I got up. “No. That’s okay. I can call a friend. You guys talk.”
“Are you sure?” His hand covered mine. He squeezed. “Your mother, your stepmother, and I love you very much. I never want you to feel like a burden.”
Sheila couldn’t stop the tears now. At my dad’s words, they rolled freely.
“I know, Dad.” I felt my own tears building. I covered his hand with my free one and squeezed. “I’ve never felt that way.”
“Good.” His voice had grown hoarse, and he seemed to be struggling as he smiled. He squeezed my hand once more. “Good.”
“I’m, uh, going to go. I’ll get a ride.”
I gave both a reassuring smile, but it didn’t matter. Sheila looked broken. It was the first time I’d seen my stepmother anything other than bubbling and happy. It tore at me, but when I stepped outside and saw Kevin, I knew he was broken as well.
He was waiting on the curb, his hands in his pockets, his shoulders slumped forward. He stared at the ground, and I could see the little boy inside of him, the one who’d been hurt by his mother.
I took in a breath.
He glanced over and grimaced. “She never wanted to talk about him, and I finally snapped today.”
I lifted a shoulder. “You’re still a cheating jackass, and you were a jerk inside, but I was the bitch first this time.”
“You’re not a bitch.”
“I was today.”
He smiled. “Maybe you should be more often.”
“What do you mean?”
“You liked fighting in there, didn’t you?”
I shrugged. “It wasn’t for a good reason. I don’t really know why I was doing it.”
He laughed, but it sounded sad. “I do. You got sick of the shit that they won’t talk about. Your mom died, and she’s barely talked about. My parents divorced, and my mom acts like my dad doesn’t exist. I took my anger out on you instead of focusing on her from the start. I really am sorry, Summer.”
My heart felt tugged all over the place. “I like your mom.”
A second laugh came from him, this one a bit more lighthearted. “I do too, but she hasn’t wanted to deal with divorcing my dad, and she has to. It’s hurting me. She can’t sweep it under the rug. I let her get away with it, and that’s on me. Talking to her didn’t work. Screaming didn’t work. So I tried ignoring her back. I ignored the whole situation.” He snorted again. “We both know where that ended up—you and me in bed because I finally noticed you that night, and I wasn’t ready.”
I looked up to find him staring at me. There was a look in his eye I wasn’t sure I wanted to see. My mouth dried up.
“I wasn’t prepared for you when I saw you, when I finally saw you,” he said softly. His Adam’s apple bobbed up and down. “Did you mean it? What you said in there about Banks—or do you really like him?”
I…wasn’t prepared for that question. I kicked at the ground, unsure what to say.
“Or were you trying to get a rise out of me?”
The corner of my mouth lifted. He could take that as the answer.
He let out a sigh. “I lost my chance with you, didn’t I?”
This was what I’d wanted, for so damned long. Here it was—right in front of me. Looking back at me. Those words… My chest swelled tight. I could only swallow a lump in my throat.
“You’re saying this to me now?” I didn’t want to hear it, but I didn’t know why. It wasn’t about any feelings for him. It was something else…
“I know. Bad timing, right?”
I couldn’t. I just couldn’t. “Take it back.”
“What?”
“Take it back. What you just said, take it back. Say you didn’t mean it.” My lungs burned. “Say you’re just doing what you do. You’re playing with me. You’re testing to see if I still have feelings. That you don’t mean it, and you’re actually being cruel. Really, truly cruel right now.”
“I’m not—”
“Say it!”
A car pulled up in front of us. Music blared out the windows, and Maggie’s voice came from inside, “Kevin?”
He continued to look at me.
I couldn’t look away.
“Hey!”
Then he murmured, “I can’t lie anymore. I can’t take it back.”
I heard a whooshing sound as all the air left my lungs.
Kevin walked around the car and got in on the passenger side. He never looked at Maggie. His eyes held mine the entire time, and even as she pulled away, he watched me as he left.
I felt a void in my center that was the size of an ocean. I think it had been there the whole time.