His lips curved, and something happened inside her chest. It filled with . . . hunger. Longing.
Need.
“A date sounds good,” he said. “We never really did much of that, did we?”
“No.” She crumpled up a few more spreadsheets and tossed them into the dying flames. “But that was okay with me. You didn’t keep any of the women you dated. And even if you had, I didn’t want to be one of your . . . gaggle.” She handed him a stick and a marshmallow. “S’more?”
“Gaggle?”
“A family of noisy geese. Or in your case, all the single women in all the land.”
His smiled widened, but he took the stick and snatched three additional marshmallows. “You aren’t part of my gaggle, Jade. You never were.” He eyed the small stack of business cards she had left but was smart enough not to mention them. Instead, he concentrated on carefully constructing a s’more with the same precision he used in surgery.
Jade could hardly believe he was here. She wanted to throw herself at him. Instead, she stuffed her face with her own delicious s’more, then licked chocolate off her fingers. “I’m surprised to see you,” she said as casually as she could. “Given your whole no-relationship decree.”
He took his time creating another s’more. “If you think about it,” he finally said, “we already have a relationship.”
This admission caught her by surprise. She’d known. She just hadn’t realized he had as well.
“It sort of sneaked up on me,” he said softly, reaching past her for more chocolate. “Tripped me up some, I’ll give you that. But it’s true. We’re friends. Maybe even best friends. Unfortunately, it’s not enough for me.”
She stopped breathing.
“Is it enough for you, Jade?”
She opened her mouth, but before she could answer he hedged his bet by lowering his head and gently kissing her. “You asked why I’m here,” he said against her lips. “It’s because you’re a part of my life, you’re a part of me, Jade, the most important part, actually, and have been since the day you walked into Sunshine.”
She stared at him while her heart slowly rolled over in her chest and exposed its tender, vulnerable belly.
He stood, tugging her up with him and wrapping his arms around her. “You should know that my office is a mess. I fucked up the computer system. And the printer won’t work.”
“Hmm.” She hung on, snaking her hands beneath his jacket and shirt just to touch his warm, smooth skin. “It’s only been five days.”
He tightened his grip on her. “Five and a half.”
Her hands settled on his chest, where she could feel his heart beating under her fingers. Strong and steady. Sure. “Dell.”
“Yeah?”
“I’ve missed you, too.”
“Good.” He lowered his head and kissed her, his lips promising everything his words never did.
Twenty-seven
Somehow they moved inside, mouths still fused. From a distance, Jade could hear ringing, but she didn’t want to take her mouth off of Dell’s to figure it out. If she stopped kissing him, it might turn out to be a dream.
“Your phone,” he said against her lips, then pulled reluctantly back.
She walked into her den, which she’d always used as an office. It was her fax machine, and as the papers started to spit out, she smiled, knowing she’d made the right decision.
Dell had followed her in, removing his jacket. “What?” he asked.
She held up the list of painters her mother had sent over. “I’m going to put this place up for sale.”
He went still, his eyes guarded, so carefully guarded they pierced her heart. “What does that mean?”
“It means,” she said, “that the next time you want to pick me up for a date, it’ll take you a whole hell of a lot less time to get me.”
He didn’t smile. He took the fax out of her hand and set it on the desk. He pulled her to him and looked into her eyes, his own expression dialed to his surgery face, the one that gave nothing away. He looked utterly impenetrable, but she knew him now, and she knew that he was at his most vulnerable when he felt he had to hide his thoughts. She knew that her leaving Sunshine must have brought some of his deep-seated abandonment issues to the surface, yet he’d done his best to deal with that while still stepping back and letting her make her own decisions. Bringing her hands up, she cupped his face. “You remember what I told you about my grandmother?”
He didn’t blink at the subject change. “Yes. You were named for her.”
“Yes, so I’d have her strength. I never even questioned it. I willingly followed the path she’d started. I let myself be an empty mold. No one meant to hurt me, but all my life I allowed others to make my path for me. After the attack, I lost that path. I lost me. Do you know how I found myself ?”