She rose and caught up with Caleb again, bringing him closer.
When she came back again, he could see his words were troubling her. “He doesn’t seem to see what he’s doing. Or what’s happening around him. Anomia has such influence over these people. Varus hangs on every word she says. She has no fear of God at all, not even of Tiwaz, whom she worships.”
Theophilus was well aware what Rizpah was saying was true, but he didn’t want to talk about the young priestess.
“God speaks to these people every day. The Chatti are from the same root stock as we are. They’re descendants of Adam and Eve. Look around you, beloved, and rest assured all creation proclaims God’s glory to them. And even when they resist, even when they refuse to see, the Lord gave them another gift besides: a conscience.”
Theophilus leaned forward, intent to set her mind at rest. “Atretes’ conscience knew his inner motives and true thoughts before he was redeemed by Jesus and received the Holy Spirit. No matter how hard he tried to justify himself and his actions, the conscience God gave him wouldn’t allow it.”
He nodded toward the sacred wood. “Have you watched Freyja? Really watched her? She struggles against the forces holding her. She’s troubled by them. There’s no rest for her. Just as Atretes suffered his demons, she suffers hers. His conscience warned him instinctively of God’s judgment and hell to come, just as hers warns her now. His conscience tormented him because he had sinned, just as hers is doing now. Sin produces guilt.”
“But neither of them is responsible for what’s happened to them. It wasn’t Atretes’ fault he was made a gladiator.”
“Everything we do, we do by choice. Circumstances don’t alter right and wrong.”
“They would’ve killed him.”
“Maybe.”
“Maybe? You know they would have, and he’d have died unsaved.”
His mouth curved wryly. “You’ve seen Rolf. I should be dead right now. I assumed I would be dead when I stepped into the circle with him. I assumed it was time for me to die for the Lord. Rolf is younger, stronger, quicker, smarter. I had no shield the night I faced him, and God told me to get rid of my sword. Who prevailed?”
“You did.”
“No, Rizpah.” He smiled tenderly. “God prevailed.”
He took the rabbit from the spit and called Caleb to come eat with him. Rizpah watched him cut the rabbit in pieces and peel some of the meat away from the bone to cool for Caleb. While he waited, he played with the child as easily as he talked with her. Watching the man, her heart swelled with love for him.
Lord, what would we have done without him? Father, we never would have made it if you hadn’t sent him to us in Ephesus. Why can’t Atretes and I be more like him? The evidence of his faith radiates to everyone around him. My faith is paltry at best, and Atretes drives people away. O Lord, what would we do without Theophilus’ wise counsel?
And even as she thought these things, a sharp inexplicable pang of fear struck her.
She could feel the darkness closing in around them, trying to obliterate the light.
38
Atretes left the longhouse, blood pumping hot and fast with anger. If he’d stayed another minute, he would have pummeled his brother and taken on the rest. Let God rain brimstone on their heads! They deserved it.
He saw Marta sitting at her loom across the street and strode toward her. “Have you seen Rizpah?”
“She went along that way,” she said, avoiding his eyes, her face pale.
“Have you been crying?”
“Why would you think that?” Marta said, pushing the shuttle between the threads.
“Because you look it. What’s the matter?”
“Nothing. Nothing’s the matter.” Her hands trembled as she worked the loom. She kept seeing the look on Rizpah face when she’d called Elsa and Derek away. Surprise. Hurt.
She felt ashamed.
“Is she with Mother?”
“No.”
He glanced at her sharply. “Why do you say it like that?”
“Say it like what?” She tilted her head, defensive.
“Don’t take that tone with me, Marta.” Was she going to set herself against him also?
“Why not?” she said, her own emotions playing havoc. “Because you might start yelling at me, the way you’ve been yelling at Varus and Usipi and the others?” She stood up. “Don’t ask what’s the matter with me, Atretes. What’s the matter with you?” She fled into her longhouse, weeping.
He stared after her, baffled and even more frustrated.
“She’ll be all right,” came a sultry voice from just behind him.