Arrogant Playboy(73)
“You’re not a consolation prize, Carissa. Damn it. We’ve had this talk.” His lips purse, his nostrils flaring as his hands fly to his hips. Jeremiah glances at me one more time, his eyes softening. “Are you happy now, Sam?”
His question is gentle, his expression genuine.
“I just need to know if you’re happy,” he says again.
My hold on Sadie tightens, and I look down to catch the last of her chocolate eyes before she nods off in my arms.
There’s so much more love in my life than I ever expected. My love for Sadie fills my heart so full sometimes, I’m worried it’ll burst. And Beckham. He’s my prickly cactus. The more he refuses to believe he’s deserving of love, the more I want to love him.
I want to love him.
I do.
I see things in him I’ve never seen in anyone before. He’s strong and gentle, protective and loyal. Unapologetic and stubborn.
I could easily love that man, and it could easily be the hardest, most rewarding risk I’ve ever taken. Sometimes I wonder if I’m already starting to fall for him. We’re together almost every day. He’s my label-free version of comfort and excitement.
Thinking about it is dangerous though. The thought of admitting to myself that I’m falling in love with a man who doesn’t want to be loved makes me sick to my stomach.
“Yeah,” I say. “I’m happy.”
“Good.” Jeremiah takes me in like it’s the last time and gives a tight nod. “Glad to hear that, Sam.”
“See you around,” I say.
Reaching for Carissa’s hand, they walk away. There’s a lightness in my chest. I can breathe now.
“What do you say we head back?” I whisper to the sleeping babe in my arms.
***
“Hello, hello?” I push the stroller off the elevator and into Beckham’s foyer. He’s sitting in his favorite wingback chair in the living room. “Surveying your kingdom again?”
He turns, his face lighting when he sees us. Rising, he comes our way and scoops Sadie in his arms.
“Dane and Bellamy go back?” I ask.
“Yeah. They headed to the hotel to pack. Their flight leaves in a few hours.”
“Bellamy’s a sweet girl. I like her.”
Beckham’s head cocks. “Not sure what she’s doing with a guy like my brother, but who am I to judge?”
I bump his shoulder with my fist. “Dane is a good guy. He deserves a good girl.”
“You give him too much credit.” His brows jump. “You give everyone too much credit.”
Watching Beckham cradle the baby and swing her side to side has quickly become one of my favorite things to do. Dizziness rains over me as my heart hammers at the thought of Sadie not being here a day from now.
I’m torn between wanting to spend this final, lazy Sunday with Beckham and Sadie and wanting to give them their own final day together…
Just in case…
“I should get going.” I tighten my purse strap over my shoulder.
He whips his attention my way, face scrunching. “Why?”
“Laundry,” I blurt. “It’s laundry day.”
I cringe, hoping he won’t see through me.
“You should stick around,” he says.
“Yeah?”
“Why are you being so weird?” His full lips curl up, his head angled. “Hang on.”
He sweeps Sadie off, taking her back to her crib and returning a minute later.
“You staying or what?” He points at my feet, which are still strapped into a pair of hot pink running shoes from our walk at the park.
Kicking them off and dropping my bag on the foyer buffet, I say, “Yeah. Sure. I’ll stick around for a bit.”
I follow him to the living room, draping myself across his sofa like I own the thing. Funny how comfortable I’ve become lately, but I almost feel like I live here. At least part-time.
“The court hearing is tomorrow.” His solemn voice breaks my heart.
“I know.”
“I was wondering,” he swallows. “If you’d come along. You know. As a friend.”
Popping up, I turn to him. “Of course. I wouldn’t miss it.”
His face rests in his cupped hand, his stare glazed, gray and despondent.
I go to him, falling to my knees and taking his hand in mine. “It’s okay to be vulnerable sometimes. It’s okay to be scared.”
Beckham smirks, refusing to look at me.
“I’m serious,” I say. “I’m asking you to let your guard down a little. You can be yourself with me. As your friend, I’m asking you to stop being so damn strong all the time.”
Our eyes meet. I’m still on my knees.
“I think we passed the friend stage a while back, don’t you?” His words are hungry and scared and wanton all swirled into one low growl that makes my heart stop cold.