Anticipation(21)

But pretty much every decision she made these days hurt, really.

She twitched as Eddie found a particularly good spot, unable to stop a low hum of appreciation from escaping.

"Jesus. I might need a cigarette after this little floor show," Renarto  said, and like that, Blue was back in the room, aware of exactly how  revealing her expression must be as she tried to contain her response to  Eddie's hands on her body.

Heat rushed into her face, the rush of self-consciousness so intense her  armpits prickled with sweat. She kept her chin tucked to her chest, her  whole body taut as a bow as she battled against herself.

"You weren't kidding about being tight," Eddie said.

"Yeah. I should probably go home and have a bath or something." She lifted her head, signaling that he should stop now.

"Still got two minutes on the clock. Might as well make use of them," he  said, his thumbs doing amazing things to the small muscles either side  of her neck.

She wanted to protest, but for the life of her she couldn't come up with  a single good reason for him to stop doing something she'd been begging  Corey to do five minutes ago.

This is what's called being hoist on your own petard.

And then some.

She closed her eyes, guiltily aware of how turned on she was. Finally,  Eddie lifted his hands from her shoulders and she almost sagged with  relief.

"Better?" he asked.

She forced herself to look over her shoulder. "Much, thanks."

He didn't need to know that she was about a million times more tense than when he'd started. That was her problem, not his.

Somehow she dredged up a carefree smile and managed to keep it on her  face until Eddie left the room to collect his next client. The moment he  was gone, she pushed back her chair.

"You guys have a good weekend," she said before grabbing her things and heading for the exit.

She didn't slow until she'd reached the privacy of her car. Then she  pressed her forehead against the hard rim of the steering wheel.

Things weren't getting any better with Eddie. Ignoring her desire wasn't  getting any easier, and her feelings weren't getting any more bearable.  It had been nearly four months since the accident. Four months of going  up in flames when he walked into a room. Four months of wanting  something with acute, painful longing. Four months of constantly  monitoring herself and being afraid of her own feelings lest she do  something irreversible.

It was too much. Something had to give - and she was terrified it would  be her. She'd already blurred the lines by fantasizing about Eddie while  making herself come. What would be next?

She didn't want to find out. She needed to do something to short circuit  the situation, and she needed to do it now, because she was sick to  death of arriving home from work wet and needy and aching.

Her resolve hardened as she drove, and when she pulled into her parking  spot beneath her apartment building she grabbed her phone and made a  call to Steffi.

"Yo. You up for a night out? I want to get a bit crazy," she said.

"Woo hooo! Blue's back. Absolutely, baby. Where do you want to go? Mojo?"

Blue thought about the dark, underground vibe at her favorite dance  club. Friday nights were always pumping at Mojo, which meant it was  perfect for her purposes.

"Meet you there around ten?" Blue said.

"Done. Oh, man. I know I'm going to regret this tomorrow, but who cares?" Steffi laughed.

Blue ended the call, then climbed out of her car and took the lift to  her level. She let herself into her apartment, dumped her gear on the  couch in the living room, then went straight to the bedroom. Opening the  closet, she pulled out her tightest black jeans and threw them on the  bed. The chest of drawers yielded her sauciest underwear - sheer black  mesh and lace that always made her feel invincible. She hesitated a  moment over what to wear on top, then picked a sleeveless black top that  made the most of her cleavage.         

     



 

Why not? She was going out to get laid, and she might as well shout it from the rooftops.

She would go to Mojo, and she would find a hot guy, and she would fuck  him until she couldn't move or think or feel. She would do it even  though her stomach dropped at the thought, even though the only man she  wanted was Eddie.

She would do it because it had to be done.





Chapter Ten

Grimly determined, Blue kicked off her boots and padded barefoot into  the kitchen. She unearthed the bottle of vodka from the freezer where it  had been hibernating since her accident and grabbed a glass from the  cupboard. She drank two shots in quick succession, then she stripped and  went into the bathroom.

