Suddenly I can't think, can't move. The flowers fall from my limp grasp. But his hand at the small of my back pushes me toward the other side, and we cross before the light changes. My foot catches on a crack in the uneven sidewalk, and I stumble. He catches me, pulling me closer to his large, muscled body, and I cover my face, hoping and praying that I'm hallucinating.
But when I drop my arms to my sides, I still see Lucas. I still feel his hand wrapped around my biceps.
Why now? Why here?
Why?
"Ava." His voice is the same, gravelly and low. And I shiver as it envelops me like the softest silk.
My breath catches in my throat, and suddenly I can't speak. My stomach roils like a thousand angry bees are buzzing inside it.
I whisper the only word I can. "Why?"
Clarity
Lucas
People say you gain clarity when you're about to die-the things that matter most flash vividly through your head, while the things that you fought tooth and nail for over reasons that really won't matter two weeks down the line get dumped.
I've always thought it was bullshit. When you die, you die. What the hell can you possibly be thinking at that moment?
Then it happens to me. I lose control of my Harley, and I'm falling and spinning, leaving what feels like half the meat on my body smeared along the wet pavement. My chest feels like it's on fire, and my leg … Holy shit … The pain is so excruciating, the edges of my vision turn black.
But in that split-second, my mind isn't on how I'm going to fix everything that's broken. Or how I'm going to screw my father over.
No. The image that comes is Ava's face.
Ava smiling.
Ava laughing.
Ava gasping my name in climax.
I regret that I haven't spent even one entire night with her in the seven months we've been together … that I haven't tried to be with her more. I know she wants to take our relationship to the next level. She tries to hide it, but sometimes when her guard is down, I can see the longing in her eyes.
I dimly hear a siren screaming somewhere … getting louder.
If I survive this … I'm going to show her the world-and all that the two of us can be together.
Chapter Three
Lucas
Why?
I don't know how to respond to her question. I asked myself that the entire time my plane was crossing the continental U.S.-and the Pacific-and still didn't find an answer.
Yes, I want closure. Yes, I want my pound of flesh.
But neither are sufficient on their own … or together. And I didn't make my fortune by being half-assed about things.
So why?
I asked myself that question-again-when I finally reached the hotel in the note. The concierge helpfully called Ava's room, but nobody answered. Would I like to leave a message?
No. I had no idea what to say. Instead I asked if they happened to know where she might be. Or when she might be back …
Unfortunately, no. However, as it was dinnertime perhaps she went to get something to eat … ? But it would be hard to find her. There are so many restaurants in the area, not to mention street food stalls.
The concierge forgot to mention how crowded it would be. October isn't a high tourist season, but there were so many damned people, so many damned carts and vendors all calling out what they were offering, trying to drum up business. How the hell could I find her in the chaos? And I was assuming she'd gone on foot. She could've taken one of those tuk-tuk death traps and gone someplace farther out.
Still, I wandered around the Night Bazaar like an idiot. Most merchants shook their heads when I asked them if they'd seen a blond woman about this tall. Either they didn't see her or didn't want to waste their time with someone who obviously wasn't buying.
But I knew when I found Ava … when my entire body tightened and sharp awareness tugged at me so swiftly that I couldn't breathe with the shock of it. I stopped for a second to regain my composure while my eyes scanned the area. The last thing I wanted was to stagger and lose my balance.
I almost missed her when she made a sharp turn around a corner. I dashed after her, not caring if my gait was uneven or that I was acting without a clear plan. All that mattered was catching her.
Thank god for the red light. Thank god for the girl who delayed her.
Now I breathe in Ava's jasmine and vanilla scent, feel the exquisite warmth of her smooth skin. Her eyes are so large, so dark-twin pools of deep sapphire rather than her usual ice blue. She's close enough that if I tilt my head just a few degrees, I can touch her full, lush lips with mine.
My cock twitches at the thought, growing semi-hard. So. My body isn't dead after all.
Why?
I consider the question. I imagined many scenarios on my flight to Chiang Mai, how Ava would react at seeing me again, but none of them involved her asking me why.