As Sure as the Dawn(68)
“We’re so much like Caleb,” she said. “You and I and all the rest of the world. We want to walk upright. We want to run. But we become entangled by our own will. We allow sin to bind us as strongly as any shawl around our son. And don’t we do the same thing he does? Cry out for help, each in our own way? Struggle and fail, in and of ourselves?”
His face was so still and enigmatic, she wondered if he could ever understand what she wanted him so desperately to know. “God lifts us up out of the mire, Atretes. No matter how many times we stumble and fall because of our own foolishness and stubborn will, Jesus is there holding out his hand to us. If we take hold, he removes the sin from our lives and sets us down again on solid rock. He is the rock. And gradually, through his tender mercies, he also transforms us into his likeness and brings us into the throne room of God.”
His expression revealed nothing. Nor did he say anything. Ignoring her, he watched Caleb play for a long time. He didn’t even look at her. She was filled with such frustration that she wanted to jump on him and pound the words through his thick skull.
He lay back in the straw and put one arm behind his head. “Take him and go.”
Letting out a soft sigh, she rose and did as he commanded.
* * *
Far into the night, Atretes lay staring at the beams above him. He had known his silence frustrated her, and frustrating her had given him some satisfaction. Yet her words continued to plague him. And he knew why.
A year ago, a dream had tormented him night after night in the hill caves outside Ephesus. He had been sinking into a bog, about to drown in it, when a man dressed in glowing white appeared. “Atretes,” he said and held out his hands to rescue him.
Both palms had been bleeding.
14
Theophilus came to the inn late that night and called everyone together. When Atretes remained in his booth, he made no comment.
“There’s a ship leaving for Rome the day after tomorrow,” he announced to the gathering. “It’s an Alexandrian freighter, fourth dock from the north end of the harbor. Stevedores are loading her now. I’ve arranged passage for all of us.” He tossed a pouch of gold coins to Bartimaeus. “Dispense the money so that all can purchase provisions for the journey.”
As the others talked among themselves, Theophilus took Rizpah aside. “Walk with me to the gate.” He glanced across the compound to where Atretes sat with his back against the post. The ex-gladiator watched the proceedings with cold intensity.
Tucking his fingers into his belt, Theophilus took out several gold coins. “Since Atretes is too bullheaded to take money from me, I’ll give it to you.”
Rizpah put her hand over his. “I appreciate your concern, Theophilus, but Atretes brought gold with him.”
He hesitated, perusing her face lest it be pride that held her back. It wasn’t, and he nodded. “Enough to get him to Rome anyway,” he said. “He must have left a vast fortune behind.”
“None of it counted against his desire to return home.”
Theophilus’ mouth turned up in a mirthless smile. “Of all the races I’ve faced in battle over my twenty-five years, I found the Germans the fiercest and the most determined to regain their freedom. They are an unrelenting people. The Jews are much the same, but Titus has almost succeeded in exterminating them. Those few who survived the holocaust in Judea have been scattered across the Empire.”
“The hunger for freedom is innate in all men.”
“With godly purpose. The trumpet of Christ blares, and by his grace, I heard. Pray to God that Atretes will also.”
“I do pray. Constantly.”
“No doubt,” he said and touched her cheek.
“Will it cost a great deal to make the journey to Germania?”
“More than he has on him. We’ll learn if he’s wise enough to accept help.”
Rizpah saw him out the gate. As she turned, she came up against Atretes.
“You had a lot to say to one another,” he said, his eyes almost black.
“Theophilus is a friend.” She was alarmed at the wrath she saw in his eyes.
“Your friend, perhaps. Not mine.”
“He could be yours, Atretes.”
“What did he give you?”
“He offered us money to buy provisions for the journey to Rome.” She saw his face harden. “I knew you wouldn’t want me to take it, so I didn’t.”
“I’ll purchase supplies tomorrow morning.”
“He said you haven’t enough to make the journey to Germania.”
“I’ll get what we need when we need it.”
Rizpah was dismayed at his tone. She had no intention of asking how he intended to do that.