Might as well get used to not having him in her life, since it was going to be the reality soon enough.
It wasn't until she on the second last step that she registered the man sitting against her apartment door. Eddie rose to his feet as she stepped onto the landing, brushing the seat of his pants. The expression on his face was a perfect mix of hope, trepidation and concern, and her heart squeezed in her chest so painfully that she actually lifted a hand to her sternum.
It hit her then, with the undeniable force of a freight train - there was no way she could walk away from this man and his love, not while she was still breathing and her heart still pumping. Not while the earth still turned and the sun still shone. She might be terrified of loving him, but standing in front of him, her heart thrashing around her in her chest like a wild thing, she understood that that ship had sailed a long time ago.
She loved him, so much, with everything she had, and it was suddenly blindingly clear to her that running away wasn't going to protect her from the hurt she'd feel if she turned her back on that love. He already owned her heart. There was no turning back for her, no running away.
She took a step forward.
"Have you been waiting long?" she asked.
"About ten years, give or take," Eddie said.
"Me, too. Funny about that."
Her hand was still on her chest and she could feel her heart pounding away like she'd just run the race of a lifetime. In a way, she realized, she had.
"I can wait," Eddie said, the words bursting out of him in an endearing rush. "If you need more time, if you want to take things more slowly, I can wait. As long as it takes. Whatever you need."
She took another step forward, fear and excitement making her dizzy.
"I don't need more time," she said. "I only need you."
She saw comprehension wash over him, saw the relief in his eyes before he closed them briefly, as if he was offering up a silent prayer of thanks. Then she was in his arms, and he was holding her so tightly she couldn't breathe.
"Say it again," he said.
"I need you."
"God, I love you."
"I love you, too, Eddie." The words felt strange on her tongue. Funny, when she'd said them in her heart and mind so many times.
His hand cupped the back of her head, pressing her close to his chest.
"I shouldn't have pushed you. I was trying to be patient."
"I'm glad you pushed me. I needed to be pushed."
"You're sure?"
"Yes. Very sure."
She'd had ten years to think about it, after all. Ten years of yearning. Ten years of lust. Ten years of secret, hidden hope.
And ten years of fear.
She pulled back a little so she could see his face.
"You might have to bear with me sometimes. Talk me down. Pick me up."
Eddie's hand cupped her face. His thumb brushed her cheek as he looked into her eyes. He was so goddamned beautiful, and the way he was looking at her, the love and heat and warmth in his eyes …
"Whatever you want, whatever you need, I'll be here," he said.
"Does that start now?" she asked.
"Absolutely."
"Then I want to be naked. And I want you inside me. I want your arms around me."
His expression became intent, focused. "Consider it done."
He kissed her then, the force of his passion tilting her head back. She took everything he had to give and more, her fingers digging into his back and shoulders as she clung to him with everything she had. This man drove her wild. He made her want so many things. He scared her. He inspired her.
And he was all hers.
"Take me to bed, Eddie," she told him.
Clever man that he was, he didn't need to be told twice.
Epilogue
SIX MONTHS LATER
"Wow. This is awesome. Thank you so much." Blue caressed the glossy art book she'd just unwrapped, a goofy, pleased smile on her face as she looked at Renarto and Yuri. "Thank you so much, guys. I freaking love it."
She was seated on the couch, a bottle of beer on the coffee table in front of her, surrounded by a colorful sea of discarded gift wrap. Watching from his perch on the arm of the couch, Eddie tried to school his expression into something other than ‘besotted lapdog, a description that had been thrown his way more than once in the past six months by his oh-so-respectful employees.
It was hard not to look besotted when he was around Blue, though, because he was. Unashamedly so. She was the hottest, smartest, feistiest woman in the room, and he knew exactly how lucky he was that she was his.
Her mouth still curved into a huge smile, Blue set the book down amongst the pile of other gifts she'd accumulated during the past half hour. Eddie's fingers curved into his thighs as she ran her hand over the new dressing gown Steffi had given her, the earrings Lena had sent from New York, the selection of gourmet chocolates Corey had given her. Her head was downturned, but he could feel how much this meant to her, how much she was enjoying being the center of attention at the first birthday party she'd had in twenty-four years.
He slid off the arm of the couch and pushed aside the wrapping paper so he could take the seat beside her.
"How you doing?" he asked, reaching out to rest a hand on the nape of her neck, because it had been ten minutes since he'd last touched her and he needed his Blue fix.
"Good. It's kinda cool being queen for the day," she said.
The look she shot him was endearingly sheepish. It didn't surprise him that she was finding it a challenge to accept everyone's good wishes and gifts with equanimity. Blue didn't mind mouthing off when it suited her, but she still had her training-wheels on when it came to being loved and feted.
"Get used to it, babe."
She turned her head, pressing a kiss to the inside of his wrist. The look she gave him went straight to his groin, it was so filled with heated promise.
"Don't get the engine started if you're not going to follow through," he said.
"What makes you think I'm not going to follow through?" she asked.
He leaned closer and kissed her. She tasted like beer and sunshine, and he was powerless to stop himself from deepening the contact.
"For God's sake. Maggie, go get the garden hose," Raf said.
Eddie took his time breaking the kiss. He and Blue had endured plenty of inappropriate displays of public affection when Maggie and Raf first started dating.
"Sorry, did you say something?" Eddie said, cocking an eyebrow at his brother.
"Your fly is down," Raf said dryly.
"Dude, yours has been down for nearly two years," Eddie said.
Blue's glance went from him to Raf and back again. "This is one of those private jokes, right?"
"They're talking in twin code. It's like Jodie Foster in that movie," Maggie said, a mischievous glint in her eye.
"Right. The one where she grew up in the woods and can only talk in twin-speak," Blue said, nodding as though she and Maggie were having a serious discussion.
Eddie grinned, loving the way Blue always gave as good as she got. Life with her was never dull, that was for sure.
"Happy birthday," Maggie said, handing Blue a colorful gift bag. "If you hate them, we can exchange them for something else. I'll be heartbroken, of course, and deeply insulted, but don't let that stop you."
"Cash would have been fine," Blue said, absolutely deadpan.
"Noted for next time," Raf said, a fond smile on his face as he watched Blue pull what looked like a shoe-box from the bag.
"Okay, this is interesting," Blue said, shooting Maggie an uncertain look.
Maggie simply waggled her eyebrows mysteriously. "I wonder what it could be?"
"I know I'm sitting on the edge of my seat," Eddie said dryly.
Blue shot him an amused look before lifting the lid, revealing a pair of dark brown motorcycle boots with three buckles down the side. She gave a soundless gasp.
"Tell me these are not Fiorentini and Bakers," Blue said, giving Maggie a wide-eyed, incredulous look.
Maggie simply looked smug. "I told you you were going to get it when your birthday came around."
Blue shook her head, a frown on her face. "These are too much, Maggie."
"We figured we had a lot of birthdays to make up for," Raf said easily.
Blue stared at him, then she glanced down at the boots, blinking rapidly. Eddie rested his hand on her back.
"Suck it up, babe. We all love you," he said.
She glanced at him, her eyes full of tears, and he realized she was close to losing it.
Typical Blue - she could handle any amount of hardship, but kindness unravelled her every time.
"Try them on, make sure they fit," Maggie said.
"Good idea," Blue said.
Keeping her head downturned, she concentrated on unbuckling one of the boots. Eddie shot Maggie a grateful look, which she acknowledged with a small smile.
Blue tugged off one of her well-worn black boots and wriggled her foot into the new one.