“Wean him. Starting now.”
O God.
“I forgive nothing!”
Lord, please.
She sat weeping in the growing darkness, arms crossed over her breasts, pressing against the pain.
Your will, Lord. Give me the heart to accept your will.
She lit the lamp. Pacing again, she murmured words Shimei had taught her, clinging to them with determination while fighting against the doubts assailing her. “You have plans for me, plans for my welfare and not for calamity to give me a future and a hope. Lord, you found me and restored me. You gathered me to your bosom. You brought me out of the pit.” Tears coursed down her cheeks. “Lord, your will . . . your will . . . Lord . . .”
The door opened.
She swung around as Atretes strode in, Caleb in his arms.
“You’re awake,” Atretes said with a smile, shrugging off a heavy bundle and dumping it on the floor.
Rizpah stared at him.
Atretes looked back at her, his smile turning down in a perplexed frown. “What’s wrong?”
“Wrong?” she said faintly.
“You look . . .” He shrugged for want of a word. “Upset.”
“What’s wrong?!” Her blood went hot. “You take Caleb and leave without a word, and you ask me what’s wrong?”
“You were asleep, and someone had to watch him,” he said with appalling logic. “Here.” He dumped the child into her arms. “He’s hungry.” He headed across the room for the table. “And so am I.”
She stood, mouth agape.
“There’s nothing here,” he said, seeing a piece of stale bread. He glanced back at her.
“Theophilus took the bread that was left.”
“And there’s nothing else?”
“I had no appetite,” she said through clenched teeth, certain she had the strength to kill him with her own bare hands. Shaking with anger, she presented her back to him, sat on the couch, and opened her clothing so that she could nurse Caleb.
“Are you sick?” Atretes said.
“No.”
Atretes frowned. She wasn’t acting like herself and it made him nervous. “I’ll get us something to eat,” he said and went out.
Rizpah didn’t care if he ever came back, and then was afraid he wouldn’t. When he finally did, he brought bread, grapes, two roasted chickens, and two skins of wine and roused her deeper ire with his jovial mood.
“Where’s Theophilus?” Atretes said. “At the baths or the fort with his bloody comrades?”
“Neither. He went looking for you. Again.”
“Where does he think I went?”
“North.”
Atretes stared at her. “North?” He laughed. He laughed harder as he thought about the Roman trying to catch up with him. “North,” he said and broke a chicken in half. How long would it take the Roman to figure out he hadn’t even left Grosseto? Grinning, he ripped off a hunk of meat with his teeth.
Caleb was replete and asleep in Rizpah’s arms. She put him on her couch and covered him with Atretes’ cloak. Straightening, she glared at Atretes, incensed by his mirth. “How can you laugh about it?”
“He’ll have to walk a long time to find me.”
“He was going to get a horse.”
“Riding then. Ha! Even better. I like having plenty of distance between us.” He laughed again and tore off another hunk of meat with his teeth. He waved the carcass, indicating she join him.
She crossed the room, sat down opposite him, picked up the other half of roasted chicken, and debated hitting him across the side of the head with it. “You could have told us,” she said, pulling the leg off instead.
“I said you were sleeping.”
“You shouldn’t have left.”
Atretes’ eyes narrowed. “I don’t answer to you, woman. And I sure in Hades will never answer to him.”
“He’s showing you the way home.”
“Someone else could tell me the way,” Atretes said with a shrug.
“If your insufferable pride would let you ask.”
He froze for an instant and then tossed the chicken onto the platter, good humor gone. “My pride?”
“What was I supposed to think?” she said, anger dissolving into exasperation. “‘Wean him,’ you said. ‘I forgive nothing,’ you said.” She threw the chicken leg at his head. His reflexes were as good as ever, and she missed. She had never seen him look surprised—until now.
“I thought you left and took Caleb with you!” She dissolved into tears. Humiliated by her lack of restraint, she stood up quickly and left the table.
There was a long silence behind her.
“I covered you with my cloak,” Atretes said quietly as though that explained everything.