Animal Attraction(87)
“The police came. Someone in the next building over heard Karen screaming. The guy who had me, he had an accomplice. He was in the getaway car, but he came in to shut Karen up. The police burst in just in time. We were saved. No thanks to me.”
“You weren’t . . .”
“No. He intended to rape me, he told me several times.” She shuddered. “In graphic detail. But he didn’t get to it.” She closed her eyes. “I grew up hearing how strong I was. How I was meant for big things, how I could do anything I wanted. That I’d been born for running the family show, so to speak. But I wasn’t strong. I was weak.”
What she’d been raised hearing from her family sounded more like a major contradiction to him—do what you want, but make damn sure that what you want is to do our bidding . . . “You’re human, Jade. That doesn’t mean you’re weak.”
She turned from him and shrugged. “Everything I knew about myself was wrong. Nothing felt right. I couldn’t find my footing.”
“Anyone would have felt that way.”
“It was my own doing.”
“The holdup wasn’t your fault.”
She rolled her head on her neck, like her muscles hurt. Since she was tense enough to shatter, it was no wonder. He put his hands on her shoulders. Her muscles were bunched and tight as rocks. He dug his fingers in a little and she exhaled, dropped her head back to his chest.
“When I left Chicago,” she murmured, “I wanted to find myself again, but I couldn’t. I think it’s because I was trying to be someone who no longer existed.”
He dug in on a particularly tightly knotted muscle and she hissed in a breath. “God, that feels good.” She tilted her head to give him more room to work. “I think working at Belle Haven was supposed to be a statement, like look at me further sabotaging myself . . . but the joke ended up on me. I like it here. I like who I became here. And I liked to think I brought some things to the job that no one else has before.”
“Hell yeah, you did,” he said. “And you became an important, integral part of the place.” He turned her to face him. “You know that, right?”
She gave a little smile. “Turns out I have mad skills no matter what type of an office it is.”
“Turns out,” he said, smiling back. God. She looked so beautiful bare of makeup, bare of the clothes, of any of her usual shields. Just Jade. “But that’s just the job,” he said. “Did you figure out who you are outside of work?”
“Not a line dancer.”
He smiled. “Okay. Anything else?” When she didn’t say anything, he did. “You’re a good friend.”
She choked out a half laugh, and then another. And then as if her legs were weak, she slid down until she was sitting on the floor, her back to the cabinet. “Dell, I was here for a year and a half before I even let any of you come over here. Lilah—”
“Loves you. Adam loves you.” He hunkered beside her. “We all—”
She covered his mouth with her hand. He gently kissed her palm and pulled it away. “You give something to each of us. Hell, you give something to perfect strangers, like when you paid the rest of Nick’s bill from your own money.”
“You saw that?”
“I see lots of things.” He kissed her palm again, and held it in his. “I see the real you, Jade.”
She stared at him. “Do you think you can tell me who that is?”
He dropped all the way to the floor next to her and hauled her into his lap. “The real you is the woman who gets to work early to make my day easier because she cares. The real you is the woman who goes to lunch with Lilah even though for the fifth time that week she’s going to ask you if Lulu should be allowed at the reception, and even though you likely want to strangle her, you still smile and suggest that probably it’s not a good idea to allow lambs at the wedding reception. The real you is the woman who can make both of my big, badass ex–military brothers smile.” He lowered his voice and put his mouth to her ear. “The real you is the woman who, when you’re naked in my arms, gives me absolutely everything you have.”
She closed her eyes. “How do you know?”
“Because I’ve never seen you give anything less, in everything you do.”
“You helped me.”
Maybe. She’d come to Sunshine seeking confidence and inner strength, looking to find herself. He’d done his best to give her whatever she needed but in the process he’d helped her become strong enough to go back. “So why are you going back now?”