I gave it one last shot. "Think about it for another minute. Not only do I want us to be together, I can't leave you here knowing they might use you to get to me,"
Tessa shook her head. "Charlie, I'm not going anywhere and neither are you. We'll figure this out. I love it here. I feel like I finally belong."
My chest began to shake with emotion. "I love you," I managed to say, before turning into a puddle of tears. Somehow I made it out of the door and into the hallway.
"Charlie!" Tessa yelled, but I ran, bursting out of the feeding center front door. Oliver and Kyle fell in behind me as I sprinted past. Once I made it back to my apartment, I slammed my bedroom door hard, threw myself on the bed and shoved my face into a pillow.
I screamed for as long as I could into my pillow, only stopping when my head shook and I had no breath left. Everything was out of control and I hated it. Helplessness was one of the worst emotions. Powerlessness too. Because I knew that it was bad to leave Tessa here, but she controlled her own life and choices, no matter how terrible they were.
Folding my body tighter around the pillow, I cursed soundly into it, even digging up a few of my favorites from the enforcers. And yet I didn't feel any better. For the millionth time I cursed the Hive. Seriously … fuck this place. My entire life had been turned upside down because I was born different. But it shouldn't be this way, I was still human-well, some of me was.
I understood the vampire virus scared the humans, especially with so many dying from it, but ash weren't contagious. It was bullshit that we were subjected to this lifestyle. It was also bullshit that vampires abused their place of power and treated us like second-class citizens. I looked down at my shaking hands. Running through these veins was a cure, a way to end all of this.
I rolled over on the bed and fought to control my breathing, focusing on the plain white ceiling. Life was weird. You grew up as a kid with big dreams. Like wanting to be a famous actress or an NBA star, then in high school you scaled those dreams down as you ended up waiting tables with some acting on the side, or hopes to play college ball.
By the time you were in college you decided to just pick a safe major and end up in accounting or marketing. Why did that happen? Why were dreams slowly whittled away until there was nothing much left but the mundane existence of get up, go to work, come home and then die. That was life.
Well, fuck that. No longer was I content to be an accountant. Life purpose had fallen into my lap, and I could feel the rightness of my convictions. I was going to take this entire system and shake it up. By the time I was done with the world of vampires and Hives, I hoped nothing would remain as it was now. Ash should be free and vampires shouldn't even exist.
The realization that I could change things, that I was meant to, lifted a huge weight I had been carrying since I found out I was an ash, cleared away some of the agony I faced regarding Tessa and the little girl who was changed, and all the children who had suffered. One day there would be no more suffering, no more families torn asunder.
There was a soft knock at my door. I sat up, clearing my throat and wiping my face. "Come in," I said, my voice steady.
It was Kyle and Lucas. Lucas had wide eyes and a clenched jaw. Something was wrong. Of course it was. That was pretty much the story of our lives.
"What is it? What happened?" Adrenalin flooded me, my heart beating out a rapid rhythm. If Ryder was hurt, I was going postal on everyone.
Lucas crossed the room, quickly grabbing me under the armpits and yanking me out of bed.
"Hey!" Kyle said, moving across the room in a smooth stride, gun raised toward the former Quorum member.
Lucas stopped him. "I would never hurt her."
In a flash, he hauled me into the bathroom and turned the shower on full blast. I barely had time to suck in a breath before we were both under the freezing cold spray, fully-clothed.
I'm going to be honest here. When I first met Lucas, I might have had one or two fantasies that involved him … but being fully clothed in an Antarctic shower with him … was not one of them.
I met his feral gaze. "What the crap, dude?"
Kyle had followed us into the room still holding his gun, but his trigger finger was relaxed. He was giving Lucas a chance to prove his intentions before he shot him. Before Lucas could answer me, music blasted out of the radio in my room and Sam joined us in the bathroom. Again, not time for those early day's fantasies. Plus, I was a one ash woman now. Ryder was everything I wanted, and as soon as I figured out what crazy pill Lucas was on, I was going to the pit to get my man.
