Anticipation(4)

Eddie washed his hands and followed the woman into the recovery room,  passing three beds before they arrived at the one containing a small,  blue-haired figure. Seeing Blue laid out so helplessly, a tube snaking  from her arm to a drip, her right calf heavily bandaged, was like a  punch in the gut. She was incredibly pale, the colorful fairy tattoos on  her arms and chest and the bruises on her face standing out starkly  against her skin.         

     



 

"Five minutes," the nurse said before walking to her station.

Eddie moved closer to the bed, reaching for the hand free from the drip.  Blue's touch was reassuringly warm, and his shoulders dropped a notch.

"Didn't anyone ever tell you to look both ways before crossing the road?" he said quietly, his voice thick with emotion.

Her eye socket was a deep purple, and a dressing covered her temple. His  stomach twisted as he remembered how bloody she'd been when he'd fallen  to his knees beside her on the road. The paramedics had said more than  once that her denim jacket and leather jeans had saved her from more  brutal injuries, and he saw that her other hand was brown with  antiseptic where they'd cleaned the road gravel from her palm.

A wave of queasy dizziness hit him, driven by a visceral awareness that  someone he loved was in pain. He bowed his head over their joined hands,  breathing deeply, trying for the second time tonight to contain  himself. When the dizziness had settled, he lifted his head and gazed at  her face once more, consciously absorbing the fact that she was warm  and alive and breathing. The bruises would fade, the broken bones mend.  She would continue to blaze her trail through the world, a five foot  tall warrior woman with bright blue hair and attitude to spare.

"Thank you," he said, pressing a kiss to the back of her hand. He wasn't  sure who he was thanking - the universe, maybe - but he understood  exactly how lucky they'd all been tonight. "Thank you."





Blue woke slowly, first becoming aware that her bedroom was too bright -  she must have forgotten to close the curtains last night - and then  that there was too much noise. Then the pain hit her - a bone-deep ache  in her leg, a burning sensation in her hand, a stab of hurt when she  tried to frown.

She dragged her eyes open, blinking in bemusement at the bright white  ceiling overhead. A vague memory pressed at the back of her mind.  Something bad had happened. Something terrifying and unstoppable.

She opened her mouth to call for help, but her throat was so dry she could only produce a tortured croak.

Suddenly Eddie was there, filling her vision as he leaned over the bed, his hand finding hers on the bedcovers.

"It's okay, coração. You're okay. You're in hospital. You're a bit banged up, but you're okay."

She stared up at him, unable to fully comprehend what he was saying, but so grateful he was here.

And then she remembered.

Maggie's party. Fighting with Eddie. Walking across the road. The roar of the motorbike.

The split-second of pure, ice-cold fear as she'd understood what was going to happen to her.

"Don't cry, coração. Don't do that to me," Eddie said, but she was powerless to stop the hot tears sliding down her cheeks.

She gripped his hand as tightly as she could, needing his strength to anchor her.

"I thought I was going to die," she whispered, staring up into his face.

"You are not the only one." His accent was thicker than she'd ever heard it, his forehead creased into a deep, pained frown.

She couldn't seem to stop the tears, and after a moment Eddie swore  quietly under his breath. The next thing she knew he was on the bed  beside her, his arms coming around her as he cradled her ever-so-gently  against his chest. She breathed in the smell that was uniquely Eddie -  clean clothes, warm skin, traces of aftershave - her good hand clutching  at his shirt, and allowed herself a small moment of weakness.

"I've got you, Blue. I've got you," he said, and it was exactly what she wanted - needed - to hear.

He kissed her forehead, and she ducked her head beneath his chin and  pressed her face against his neck. She could feel his pulse against her  cheek, and the rough rasp of his beard growing in. For a few precious  seconds it was the safest place on earth.

She closed her eyes, savoring the moment, but as her brain came back online, it started hitting her with fragments of memory.

A flash of someone - a stranger - in a paramedic's uniform leaning over her, asking if she knew her own name.

