As Sure as the Dawn(156)
“I’ve felt that kind of frustration before.” Theophilus grinned. “It was a long road to Germania.”
She smiled. She remembered as well—far better than he—and she didn’t want to see Atretes revert to the kind of man he had been.
Her head was aching. She rubbed her temples again. “It took a miracle to change Atretes’ mind about Jesus.”
“Miracles are happening around us every day, Rizpah.”
She rose, agitated. “You know the sort of miracle I mean. It would take the sun going down at noon to convince these people.”
“Sit,” he said gently, and she did so.
“Atretes hasn’t changed, Theophilus. He’s as angry now as he ever was. I’ve never seen a man so determined to have his way. And if he does, he’ll drag his people kicking and screaming into the kingdom of God, whether they want to be there or not.”
Restless, she got up and turned his rabbit.
His mouth curved in amusement as she sat down again. She was full of nervous energy. If she’d been in the army, he would have ordered her to run it off.
“Do you remember when you told us the Word of God is the sword of truth?” she said.
“I remember.”
“Well, Atretes has taken that to his heart. He slashes at his kinsmen with words. He batters them mercilessly with the truth. The gospel has become a weapon in his hands.”
Theophilus sat and clasped his hands between his knees. “He will learn.”
“After he’s driven these people back into the arms of Tiwaz?”
“They never left.”
“And this will make them want to leave? I fear for all of them, Theophilus. I fear for Marta and the children. I fear most for Atretes. He’s on fire for the Lord, but what of love?” She wondered sometimes if Atretes was more concerned with saving his pride than saving souls.
“What have you to fear, Rizpah?” Theophilus asked quietly. “Do you really think God’s plan will collapse over the frailties of one man’s temper?”
His quiet calm stilled the riotous thoughts whirling in her head.
She knew what he was really asking. Did she believe God was sovereign? Did she believe God had a plan for Atretes and her and these people? Did she have faith enough in Jesus to believe he would complete the work he had begun?
One question stood before her, stark and simple: Where lies your faith, Rizpah? In others? In yourself? Or in Me?
Tears pricked. “My faith is weak.” O Lord, my God, I’m such a poor vessel. Pathetic. Ridiculous. Why do you put up with me?
“You have what God has given you.”
“It’s not enough.”
“Who knows better than God what you need, beloved?”
She raised her face, letting the sun warm her. She wanted to hold onto his words, hold them tight. She lowered her head and closed her eyes. “In the mornings, when we all pray together, Atretes is so calm. He’s happy. In the morning, I believe nothing will stop the Lord from fulfilling his purpose in our lives. I’m filled with assurance and hope.”
She looked at her friend, wishing she were more like him. “It’s later, when I listen to all the angry shouting, that I wonder who’s really in command.”
She looked up at the blue sky and the drifting white clouds. “Sometimes, I wish Jesus would come back now, this minute, and set things right. I wish he’d shake the earth and open all their eyes to Satan’s schemes. Then Varus and Freyja and Marta and all the rest who live in fear of Tiwaz would know.” She thought of the look on Marta’s face. The poor woman was afraid and ashamed. “I wish they could see Jesus and all his majesty and glory coming down from heaven. Then they’d know Tiwaz is nothing. Then they would be free.”
“Not everyone who saw the signs and wonders Jesus performed was convinced he was the incarnate Son of God.”
“Atretes was convinced.”
“Atretes was ready to be convinced. Someone had planted the seed before you met him.”
“Hadassah.”
“He was hungry for Christ. Miracles are no guarantee faith will follow and never more important than the message of salvation.”
“Yes. We wait and hope. And we pray.”
He smiled and said nothing.
She sighed. “Patience has never been one of my virtues, Theophilus.”
“You’ll learn.”
“It’s how I’ll learn that concerns me sometimes.” She gave him a wistful smile. “Don’t you wish Jesus would come back now and save us all this trouble?”
“With every breath I take.”
She laughed. “Thank God I’m not alone. I have an idea. Why don’t we build a house honoring the Lord and go inside and close the doors and never come out again.”