Arrogant Playboy(59)

His right hand grips his cock at the base, directing it toward my slick entrance and pushing it deep inside me. My thighs widen, relaxing, accepting every inch of him. With every plunge our bodies and minds make a silent agreement never to attach meaning to this, never to speak of this.

It doesn’t have to mean anything, not tonight, not ever.

Beckham fucks me harder, each plunge faster and deeper than the one before. Our skin sticks together, our scents mingling.

“Harder,” I whisper.

He needs it.

I need it.

“More…” My fingers get lost in his hair, tugging, pulling, ripping.

My nails drag down his back until they arrive at the curve above his perfect ass. Gripping his hips as he dives into me, I push him deeper.

This…

This is what I’ve been missing my whole life.

A closeness more than words and empty promises and store-bought, clichéd proposals could ever deliver.

“Don’t stop…” I plead as his lips silence mine.

Never stop.

The rhythmic bucking of his hips take us somewhere only we belong, and when it’s all over, he rolls off me. I close my eyes for a moment, just to catch my breath.

When I wake the next morning I’m cold. And alone.





Chapter Thirty-One




BECKHAM



In a moment of weakness, I did what I had to do. It was selfish to charge into Odessa’s room and take her without so much as a single word, but words complicate things.

It was better to take her in silence than to offer her thinly veiled reassurances attached to something we both knew was purely carnal.

I needed a release, a moment of emancipation. She was the only one who could give it to me.

And like a fucking coward, I crept back to my room the second she drifted off.

I shower off as soon as Elizabeth comes for Sadie. A half hour from now I’ll be face to face with Odessa, and if she’s in a mood, she’s going to demand an answer.

Unfortunately for her, I’m in a mood too, and I have no intentions of giving her any answers.

Thirty minutes pass, and I stand before the dresser mirror tying a tie the color of anger. When I emerge from my suite, Odessa stands in the hall, leaning on the wall with her arms folded.

Here we go.

I roll my eyes, shutting my door. “We’re not discussing it. Not here.”

Watery green eyes blink twice, her full lip trembles. “Beckham…”

“It didn’t mean anything, Odessa. You know that.” The words are delivered with as much conviction as I can muster.

“No,” she says. “Your uncle. He passed away this morning. Mathilde just told me. I thought I should be the one to tell you.”

I slump back against the door, fighting every threat of emotion. Life may have bent me, but I refuse to break.

“I’d like to offer to handle the funeral arrangements if you don’t mind,” she says. “You and Dane can tell me if there’s anything special you’d like, and I’ll work with the funeral home. You should be with family, not worrying about floral arrangements and casket colors.”

Her niceness infuriates me, and I’m well aware that I’m the world’s biggest fucking asshole right now.

“What? Are you some fairy fucking godmother all of a sudden?” My neck strains, and I see nothing but red. “Stop, Odessa. Stop trying to be…”

So fucking perfect for me.

“What?” Her eyes stop watering as her face pinches.

“It’s like you’re making me your sole responsibility. Like I need a fucking keeper. Like I can’t handle anything on my own,” I say. “Do you realize how goddamn insulting that is?”

“Beckham.” Her voice is as calm as it is low. “You’re under a lot of stress. You don’t mean any of this.”

I charge toward her, sneering down my nose. The realest part of me knows she doesn’t deserve this. She’s an easy target. She dared to show me kindness, and I’m not exactly myself right now.

Besides, every person who’s ever shown me kindness outside of my brother and Uncle Leo had an agenda.

“I mean it all.” A brilliant heat sears across my rising chest. Breathing in her delicate scent normally brings me down to earth but not today.

She’s on my clothes.

In my lungs.

On my skin.

She says nothing. Her eyes drop to the floor. A second later, she nods and walks away.

I don’t wear weakness well. And I don’t tend to fall apart.

I self-implode.

***

Elizabeth rocks Sadie in a chair downstairs. I check on her one more time before heading out the door. Most of the time I stand back, watching her. I’ve never known affection in my life. My instincts aren’t to kiss the top of her head or let her grip my finger before dashing out the door. But watching her gives me a fullness like I’ve never felt.