Jess froze, thinking of what they'd just escaped. He was shocked to be alive. He wanted to be glad his friends were with him. But all he could think was, This is our fault.
"Jess." He looked up. For a second, nothing made sense to him, not even the face of his own twin . . . and then he flung himself up and embraced Brendan with trembling strength. Which Brendan returned. "You gave me a fright, idiot!"
Jess managed to say, "What else am I for, then?" and tried to wipe at his eyes. His hands felt clumsy, and Brendan drew in a sharp breath when he saw the damage and yelled for a Medica.
"What did they do to you?" Brendan demanded, and his voice shook a little.
"I did it to myself."
"Shoveled burning coals with your hands?"
"I'm all right."
"You're not!" Brendan half snarled. "Medica! Damn you, get your arse over here!"
Medica, not doctor. Back to civilization through the small span of a metal wall. It seemed impossible. He'd started to see Philadelphia as a world in itself. And now it was gone. The Library had ordered it gone, and it was like it had never been there at all.
"Jess?" Brendan was in front of him now, eye level. Frowning in real worry. "Jess! Are you with me?"
"Yes," he said, though he wasn't sure. But things were starting to make some sense again. The tents arrayed around them in a protective huddle seemed familiar. The Library sigil fluttered in gold embroidery on the flags. The company symbol-a cobra coiled around a book-flew just below it to identify whom the tents belonged to. Santi's company. So Jess and the rest had managed to come out among friends-or, more accurately, the friends had managed to position themselves to meet the escape. He should thank Brendan for that. And for many other things. He just couldn't find the energy.
Jess caught sight of a tall woman striding toward them in her crisp uniform, with a shining black cap of hair hugging her face. Startling eyes. He knew the look she threw at Captain Santi, at Wolfe, and at each of them in turn. Not friendly, exactly. Assessing.
"Zara," Santi said, and struggled up to his feet. "Thank you."
She ignored that and focused on the knot of refugees who were still huddled together, Askuwheteau in the center of them. "You asked me to rescue Library personnel," she said. "And you bring them with you? Burners?"
"Innocents," Santi said. "You know they didn't deserve that!"
"All I know is Burners have spat on us and tried to kill us my entire life." Zara's dark eyes were utterly unreadable as she glanced at him, and then she said, "But we can save that particular discussion for later. I thank the gods you're still with us, Captain. And still causing trouble."
"I'm still the captain?"
"Until you say you're not, sir."
He nodded. "Then I'm grateful, Lieutenant. For many things."
Zara transferred her stare back to the refugees. "And what are we supposed to do with them?"
"Can't leave them," he said. "Find them uniforms. I assume you have something appropriate for the rest of us."
"Scholar robes and uniforms," she said. "Though finding anything in the German giant's size will be a challenge."
"He'll make do. He always does."
Jess was watching the exchange for any hint that Zara was about to turn on them, shoot Santi where he stood and announce that the rest of them were facing Library trial. He didn't trust her. Never had, really. But Santi did, and she seemed to be completely loyal again. However improbably.
///
When he looked away, there was a Medica next to him, an older woman with a strong, walnut brown face and easy smile who said, "I understand you've been- Oh, son. That must sting."
He glanced down at the swollen mess of his hands and said, "Some." Better to sound tough than to give way to the emotion boiling inside him. He didn't even know what it was, only that the pressure of it made his eyes water and his breath come short. The relief as the Medica sprayed an anesthetic foam on the skin made him go a little weak, and he felt his brother gripping his shoulder from behind him. Holding him upright, it seemed, and Jess wasn't quite sure when he'd lost balance. "Is everyone all right? Everyone else?"
"No," Brendan said. "Your big friend over there's having his hands treated, too. Santi's moving like he's wounded-"
"He is."
"And your girlfriend isn't in the best shape I've ever seen. Not a one of you looks healthy, by the way." Brendan paused. His voice went quieter. "I've never seen you this thin."