Lucas' voice was a low growl. "I finally figured out what the hell is up with your blood. All of the tests … dammit! The puzzle has finally been pieced together. I can't believe you would hide that from me."
My heart skyrocketed, and then fell when I saw the look of hurt on his face. Now it made sense, the shower, the music-my apartment was bugged. Lucas clearly had decided he wouldn't rat me out with this information, or he wouldn't be working so hard to cover the conversation now.
Water pounded on my back as I leaned in closer. "Do you blame me, Lucas? You're a powerful vampire and I'm the fucking cure. I'm the one who could take away all of your power and make you weak again."
Lucas shook his head. "You could make me human again, make me feel again." His voice could barely be heard over the music and water.
Kyle's gun was at his side now. "Who else knows?"
Lucas waved his hand at the enforcer. "No one. Pure luck of course. If you had told me the truth, I would have stopped all testing. As it was, the vampire scientist who had been dealing with Charlie's blood went a little crazy when she found out. She was supposed to call me the second she got results but didn't. Luckily, I had a feeling I should check on her and caught her right before she was about to alert all the Quorum members. Let's just say she won't be around to break my trust again."
My stomach rolled at the casual way he spoke of "disappearing" someone, but part of me was grateful.
Lucas reached out and touched my face in a tender way. Kyle cleared his throat.
"You need to leave the Hive. Now," Lucas said to me, and judging by the look on his face he was sporting a major Nutella-flavored unicorn crush.
I shook my head. "Not without Ryder." I felt sick at the thought of him in that dingy room, without light, or food, enduring God knows what. Damn! We had to get him out.
"Yes, Ryder. Her boyfriend," Kyle snapped out.
Lucas smiled. "Yes, I'm aware she's taken. Still, Charlie needs to leave now and he can follow later."
Sam shook his head. "No, we have a code. We do not leave a man behind. Ever."
Lucas turned his angry, swirly eyes on the two enforcers. "Do you have any idea how powerful Charlie is? In a world torn apart by a virus that kills a high percentage of those infected and changes the other percentage to bloodsucking monsters, she's the way out. They will either kill her, experiment on her, or torture her by repeatedly draining her blood."
Sam stood to his full height now, looking absolutely deadly. "Yes, we know all of this. Give me one reason why I should let you live now that you have knowledge of her abilities."
Holy shit. I knew Sam had my back, but wow. Threatening to kill a vampire-one strong enough to be a Quorum member-took huge, platinum covered balls.
Lucas only grinned, looking completely unworried. He turned back to me. "You're in good hands. I'll help you get Ryder out of the pit and then you must run. I only ask one thing in return."
Please don't say kiss me or some weird shit like that.
"Anything," I replied, because if it was for Ryder, I truly would do anything.
Lucas' entire face changed then, desperation in his eyes. "Cure me," he said.
My mouth dropped open.
"No," Kyle said.
"I'll do it," I said. Sam let out a very animal like growl. "But not today. We're going to need someone on the inside, especially with Tess here. Are you okay with staying vamp for a little while longer? Until this war plays itself out?"
He sucked in a few deep breaths, and finally nodded. "Yes, you're going to need my help. I'll figure out a way to communicate with you once you're gone. We can do much together."
He was right, but now wasn't the time to make those plans. We had to deal with the immediate threats. Moving as close as he could get, Sam and Kyle leaning their bulk into the shower with us, the vampire began laying out the plan for getting Ryder out of the pit and us out of the Hive's prison gates.
All of us listened intently, throwing forward arguments on the logistics of his plan. Finally, we were all in agreement. It was a good plan, and I really hoped it was going to work.
Lucas brushed a hand across my cheek. "You have a responsibility now, Charlie, to make a change. There is so much you don't know. I wish there was time to show you."