"Well … good." Raf turned back to his paperwork.
"Why?" Eddie asked, sensing his brother was self-editing.
"Nothing."
"Come on, man. Don't make me use the twin powers."
"It's tougher than you think, being with someone who isn't fully committed. All the things you can't say or do … It gets to you eventually. At least, it did to me."
Eddie knew Raf was talking about Lena, and he knew his brother was probably right. But it wasn't as though Eddie had a Plan B here. He'd tried being direct with Blue, but she was way too guarded, too used to protecting herself at all costs.
The way Eddie saw it, he had no choice but to simply hang in there and hope that he could wear her down. Otherwise … He was in so deep now, and so close to what he really wanted, he didn't even want to contemplate the alternatives.
Maybe that made him a delusional optimist, but so be it.
Chapter Twenty-One
Just over three weeks later, Blue woke to the sound of a toilet flushing. She lay blinking at Eddie's ceiling for a full twenty seconds before it hit her that there was sunlight filtering around the edges of the curtains.
Damn it, she'd accidentally stayed the night.
She threw back the covers as Eddie sauntered back into the bedroom, arms stretched wide as he yawned. The posture did amazing things for his six pack, and she forgot to do anything but stare for a beat.
"You want coffee? It'll take a few minutes for the machine to warm up but it shouldn't be too long," Eddie offered.
She glanced at the tangle of clothes on the floor, a mixture of his and hers. She should go. She shouldn't even be here in the first place. She'd already stretched the once-a-week rule several times, now she'd stayed the night.
Eddie must think she was a hypocrite of the highest order.
Or a pushover.
She wasn't sure which option she preferred.
"You got somewhere you need to be?" Eddie asked, walking around the bed and stopping in front of her.
She had to tilt her head to look him in the eye when he was this close.
"No."
"Then stay. Let me make you breakfast."
He wrapped his arms around her, pulling her against his bare chest, and the easy warmth and affection behind the gesture almost did her in. She rested her hands on the smooth planes of his back and let herself enjoy the small moment.
"Okay," she said. "Breakfast sounds nice."
"You want pancakes or eggs?"
His voice rumbled through his chest, and she turned her head a little so she could breathe in the smell of his skin.
"Surprise me," she said.
His hands slid from her back to her ass, and the next thing she knew he was lifting her to his level while he kissed her. She laughed into his mouth, and he laughed, too, before things got serious between them.
After a minute or so he broke the kiss and let her slide back down his body.
"All right. Pancakes or eggs. Gentleman's choice," he said.
Her gaze dropped to his erection. It seemed a terrible shame to waste something so fine, but Eddie simply turned away and grabbed yesterday's jeans before stepping into them.
"Can I help with anything?" she asked.
"Sure. Come and keep me company."
She found her panties and yesterday's tank top from the mess on the floor, then lingered to quickly make the bed and fold their clothes before following him into the kitchen. She couldn't help thinking of Maggie as she pulled out a stool and sat at the counter. Her friend would be punching the air if she was could see this scene, Blue suspected. They'd had exactly one conversation on the subject of Eddie since the "arrangement" began, but Maggie had made her feelings abundantly clear - she thought Blue "giving Eddie a chance to prove himself" was the smartest thing Blue had ever done.
For her part, Blue thought her friend's romantic idealism knew no bounds. This arrangement with Eddie wasn't the start of something, as Maggie so clearly believed, it was the end of everything. But Maggie would realize that soon enough, Blue figured, when things went south with Eddie.
Any day now.
"You want normal or cinnamon pancakes?" Eddie asked, looking up from cracking eggs into the batter he was making.
"Normal is perfect, thank you." She watched as he whisked the ingredients together with elegant economy. "You know you can buy a mix, right? In a little jug that you just shake?"
Eddie shot her a look, laughter in his eyes, even though his mouth wasn't smiling.
"Too obvious, Sullivan," he said, letting her know he wasn't going to respond to her bait.
She planted her elbows on the counter. "So, what are we having with these pancakes?"
"I've got maple syrup, berries, lemon curd, or ice cream. Name your poison."
"Um … all of the above?"
They continued to amuse each other as Eddie poured the first round of pancakes into the frypan.
"You want to keep an eye on these while I fire up the coffee machine?" Eddie asked.
She slid off the stool and rounded the bench, taking the spatula from him and moving into position in front of the frypan.
"You should probably still supervise. I'm great at burning stuff," Blue said.
"I know. I'm keeping an eye on you, don't worry."
There was something in his tone, and when she glanced over her shoulder he was unashamedly staring at her ass.
"What? You want a piece of this?" she asked playfully, sticking her backside out and wiggling it.
Eddie set down the bag of coffee beans he'd been about to pour into the grinder and headed her way.
"Yeah, I want a piece of that."
She howled with laughter when he sank to his knees and gripped her hips, holding her still as he sank his teeth into her ass cheek.
"Ow, that hurts," she protested.
"Faker," he said, and he bit her on the other cheek, too.
"You are in so much trouble, Oliveira," she said, pointing the spatula at him. Then she realized she was holding the perfect torture implement in her hand.
"Come here so I can get all fifty shades on you," she said, swinging the spatula through the air fast enough to make it whistle.
"Like I'm going to walk voluntarily into that trap," he said.
She pounced on him, and they wrestled for control of the spatula, bodies pressed against one another. It wasn't long before wrestling turned into something else. Eddie was kissing his way into her cleavage when the smell of burning pancakes made them both turn toward the stove.
"Damn," Eddie said, and she could see from his frown that he was genuinely annoyed. He prided himself on his cooking skills.
She pressed a quick kiss to his chin. "My fault," she said.
He looked at her, the frown quickly fading from his face. "Yeah, it is your fault. You're too distracting."
Warmth bloomed in her chest, sparked by the heat in his eyes and the rough emotion beneath his words. For a second - a heartbeat - she let herself believe that this was real. That he meant it when he said beautiful things to her. That the future he'd sketched for them might be possible - her and Eddie, together. No rules. No limits. No expiry dates.
For a tiny moment out of time, she allowed herself to believe that she was special, that she would be the one woman who Eddie didn't leave.
Suddenly her chest was so tight she could barely breathe. She took a step backward.
This was the danger of spending too much time with Eddie - she started to believe in things she had no business believing. She started to yearn for the moments when he snaked his arm around her waist in bed and pulled her back against his chest, and to seek out opportunities to make him laugh.
This is Eddie. Never, ever forget that.
"Maybe I should do the coffee and you should handle the pancakes," she said.
She gave him the spatula and collected the bag of beans from where he'd left them on the counter. While he threw out the burnt pancakes, she made a mental list of all the women who had been through the revolving door to Eddie's bedroom. By the time she'd extracted two cups of coffee, the list in her head was long enough to be not just sobering but downright grim.
Eddie had walked away from dozens of women - or pushed them away. Unlike Raf, he'd never had a Lena in his life. As she'd told Maggie, his longest relationship had lasted just six months.
No matter how good it was between them, no matter how he looked at her sometimes, or the way he held her, she needed to remember that it all meant nothing in the big scheme of things. This was simply how Eddie operated with women, and she would be nuts if she started reading anything into it.
This wasn't special. She wasn't special. This was simply what Eddie did.
Give Eddie a chance to be something other than what you think he is. Give him a chance to surprise you.
Blue stared at the dials on the espresso machine as Maggie's words echoed in her mind. Only a woman who read Regency romance novels and believed in real life happy-ever-afters could be so damned naive and hopeful.