I wadded up a bunch of toilet paper and wiped at my face. I dropped it in the bowl and flushed. As I left the stall, I met my gaze in the mirror, cringing at the sight of my red-blotchy face under the harsh florescent lights. No way was I going back to class.
Leaving the bathroom, I walked to my locker to get my backpack from where I’d stashed it before lunch. On my way out of the school, I passed Ms. Schilton, my freshman English teacher. She opened her mouth as if to ask for my hall-pass, but something in my expression must have warned her to back off.
When I got in my car, I turned the ignition and let the engine idle. Where would I go? It was too early to go to the shelter. I didn’t have to be there until four. No way was I going home. A note from my mother left on the kitchen table this morning told me that the cleaning lady was coming in, and I should gather up my laundry. The last thing I wanted was to have my pity party interrupted by some stranger vacuuming my bedroom.
I put the car in gear and drove out of the lot. Without really thinking about it, I found myself pulling up in front of Jinx’s house. As I walked up her sidewalk, she opened the door for me.
“Must’ve heard me coming, huh?” I said with a forced, humorless laugh.
“Oh, honey, what happened?”
I flopped down on her couch, not bothering to move the newspaper that was left there. The dog yipped and cuddled next to my feet. I wanted to tell her, but my mouth refused to form the words.
“Oh, no!” Jinx exclaimed sitting down beside me. “He has a girlfriend?”
“Well, that’s one benefit of having a friend who can read minds,” I muttered. I reached down to pet the dog. He snuggled in closer, laying on top of my sneaker now.
“That makes no sense. You should have heard his thoughts last night. He was so into you! And that kiss…”
“You eavesdropped on our kiss?” I stared at her wide-eyed.
Jinx fiddled with clasping and unclasping her charm bracelet. “Well, it was hard not to. You two broadcasted your thoughts so loudly.”
I wanted to be mad at her for invading my privacy, but who was I to judge? I’m sure people wouldn’t like knowing that I could read their emotions either.
“So, are you going to tell me what he was thinking about?” I asked.
Jinx shook her head. “No way. I learned a long time ago to keep the details of people’s thoughts to myself. Let’s just say he wasn’t thinking about anyone but you.”
I wanted to press her, but I understood she was trying to respect Bryan’s privacy. What would it matter anyway? He has a girlfriend, so it’s not like I have any future with him now.
“What’s your dog’s name?” I asked as a way to change the subject.
“Pavlov.”
“Nice.” I scooped Pavlov up and hugged him to my chest. He wiggled and wagged so excitedly you’d think he’d just won the lottery. “He’s a Pomeranian, right?”
“Pom-Poo…half Pomeranian, half Poodle. So how was school today? I don’t mean the Bryan stuff...I mean the empathy.”
I set the dog down and watched it trot off toward his leopard print doggie bed. “It’s still really annoying, but I think I’m starting to understand it a bit more.”
I filled her in about my experiment at the pizza parlor. “I figure my range is about ten feet. I also notice that the sensations are more intense if I’m touching a person.”
Jinx nodded. “That happens with me too. When I make direct contact, it’s like tuning a radio and all of a sudden you hit the perfect frequency. That one message is so strong that it blocks out the messages from everyone else around me.”
From the pocket of my jean jacket Florence Welch sung out. I fished my mobile out and checked the caller ID. It was Bryan. Lit class just got out. My finger hit the button to silence the ringer without answering.
“Not going to talk to him?” Jinx asked, a wrinkle of disapproval forming between her brows.
“No, he can wait. I just don’t want to think about him right now.”
She sighed. “Okay, then, how much time do you have? We could work on teaching you how to create blocks to keep emotions out if you want.”
“Sure, I have two hours before I have to be at work,” I replied.
“I’ll go get us some sodas and then we’ll get started,” she said patting my knee as she bounced off to the kitchen.
A short vibration buzzed from my phone, indicating a text message. I peeked at the screen.
“WE NEED TO TALK.”
I ignored it. I knew on some level that I was acting childish. It’s not like he’d been my boyfriend or anything. He could go to the stupid dance with anyone he wanted. It’s just that I really thought he liked me. Now, I had to wonder whether he was just being nice to me because Lony died and he felt sorry for me.