I know how much I’ve put the twins through since my arrival. I guess this is my karma for all the shit I’ve done and the people I’ve hurt. But I’m so angry with the way both of them have just abandoned me. It overshadows my understanding of the reasons they have for their behaviour towards me.
The more I think about it, the angrier I become because I told myself I would never allow anyone to treat me this way again. The familiar tingly feeling behind my eyes begins, I know this could only carry trouble if I lose control of myself in my father’s pack house.
Running to my closet I grab a pair of track pants and a comfortable shirt, covering that with an oversized hoody. As I’m putting on my shoes I hear people talking in the hallway outside my door. I’m not ready to speak to my parents and I don’t want to explain the events of the evening either. I don’t want to see their disappointment in me; I’ll save that for later.
I run to the balcony and look from side to side trying to find a way down. I blink away the prickly feeling in my eyes, they are now full on burning. The wind has started to pick up, whipping my hair back and forth. No matter how hard I try to calm myself down, I just can’t.
My heart is beating way to fast.
Thump-thump. Thump-thump. Thump-thump.
All I want to do is run.
There’s a ledge to the side and a tree about two feet away. I estimate that if I can get over to ledge on the left I’ll be able to jump on one of the thick branches.
Just then my foot slips on the railing and I stumble but manage to catch my balance. I hold on to the gutter with all my might, my heart rate speeds up, as does the force of the wind. I slide my feet to exactly where I want them, making sure not to look down, even though I can see how high up I am in my peripheral vision.
I manage to turn my body around so that my back is leaning against the cold wall and I’m facing the tree. My judgement is seriously off because that tree is definitely not two feet away. It’s a big leap but it’s too late now, I just have to make this jump and hope for the best.
I bend as much as I possibly can and jump. I just make the tree, but the thick branch knocks me in my chest as I collide with it and I’m left holding on for dear life. I look down and realise that I’m not too far from the ground - I don’t think I will break anything if I land the right way.
I slowly loosen my grip on the branch and gravity takes hold as I fall to the ground with a thud.
Of course I don’t land gracefully. I land flat on my back, winding myself in the process and curling on the ground wheezing for air. Finally after a few moments I manage to catch my breath and am able to get back onto my feet. I head toward the little pathway across the car park - the pathway leading to the forest.
Walking through the cars, I hear movement and voices to my left. I duck behind one of the cars and peep through the glass window.
A girl giggles and I watch as hands wrap around her waist as she leans against someone who is leaning against a dark blue car.
“So it doesn’t mean we’re over, baby?”
The familiar girls voice sends chills down my spine.
When Talon’s face comes into view, a low growl leaves my lips. I cover my hand over my mouth.
Where the hell did that come from? These wolves are definitely rubbing off on me.
I watch Talon look around as if he heard me; I know he won’t track my scent due to the crazy wind. He looks over the girls shoulder. It’s a distant look in the wrong direction but it doesn’t last long, seconds later his eyes meet the girls face infront of him.
He smiles and my heart drops.
“No way, Luce. The fates definitely made a mistake with this one.” I notice the smile he gives her is the same one I’ve been using on many occasions these past few months. It’s forced, but the girl doesn’t realize it. I can feel the lie as soon as he says it, just like I felt it when Tyler lied. This time I’m not sad, I’m furious.
I turn, standing straight up, squaring my shoulders and refusing to look at the love birds any longer. My hurt is transformed into something more wild, more feral and something uncontrollable.
Rage.
I can feel the little flames of silver in my eyes and I welcome the burn, I breathe it in.
I continue my way over to the forest not even caring if Talon sees me. It’s really dark in the woods, even though it’s about three in the morning. The wind is manic now, trees are swaying and the bark is creaking.
Out of nowhere, I’m forced to hunch over due to a sharp pain in my chest. My heart feels as if it’s about to explode as I fall to my hands and knees trying to catch my breath. This pain is similar to the pain I felt when I was rejected by Jax, but this time the pain starts to move throughout my aching body. My entire body is sweating, but it’s cold out. My fingers fumble to get my jacket off and I quickly throw it to the side. Sweat drips into the sand infront of my eyes, I wipe my forehead and move my hair away from my face; it’s soaking wet.