Ashes(33)

"Stop trying to distract me," Knox gently admonished. He breezed his thumb along her lip. "I know it's been a week since the attack and nothing else has happened, but that doesn't mean we should lower our guard. If it makes you feel any better, I don't think you'll need more than one lesson. As I know from when I was teaching you to fly, you pick things up very quickly. It only took a few lessons before you were flying alongside me without any help. I know you have reservations about calling the flames, but that's a good thing."



She frowned. "How?"



"Calling on them is as serious as anything can be. You should be anxious, and you should be wary of just what kind of destructive power they have. If you weren't, I'd be concerned and disappointed in you."



"I'm not just wary of the flames, Knox. I'm wary of how much my demon likes them. It would have happily annihilated the world because it was pissed off that I'd been hurt. In my opinion, this kind of power shouldn't be placed in the hands of an entity that vengeful." Her demon snarled at that assessment. 



"I'm not teaching your demon how to control the ability to call them. I'm teaching you how to do it. Then, if the situation merits it, you can call on them well before your demon even thinks to interfere."



Harper wasn't warming to the idea at all, but if she wanted to be sure that she wouldn't accidentally call them, she needed to listen to him. She planted her feet. "Okay. What do you want me to do?"



He dropped his hand and stepped back; the carpet of dead leaves crinkled beneath his shoes. "First, I want you to just listen. As you know, my kind can call on the flames of hell because we are the flames. They birthed us, they sustain us, and they protect us. They come to me as easily as the protective power inside your belly comes to you."



"Even when you were a kid?"



"Even then, just like your power to cause pain was something that tried to protect you as a child."



Harper's chest ached at the idea of a little boy being expected to handle that level of power. No adult should be expected to handle it, let alone a child.



"Your wings were, in a sense, birthed by the flames," Knox continued. "As such, they're connected to the flames. The power is there. Ready. Waiting. But you emotionally and mentally reject it out of fear of what your demon might do with it."



Which, Harper thought, made her sensible. "It was scary to be a backseat passenger while the psycho went …  well, psycho. Maybe it wasn't scary to you because you still don't have the sense to fear my mighty wrath." She decided to ignore the gleam of amusement in his eyes. "But it was shitifying for me."



"You think I can't relate to that? My demon has lost control more than once, and I was forced to be nothing but a spectator while it wiped out everything in its path. Neither of us can be sure that your demon won't do the same thing again. But if it can trust that you don't need it to protect or defend you, it shouldn't push you too hard for dominance in a critical situation. And one way to be sure you're fully protected is by conjuring the flames of hell."



She poked the inside of her cheek with her tongue. "I don't think this will be as effortless for me as it is for you."



"Maybe not, but we'll see. Call your wings."



Heat briefly blazed down her back as her wings snapped out. She flexed her back muscles, making them flap a few times. They were heavy, despite being gossamer.



Knox stroked one wing as he said, "They are your connection to the flames. Think of them as the bridge between you and this power that you wouldn't otherwise have access to. As long as the bridge is there, the flames can come to you. Without it, they can't reach you."



"All right."



He began to slowly pace in front of her as he spoke. "Your wings are out. The bridge is there – what happens next hinges on you. The night you called the flames, I tried to calm them. I couldn't, because they weren't answering to me right then. They weren't there for me, they were there for you. They raged out of control, yes, but only because your emotions were out of control."



"You're saying I can control them?"



"Control them? No. You can guide them, ask things of them, even try to direct them. But you can never control them, just like you can never control your demon. It doesn't work that way."


      ///
       
         
       
        



"Bummer."



His mouth twitched. "But if you stay focused, if you channel your emotions into one direction, the flames will do the same." He slanted his head, adding, "Mostly."