Artemis(23)

'And with a beautiful princess - a real one, mind you.'

Her speechless admiration made him feel a poltroon. Guiltily he glanced around. 'What o'clock is it, sis? We mustn't be adrift for Nicholas.'

The dancing light faded from her eyes. She looked away, her body sagging.

Kydd felt the cold dread returning. 'What is it, Cec?' he said softly.

'Oh, Tom, I - I feel so dreadful!'

He put his arms around her shoulder. 'Tell me.'

She looked deeply into his eyes as if to spare him what she could. 'It's Father,' she said carefully. 'His eyes are failing.' He sat back, confused.

Brokenly she murmured, 'Tom — how can you . . .' Her hands twisted together. 'When I looked up at that great big ship and saw you there, my heart nearly broke. You looked so — right as a sailor. So handsome! My big brother!' Her eyes filled. 'And now we are asking you to give it all up — Tom, he is making mistakes, the customers are complaining. If the shop fails . . .'

They were asking him to return home, to resume his place behind the counter of the old shop, talking wigs with customers. He gulped, and looked sightlessly out into the night and past the celebrations. His sister gripped his hands in hers until it hurt. Renzi and he would part, he would no longer know his dear friend, who would go on to better things in another world.

'Tom . . .'

It was not her fault: it must have taken real courage to make the journey alone to this notorious naval town, but only now was she understanding the true cost of her appeal. He got heavily to his feet, and balled his fists in silent agony. There was no decision to make. Without him, the family would slide into destitution, the debtor's prison and worse.

'This war, Tom, it's ruinous for the business. Everyone is asking for bob wigs only, and some are even refusing to wear any. It's a new fashion.'

Kydd remembered his father's endless but near-sighted primping and sewing of horsehair at the carcass of full-bottomed wigs, and his retort died before it was uttered. He took a deep breath. 'I have prize money,' he said, but Cecilia cut him off quickly.

'Tom — it's not just for now,' she said firmly. 'You must face it, we need you to provide for us in the future. We need you, Tom.'

'Yes,' he muttered. 'Yes, I know -1 know, I know, I know! damn you!' he choked out in his pain. She said nothing and waited.

He looked up miserably. 'We'll go to Nicholas now.'

The darkness outside was split with bonfires, fireworks and excited people hurrying this way and that with blazing link torches, candles in coloured glass and all manner of festive flame. They trudged silently along the sea-front. The dark offshore shapes of the fleet had needlepoints of light on deck, which Kydd knew were lanthorns strung over the fo'c'sle and quarterdeck. A regular deep thump of minute guns from somewhere out there struck him viscerally.

Kydd didn't notice the gang of rowdies until they had surrounded them both. He stopped, Cecilia gripping his arm apprehensively.

'Dursn't show a light, then?' One swaggered up to him, demanding he show illuminations in patriotic celebration.

They closed in menacingly. 'Tip 'im a stoter, Jem, 'n' then capsize 'im in th' sea!'

'Don't you dare, you ruffians!' shouted Cecilia. 'He's from Artemis and he's been in a terrible battle, you scoundrels.'

They fell back under her anger, and changing tack began shouting, Artemis! An Artemis? Hoisting Kydd up, they carried him shoulder high, cheering and whooping, not noticing the anguish in his face.

* * *

Renzi waited outside the Queen, concerned at Kydd's lateness. When he saw the two come into sight he hailed briskly. Kydd did not respond at first, then he said quietly, 'Nicholas, come walk with me a spell, I have — some news.'

Chapter 4

Kydd slumped back in the coach as it bucketed northward along the London Road. Next to him Cecilia held a small book as though reading, wise enough to leave him to his thoughts. The initial sharp pain had dulled. He knew that Renzi, with his fine logic and learning, would have a philosophy to suit, but in the last few minutes they had spent together, dividing the contents of the sea-chest they shared, it did not seem to be the thing to talk about. It had seemed so casual, the farewell, so matter-of-fact. They had stood in the 'tween decks; there had been a reluctant shaking of hands, a banal comment or two, and then he had turned his back on the only true, deep friend he had ever had.

There would be no problem about his departure — a famous frigate captain like Black Jack Powlett would find a score of volunteers eager to step into his place. He had left without delay, unable to face the leave-taking, letting Renzi tell the others. He hoped he would be missed as much as he missed them. The lump in his throat tightened.

* * *

They drew into Guildford in light drizzle. As he stared moodily from the coach window he saw that the country town had not changed in his absence beyond an imagined wartime unkemptness. They clattered into the old timbered passage of the Angel posting house and finally came to a halt. He handed Cecilia down, ignoring the gaping ostler who had never seen a proper sailor before.