I will eventually. When the time is right.
"I-I guess. I mean, if that's what you want." Waverly's eyes turn from scrunched to sympathetic. "You were so quiet at dinner. It's like you don't even like him."
"Of course I like him," I lie. "This is a very big step to take. I take it seriously. It's scary."
"Everything'll be fine." She runs her palm across my arm. "It's all going to work out the way it should. Courting is just … courting. I mean, yeah, it's like a pre-engagement type thing, but you can still change your mind if you're not right for each other. God will show you the way."
If only it were that simple.
"Anyway." I inhale loudly and wipe the anxious look from my face. "I'm going to go wash up for the night. Maybe do my prayers and devotions early. Call it a night."
My sister carries on, hopping down the stairs, and I make a beeline for the bathroom. I wash Cortland off of me. My hands, my neck, my face.
After changing into pajamas, I crack open my laptop. Everything on here is filtered by some Christian software my father installed the day he gifted me with this machine. The only reason I got it was for school, and I'm shocked he hasn't take it away. I try to keep it out of his sight, so as not to remind him I still have it.
I type in Careerbuilder.
BLOCKED.
I go to Jobdig.
BLOCKED.
My father blocked every website that wasn't related to our faith or wasn't connected to the school library or email system or research journals. I can't even use a search engine.
I pull up my school email and stare at a blank message as I rap my fingers across my mouth.
I whip up a generic email asking for job search leads and BCC a handful of old instructors, but the second I send it, I realize I'd forgotten my favorite marketing guru.
Professor MacAbee.
A jolt of hope shocks my heart into a rapid beat. I double-click an old email from him in my inbox and type up a quick note.
Hi, Professor,
How have you been? I'm glancing at an old email of yours from the last day of Marketing 275, and I saw that you mentioned knowing of some available jobs in the area? I know it's been several months, but I was wondering if those positions might still be available?
I'm in desperate need of a job right now, and I'll take anything.
Thanks and hope all is well.
Bellamy Miller
I give it a quick read and press send, chewing on the inside of my lip as I wait for a response. If he's anything like he was last semester, he should be glued to his email. Every message I ever sent him was returned almost instantaneously.
With each refreshing of the page, a small part of me sinks when I don't see a new email pop up. Only when I push my computer aside a few minutes later, do I hear a faint chime. Dragging it back to my lap, my breath hitches when I see Professor MacAbee's response.
Bellamy! All is well here. Good to hear from you. I'm sure you're enjoying your permanent hiatus from my lectures, though I have to wonder if you miss my pop quizzes!
One of my old colleagues is looking to hire a bunch of college grads for some simple office work. The job is in Salt Lake City, but I know he'd give you an interview if I threw a personal recommendation his way. Give me a day or two to get this all set up, and I'll shoot you an email with the details.
Ciao,
Prof Mac
My mouth pulls wider than the Grand Canyon as I shut down my laptop. I knew he'd come through for me.
And that's how it's done.