Someone repeatedly insisting that she remain awake.

Bright lights.

And pain - or, at least, the memory of it - burning along her nerve endings, stealing her breath.

And, most disturbingly, that moment, over and over, when she'd stared in  frozen horror at the headlight coming toward her and understood,  absolutely, that she would never know what it was like to make love to  the man who was now holding her in his arms, to have him inside her, to  know him the way she'd always wanted to know him. That her chance to  love and be loved by him was gone, forever.         

     



 

She lifted her head, pulling away from him. Confused and confronted by the images and memories and thoughts pummeling her.

"Am I hurting you?" Eddie asked.

"A little."

He released her immediately, as she'd known he would, easing away from  her and sliding off the bed. The relief she felt was indescribable. As  lovely as it was having him hold her, it scared her how much she wanted  it, how weak she was feeling. She'd always been so clear about what she  wanted from him, about who he was and who she was. But that remembered  moment of regret …

It was profoundly unsettling to realize that her - potentially - last  mortal thought had been about what could have been, if she'd been brave  enough to go there. It overturned everything she thought she knew about  herself.

"You want some water? They said you'd probably be thirsty when you woke up," Eddie asked.

"Yes, please."

She watched as he poured her a glass from the jug beside her bed, taking  note of his five o'clock shadow and wrinkled shirt and jeans. The same  clothes he'd been wearing at Maggie's party.

"What day is it?" she asked.

"Monday morning. Early."

Maggie's party had been Saturday night, which meant Blue had lost a  whole day and a bit. Eddie handed her the glass, then helped her sit up  enough to swallow. The movement made her ribs and belly ache, and she  let out a little gasp, almost dropping the glass. Eddie's hand was there  to steady hers, his green eyes dark with concern.

"You okay? Need me to call a nurse?"

"I don't think so. It just hurts."

"You've got some busted ribs and a lacerated liver."

She blinked, taking it in. "Is that all?"

"Concussion, bruising, and a broken leg."

"No wonder I feel like shit." Another thought occurred to her. "How's the other guy?"

"Fine. Barely a scratch. The police are talking to him."

"It was my fault. I should have crossed at the lights."

"He was speeding. He came out of nowhere."

Eddie raised the glass to her lips and she took two grateful swallows before he eased it away.

"I'm not done," she protested.

"They said you need to take it easy at first."

Normally, she would have argued with him, but her body felt heavier than  lead, and suddenly it was impossible to keep her eyes open. She sank  onto the pillows, her good hand tugging feebly at the covers. Eddie  pulled them up for her, and she struggled to stay awake to thank him.

"Go to sleep, coração," he said gently.

She wanted to, so badly, but her mind wouldn't let go until she'd  puzzled something out. Her Portuguese was limited to a handful of words -  most of them rude - courtesy of her time spent with Rafel and Eddie.  She'd heard both Eddie and Rafel say coração before, and suddenly the  translation came to her: sweetheart.

He'd called her his sweetheart, more than once.

Puzzle solved, she let sleep take her.





Chapter Three

[Eddie waited until Maggie came to relieve his bedside vigil before allowing himself to leave Blue's side.

Blue was okay, and he knew he'd be good for nothing if he didn't get a  shower and some sleep. He'd been running on vending-machine coffee for  more than twenty-four hours now, and the need to lie down was dragging  at him.

There was one task he needed to do before he hit the sack, though.  Tooling through the early morning streets, he made his way to the ugly  red-brick apartment block that Blue called home.

They both had spare keys to each other's places, just in case, but he'd  never had reason to use his before. It took him a few seconds to  remember the security code at the entrance to the building, and he  climbed two flights of stairs to her level before letting himself into  her apartment. It was overcast outside, and the interior was dim enough  that he reached out to flick on the lights.

Her place was small - one bedroom, with one living space, one bathroom  and a small kitchen. She'd been here for a couple of years, even though  he knew she could afford to rent something much more spacious and  luxurious, or even buy a place of her own if she wanted to.