Angel Blackwood(119)

****





A little later, I hear a car pull up. Running to the balcony, I look down to find Axel jumping out of his car. My eyes focus on the other door as it opens and out climbs Nixon.





I give Nixon a big hug and hold him longer than I know I should; I’ve missed him.

“Missed you too, little one,” Nixon chuckles, wrapping an arm around my shoulders and leading me back into the house.

“What? No hug for me?” I hear Axel says as we walk away.





I pack a bag and tell the boys I just want to get outta this place, I’m grateful they don’t ask questions.

As soon as we get back to the pack house I ask the boys if they want to shift and go for a run, happily they decide to join me. We spend the rest of the afternoon lazing around by the lake and running through the forest. I haven’t seen Tyler all day and I’m not sure what I will do when I eventually have to lay eyes on him.





Nixon and Axel are sitting by a small bonfire in the back yard. I flop down on the log between the two of them and notice the beers in each of their hands. I take Nixon’s but he snatches it back. Axel hands me his and I down the rest of it, letting out an unladylike burp. I cover my mouth and giggle. The boys chuckle and Axel pulls another beer out from his cooler bag. He offers me one, but when I see Nixon frown at the gesture, I decline. We sit there quietly in the dark listening to the crackle of the wood as the flames take it.

“Still don’t wanna talk about it?” Axel says, nudging my shoulder gently. I look up at him then turn back to look at the fire.

“It was horrible... but it was great too. It’s like on one hand I kept wishing for it to be over, but on the other I didn’t want him to stop. He took away all the pain. He did exactly what I asked of him, but if that’s what it feels like to have sex, I don’t wanna do it again.” Nixon whips his head to look down at me and Axel frowns. I continue, “Don’t see what the big deal about it is. God, the act itself was terrible.” I physically shudder as I look back at the fire.

“What?” Nixon asks, sounding confused.

“Were you a virgin?” Axel blurts out at the same time.

“Yeah, and I’m never having sex again. Never ever again,” I say, with great emphasise on he never part.

“Jesus, Angel. Why didn’t you tell us?” Axel says, sounding hurt.

“It’s not something to just announce.” I shake my head.

“Did the twins know you were a virgin?” Nixon asks, leaning forward with a deep frown on his face.

“Yeah, both my mates knew about it. Okay, so it’s not like I expected some romantic display of affection. I knew the only reason he was having sex with me was because I basically begged him to, but I really didn’t expect to lose my virginity that way. I certainly didn’t think having sex would be such an animalistic act. God, it was horrible...so horrible. I just… I don’t want to think about it.” I wrap my arms around myself as a shiver runs through my body.

“Fucking idiots,” Axel mutters, wrapping an arm around my shoulder and pulling me into his chest. Nixon holds my hand tightly between his two hands.

“It’s not as bad as he made it out to be, babe. Sex can be a beautiful, intimate act between two people. I wish you told me you were a virgin, Angel. I would’ve shown you just that.”

Axel smiles down at me as he sends this message to me without letting Nixon hear; I can’t help but smile back. I remain quiet, knowing I will never have sex with anyone other than my two mates. I still love Tyler. Maybe losing my virginity didn’t go how I thought it would, but if I really wanted him to stop, I would have told him to. I kept quiet, allowing him to take my heat away because at that moment that is all I wanted.





****





When I go to bed that night, I make sure to lock the door to my bathroom as well as my bedroom; I even go through the trouble of placing a chair in front of them. As I’m lying in bed, I think about Chloe and Ronny.

I miss them so much.

I’m just about to write a text to Ronny when I feel Nixon trying to link up with me. I bring down the walls in my mind, just enough to let him in.

“You okay cupcake?” I can hear the concern in his voice.

“I will be,” I reply.

“I don’t want you to let one greedy person take away something so special for you,” he says.

“It’s too late, Nix. He’s already taken it. Last time I checked, your virginity isn’t something that can be replaced,” I say sarcastically, trying to lighten the serious mood.

“Ha-ha,” he fakes. “What I mean is, don’t let him ruin that for you. So your first time was shit, it can only get better now, right? I swear it’s not as brutal as he made it out to be, you just need to find the right person. Don’t let Tyler ruin what could be a beautiful thing, Angel.” I can hear him almost whisper it in my head. I don’t have anything to say to that, he must know this because he replies with a, “Goodnight babe.”