Caden and Marcus went still, and I knew what they were thinking.
I wasn’t the sun.
I was just a reprieve in the darkness.
Colton grasped my hand across the table and squeezed it. “Thank you.” He seemed a little choked up, but moved right on to his food.
An hour later, we were going to take Colton home, but Marcus volunteered.
“You sure?” Caden asked, a slight frown on his face.
“Yeah.” Marcus stood and flicked a hand toward his twin. “Come on. I owe you a heart-to-heart anyway.” His jaw firmed. “And I owe mom a piece of my mind too.”
A sheen of tears appeared over Colton’s eyes, but he blinked them back and cleared his throat. “No, it’s good.” He stood next to Marcus, clapping a hand on his shoulder. “I think it’s time too.”
Caden didn’t seem convinced, and to be honest, neither was I. Since meeting Colton, even in this short amount of time, I’d grown protective of him. Maybe I’d inherited some of Caden’s feelings concerning his brother, or maybe I’d caught Marcus’ hesitation. Either way, I found myself holding my breath, hoping everything would be okay between the twins. I didn’t want Marcus to do more damage than was already done.
Staring at the two side by side, the similarities were glaring. So were the differences.
Marcus had personality just standing there. While despite his jokes and teasing, Colton looked like a shell of a person. If his pain was an ocean, his facade was the whitecaps on top. They were there if there was enough force to conjure them, and they distracted from what was underneath, but I saw through them.
Colton’s eyes dropped to mine, and the good-natured smile on his face dimmed into his real emotion: fear. He was scared just like I was, and like I guessed Caden was too.
“Okay. I see the judgment.” Marcus cursed, stuffing his hands in his pockets and shifting back on his heels. “Chill the fuck out. I’ve been around, but I’ve not waded into the foray, if you can call it like that. I’m doing it now. So I’m going to take Colton home. I’m going to grovel and probably cry trying to make it up to the guy who shared the womb with me.” He closed his eyes, and his shoulders lifted as he took a short breath. He coughed again. “You guys know what I mean.”
“And Mom?” Caden asked.
“Mom’s been worse than me,” Marcus said.
Colton looked at the ground, shifting away so his back was to the conversation. He began picking at imaginary lint.
Marcus gentled his tone. “I was never in denial. I knew it was bad, I was just—”
“Scared.”
Marcus looked over, but Colton hadn’t looked back as he cut in.
“Yeah. I was scared,” Marcus said. “But Mom’s in denial. It’s time we talked to her.”
“I should be there for that,” Caden said.
“Why?”
Colton started laughing, bitter and dry.
Marcus repeated his question to Caden. “Why do you have to be there?”
“We need to do it together. She won’t listen otherwise.”
“She won’t listen anyway.” Colton turned back now, shaking his head. “You guys have no idea. Caden, you’ve been there the most, but you don’t know what Mom’s like when you leave. She pretends to be supportive in front of you. She knows. But then she tells me ‘to get over it.’ She asks when I’m going to college. She asks why I don’t have a job, and why I’m not exercising anymore.” He added, hoarsely, “I spend more time with the dog than anyone else. Gus is more supportive than anyone.”
I had no words. Marcus was the same, half turning away. The only one who responded was Caden.
“That’s why Marcus and I will do it together,” he said. “You shouldn’t be there at all. Your fight is to keep going. Our fight is to stand up for you.”
Colton looked away.
Marcus’s head hung low.
Caden looked to the sky.
The emotions were high, and the air was thick. These three loved each other. It was glaringly obvious, but they were limited in how they expressed it. They needed a girl—someone who’d say what needed to be said, explain what needed to be done. Their mom should’ve been that person, but it sounded like she’d abandoned them in a way.
I decided. “Colton, you can hang out with me that day.” I was going to be their girl.
All three looked at me, with varied expressions of relief.
“And how could you have a dog and not tell me?!”
They broke into chuckles.
Caden raised an eyebrow. “I wasn’t aware you liked dogs, and besides—”
“It’s mine,” Colton added. He slid his hands into his pockets, mirroring the way Marcus was standing, and faced me squarely. “You can come see Gus anytime you want.” His eyes skirted to Caden. “If that’s okay with you?”