I can't believe she fooled us. Being Conemar's daughter explains her evil heart."
The flames swirling in a ball on my palm hypnotized me, my eyes stinging with tears. "I can't get the image of her landing on that sword out of my head. Of it ripping through her chest."
Lei pulled me into a tight hug, and I encircled her in my arms. "As days go by, the memory will fade."
"I hope so."
"Though I wanted to be the one to end her life," Lei said, "to see her eyes glaze over in death, I feel much relief knowing she's gone. It hurts missing Kale. There are times when I hold my breath in hope that I'll never take another one. But I am weak. And I want to live on. To do something good in his name. He believed in you, ducky. His faith never wavered, and he would have gone to the end with you. So I will do it. For me. For him. But mostly for you."
"I don't want anyone else to die for me," I whispered against her shoulder.
"It is an honor to die for a cause," she said, releasing me. "It's getting late. I should take you to see Carrig before Jaran and I have to leave." She locked eyes with me, most likely to emphasize what she was going to say next. "I won't fail you in Asile. We'll get Royston and the others out."
With that, she trudged up the hill to the camp.
Each step up after her was difficult. My feet felt as heavy as my heart. I hated the thought of separating from Jaran and Lei, but Bastien and I had our own mission. After I'd shown him the leather canister I found in St. Patrick's Cathedral, we devised a plan. We had to retrieve blood from the closest living heirs of the original high wizards. With Royston, we had Asile's, but I wasn't sure we'd get the other six.
When we reached the curer's building, the door was propped open, and I went inside. The Red had Carrig moved from the camp to the curers so he'd be more comfortable. It smelled of lemons and fresh cut flowers inside. The walls were a bright yellow, and a large vase with purple asters sat in the middle of a warped wooden table. I stopped in the doorframe of Carrig's room. An older woman with a crooked back rocked in a chair beside him. It seemed like most of the curers I'd met resembled her-old and hunched.
"How is he doing today?" I asked, not sure if I should enter.
She stood and offered me her seat. "Come in, dear. He could use a friendly voice. He's been restless since last evening."
My heart hurt at hearing he hadn't been comfortable. I sat down, and she closed the door behind her. His hand felt cold as I took it in mine.