She washed herself perfunctorily, refusing the temptation to finish what  Eddie had started when he'd touched her in the staff room less than an  hour ago. She would take that need and make it work for her. She would  dance until there was nothing but music and movement, and she would find  a man. Because there would be someone. There had to be, despite how she  felt right now. Her heart might not be in it at first, but once she had  a few drinks in her, once she'd gotten up close and personal with a  hard body on the dance floor, the rest would fall into place.

She spent some time on her makeup and hair, then dressed and sprayed  strategic body parts with her favorite perfume. Then she killed time  with Far Cry 4. At 9:30 she downed another couple of shots of vodka and  called a cab. While she was waiting, she fired up The Heavy's "How You  Like Me Now" and walked around her apartment psyching herself up for the  night ahead.

She was going to dance.

And she was going to get naked with a stranger and purge Eddie from her system.

And it was going to be good. If it killed her.

The streets were busy, and it took the cab driver longer than she'd  expected to jockey his way to the hidden corner of the city that was  home to Mojo. Blue's belly felt tight as she exited the car and walked  the short distance to the entrance. Dumb as it was, she was more than a  little anxious. Probably because she felt desperate. Desperate and  urgent and more than a little reckless.

A healthy dose of Jack Daniels would probably fix that. Her phone  vibrated in her back pocket as she elbowed her way to the bar. She  pulled it out and checked it. Steffi was looking for her, having just  arrived herself. Blue told her where to find her and ordered two JDs  while she waited for Steffi to make her way through the crowd.

"You ready to rock this thing?" Steffi asked, her white blonde hair  streaming straight down her back and her midriff bared by a revealing  bustier top. Like Blue, her jeans were painted on, and she took the  glass Blue offered her with a grateful smile.

"Hell, yeah," Blue said, clinking glasses with her colleague.

"Pity Lena's not here - would be like old times." Steffi had to shout to be heard over the music.

Blue shrugged philosophically. It would be awesome if Lena was here,  because no one partied like Lena, but she wasn't. She was on the other  side of the world dealing with her own crazy shit.

Blue's gaze went to the dance floor, her body already starting to sway  in time to the music. She literally itched to get out there and move.  For nearly four months she'd been held prisoner by her injury,  restricted first by pain and a cast and crutches, then by a brace and  yet another crutch. Last week, her doctor had shown her the bright line  of new bone that had formed across her break and told her she was  officially healed.

Tonight, she would make his words reality. She would take back control of her body and her mind.

The club was crowded and getting more so with every minute, and she let  her gaze slide over the dancers, looking for someone, something to spark  her interest. A set of shoulders. A firm ass. A mouth that promised  good times.

There were a couple of potential suspects - a tall, built blond guy who  knew how to move, and a dark-haired guy with some wicked blackwork  tattoos on his shoulders and arms. Blue slugged the last of her JD and  slid her glass onto a nearby table.

"You coming?" she said to Steffi.

She didn't wait for her friend's answer, simply headed for the dance  floor. It was crowded, but she didn't hesitate, slipping in between the  gyrating bodies. Seconds later Steffi joined her, and Blue let the music  take her.

The bass beat vibrated up through the soles of her boots as she rolled  her hips and torso in time to the music. After a couple of songs, they  were both covered with a light sheen of sweat and Blue was starting to  feel buzzed with a combination of feel-good hormones and alcohol. One of  her favorite songs came on and she punched the air, letting out a  little whoop of approval.         

     



 

God, it felt amazing to move. To be alive. To have air in her lungs and blood pumping through her veins.

She lost track of time as one song blended into the next. There was only  the music thumping and her body moving. She switched smoothly between  the hip-hop of her teen years to the sinuous rolling hip movements of  the Kizomba and Reggaeton, both dances Eddie had introduced her to. She  reveled in the smooth, loose feeling of her body and the beautiful,  mindless joy of shaking her ass.