When I stepped back into the living area, Ryder was still in the same spot, just standing there waiting for me, as if he had not even moved an inch while I was gone. I couldn’t stop my feet from crossing to him. My hand slipped into his like it had been made to fit. He led me from the room, silent, his body heat and spicy scent enveloping me as we walked side by side.
I had a lot of things to say and so many things to ask, but for now I was content to just be by his side, holding his hand. Ryder ended up leading me to the elevator, and we descended to the ground level. Stepping through the rubble of the entrance hall, most of the damage from our “car crash distraction” had been repaired, but not all of it. Once we were outside I recognized the place he was taking me. It was that same green area Jayden and I had sat long ago, before the culling, where the ash had attacked us. Ryder and his men had stepped in.
“I never thanked you properly for that day,” I said, breaking the silence. We were outside, standing together in the sun, the thick forest surrounding us. I loved the feel of the warmth on my face, the breeze as it ruffled my hair.
Ryder shifted his head to stare into my eyes, and then he graced me with a full-on grin. My heart sort of stopped, or stuttered at least. Ryder so rarely smiled like that, a true smile. It was all kinds of sexy and beautiful. Who was this new Ryder and could I keep him?
“That first night I saw you in the club, I knew you were trouble.” He turned away again to stare off into the trees. “The days before the culling only cemented my view.”
I barely heard his words over the sound of my heart pounding in my ears.
“You were so stubborn and willful, fighting me every step of the way. Resisting training, resisting killing, even though it was to save your own life. Like I said to you before, watching you fight was torture. Every single second. Knowing you could be culled before I had a chance to discover more of the hidden fire that fills you. Charlie, I have been emotionally dead for a lot of years, doing my duty, fighting the pain of who I am, of what I did. Not allowing anyone in. Well, I’m done fighting it. I can’t with you.”
My breath hitched at his admission.
He reached out, gently tucked a strand of hair behind my ear. “You came along out of nowhere and you completely disarmed me. You made me feel. And now I don’t know what the hell to do about it. I don’t know what I’m ready for…”
I leaned into him, our bodies melting together. His honesty took me completely off guard. “We don’t have to make any rules now, Ryder. You have to find peace about what happened to Molly. Otherwise that is a cloud which will live over us forever.”
I got all brave then, raising up on my tiptoes to press my lips to the corner of his mouth, his delicious scent and taste drawing me in. “This is enough for me, for now,” I whispered against him, and with a groan he yanked me closer, our bodies slamming into each other.
“Never enough with you, Charlie.”
Then he was kissing me, like the night in the karaoke club, but this time tinged with so much more desperation. We had been through a lot since then. That night in the Hive with the Sanctum had cemented the ties between us. Ryder had protected me and I would never forget it. There was a hunger in the way he kissed me, like he would never get enough.
“Is this why you were trying to keep me from coming back to save Jayden?” I asked as we pulled back for air.
His swirling eyes locked in on mine. One of his hands ran up and down my back, as if he just wanted to be touching me. “I was angry with the situation, but also with myself. I knew I should not bring you back to the Hive, but I couldn’t say no to you when you needed me to say yes. I don’t like that sort of weakness. I should always be able to do the right thing, even if it is the hard thing to do. I should be able to protect you and my team without giving in to you just because you flash those gorgeous silver-black eyes at me.”
I smiled, dropping to my feet, my heart still rapid as I tried to adjust to this sudden change in Ryder. He was so open. So free with his words. I wanted more of this. I wanted all of it. But I also understood what he was trying to say.
“You did the right thing, Ryder. Any relationship works two ways. You have to trust I’m strong enough to handle the bad as well as the good. I would rather walk into battle by your side than cower in the car while my best friend is killed.”
He smiled again. “I’m starting to see that, and having you by my side feels right.”
A shadowy figure stepped out of the trees then, and Ryder tensed for a moment before he realized it was a friend, not foe.
“Hey, bro, unicorn, I’ve been looking for you guys.” Kyle loped across to us, all happy and casual-like. He was out of enforcer black, wearing dark blue slacks and a button shirt. It was the most formal I’d seen from Kyle. Even his unruly dirty-blond hair was brushed back, emphasizing the defined cheeks and broad features in his handsome face. “Everyone is gathering in the stadium. It’s time to say farewell to our fallen soldiers.”