She took a deep breath, glanced at the sky one last time and turned to go back in the house.
Asmodeus stood not ten feet from her. The sadness that registered on his face brought her to her knees. All she could think was how much her betrayal would hurt him. She wanted to tell him why she had said what she had. She wanted to run to him. Embrace him. But the pain in his eyes slowly dimmed to a dull stare. Then it melted into a look of hate.
No matter what he did, no matter what he said, she would not tell him the truth. She would give him one last night and day away from the Abyss and the torments that awaited him. He deserved at least that.
She wished she could give him more.
His body went cold as he watched Brianna drop to her knees. A look of utter astonishment marred her features, and she brought a shaking hand to her throat. What did she think he would do? Unmercifully cut her down as she would have done to him? Apparently there were creatures prowling this earth that were far more conniving and evil than himself. Because he could never harm her. He could never touch her in anger.
Only she would never know that.
He materialized his sword. He waited for her to back away, to shield herself. Instead she only bowed her head as though she were a sacrifice.
And like a dumb bastard he loved her more.
She would never know that either.
"Even in sleep you wouldn't have taken me. Do you realize that, witch?"
She visibly flinched. "I understand."
So this was what she had hidden from him, and like a dumbass he hadn't detected her treachery. Or had he? Was he so hard up for companionship he had been willing to overlook obvious deceit?
Don't ask her. Don't do it. "Did I mean anything to you?" Goddammit. His voice sounded weak even to his own ears. He wanted to take the words back and cut her down where she kneeled. He had an overwhelming desire to attack her. Hurt her.
She kept her head lowered. "No."
"Very well." He should just let her kill him. The fact that moments before she admitted she felt nothing for him made him weak. Cold.
He had no purpose in this realm, yet for a short time he had felt wanted. Needed. Even now he wanted to go to her and hold her in his arms. Thankfully that need was stronger than the instinct to kill her, which was causing his body to shake from keeping himself from doing so.
"If you come near me for any reason, good or bad, I will cut you down without hesitation."
She gave no indication of having heard him.
"Are we clear, witch?"
She sniffed, her face lowered to the ground. "Yes."
He flashed himself from her house and onto the beach, in the exact spot they had lingered a few nights ago. That seemed so long ago. He remembered how beautiful she was, how sincere she had seemed when she admitted she had feelings for him. And like a fool he had believed her.
Even now he wanted to believe.
He lowered himself to the ground, clenching the wet sand in his palms, digging into the earth. He wanted to kill her. Love her. Heal her. Forgive her.
Goddammit. Get it together. He took deep breaths of cool ocean air. The salty breeze stung his face as he looked at the blackened sky. How many times would fate fuck with him? Someone had to be laughing their asses off at him.
Well, that was just fine. He'd survived much worse. He would survive this as well.
He got up from his pathetic display of self-pity. He still had things to do this night. Walking in the direction of Raum's house, he took the scenic route. He passed a few couples along the way, wishing them the happiness that was denied him. As soon as he wished them happiness, he wished them pain. Death.
Growling, he took off at a jog. Suddenly he wanted to be doing something. Anything but thinking about the witch.
His jog progressed into a run, and in no time he was at Raum's house. He climbed up the stairs in the back of the dwelling and let himself in. He needed to speak with someone. Needed to know why he hurt so badly, though the answer would never come.
When he walked by the guestroom he stopped and had to put a hand on the doorjamb to keep himself upright as he saw the unthinkable.
Kelly was feeding from Raum.
And he allowed it as he wrapped his body around hers. They looked like…old lovers. Her hands clutched him to her, as if she would never let go. He felt as though he were witnessing something private. Sacred.
He backed out of the room. Out of the house.
He let his self-pity hit a new high. He was alone. The feeling settled deep into his gut, making him want to retch.
Sometimes death was preferable. Welcomed.
God, he wanted to belong somewhere. It was a feeling, a weakness he couldn't afford.
And what of the possible offspring he had created with the witch? What would be done about that? She was a healthy female. Fertile. She was likely pregnant. In a few years he would be cutting down his own child. Again.