I give into the connection I’ve always wanted with him. The connection that formed wasn’t because he was supposed to be my mate, or anything else wolf related. I always wanted Jax. We built our own connection way before the Fates got involved. He bites my bottom lip and I allow his tongue to find mine. I weave my hand into his hair pulling out the elastic band in it. I moan and so does he when I grab a handful of hair and tug.
I move my mouth away needing air.
“We need to stop,” I say, breathing heavily as he moves his body against mine. His lips continue to press gentle kisses on my neck and collar bone.
“I can’t… I want you so bad,” he says, pushing against me making sure I feel his want.
“I need you…so bad, Alexia.”
“I shouldn’t have done this, Jax.”
I can’t feel regret for doing this, I want it so much. Faith does though and is screaming in my ear telling me to stop, reminding me about our mates back home, the ones who haven’t rejected me… yet.
“Yes, you should. We should have done this a long long time ago,” he says, giving me small kisses along my jaw line and leaving a soft kiss on my lips.
I turn my head away. “I found my second chance mate,” I blurt out. Jax freezes for a few seconds, then I feel one of his hand come up to my jaw.
He kisses my neck on the right side, tracing kisses up and down the tender skin. “Hmmm… you sure about that?” He continues to give me three more kisses along my neck as one hand gently moves towards my ass. My control can only take so much.
“Yeah, I’m sure.” I squeeze my eyes shut trying to reign in my control, but my voice is quivering.
His hand tightens on my jaw and he motions for me to turn my head, I have no option but to. He starts kissing the other side of my neck. “I think you’re lying to me darlin’.”
“I’m not, Jax! We need to stop,” I say, in almost a pant.
“Where is his mark then? There should be a mating mark… around here….somewhere,” he says, between kisses.
And just like that a switch flips, and I’m faced with what’s really happening with Jax.
What this could possibly be, lust… that’s it. I need to believe that all this is, is lust. We both want something we could never have before and right now is a matter of timing. Faith reminds me again about the twins.
I move my head away.
“That’s because they’re probably going to reject me like you did,” I spit out.
He goes ultra-stiff against me. I drop to my feet, not caring about my back scraping on the hard stone through the jacket. I just want to get away from him. I need distance right now.
He continues to stand in my space, so I use both hands to shove him, but he just grabs my wrists and tugs me toward him.
“I hate myself for what I did to you, Alexia. I have to live with that regret every-single day of my life. I loved you. I still do!” Sorrow and despair bleed through each word he speaks. It’s just a pity he wasn’t this sincere when he rejected me.
“You thought I was weak! You didn’t even give me a chance, Jackson,” I shake my head then I look up to him, “Well I did it! I survived the shift, all on my fucking own!”
He frowns obviously confused. “Your own? You said you found your mate, why didn’t he help you?”
“I have two mates, Jax. Twins. They have girlfriends and I’m pretty sure they’re choosing them over me! It’s only a matter of time.”
I push past him and start walking again, pulling the jacket down making sure my ass can’t be seen. He follows close behind, and I can feel his fury.
“I don’t understand. Why would they reject you?” He says. I scoff shaking my head.
“Jax, don’t be a fucking hypocrite. You were the first to reject me, remember?” I look at him dumbfounded.
“And I’m so sorry for the way I did it. You just caught your boyfriend cheating and you turned to me. I pushed you away, and I’m so very sorry I did. I was afraid you wouldn’t survive the shift if I had to mark you, I couldn’t lose you… not like that.” He grabs my elbow as I look up to his sad face.
God I missed him so much.
“You did more than that, Jax. You rejected me. Do you know how happy I was to find out you were my mate? You don’t realise how much I loved you. You don’t even know half of the shit Drake put me through,” I say.
“Because you didn’t tell me!” He says, raising his voice and causing an echo in the silent woods. He runs his hands over his jaw and I can sense he’s trying to calm himself down, “You kept so much from me! Even after what he did to you, you still stuck with him! You stood by his side and you came back for him. Each and every time you came back, you came back to him.”