An Ounce of Hope(118)

Wasn't this what he wanted? Wasn't this what he'd hoped for? Didn't he want the chance of being with Lizzie again after everything that had been before?

"No," he mumbled against her mouth, answering his unspoken question aloud.

He didn't. It wasn't right. Not now. They were different people, wanting different things. There wasn't even a glimmer of sweet nostalgia, of happier moments, when they would feast on each other for hours. Her kiss simply reminded him of a time in his life that he would never forget but was ready to move forward from.

He gripped Lizzie's waist. "No," he repeated. He pushed her away gently, spotting the high flush in her cheeks and the lust in her eyes.

"Oh God, Max," she exclaimed, hiding her mouth with her palm and stepping back. "I'm so sorry. I shouldn't have-I never should have . . . I don't know what I was thinking."




 

 

Max closed his eyes, her protests reminding him of the way Grace had apologized for kissing him, her mumblings, her shock, and the taste of her on his tongue when he'd reciprocated with more passion than he'd ever felt in his life.

Standing there staring at Lizzie, with the odd sensation of her mouth still tingling across his lips, as God was his witness, Max would have given anything for it to have been Grace instead. He'd have given anything to get the chance to kiss her again, to kiss her the way she deserved, to push into her body and hear her call out for him, to hold her and make her laugh.

He coughed, almost choking on those realizations as they flooded through him, sweeping away all the panic and anxiety of the last week, leaving nothing but hope and determination and something that felt suspiciously like love in their wake.

Looking down at himself, as though just realizing where he was, he blurted, "I have to go."

Lizzie crossed her arms over her chest. "Okay."

Max ran his hand through his hair, his heart pounding furiously with the need to get away, to get back to Preston County, back to Grace. He looked down at the envelopes still in his grasp, knowing that, as easy as it would have been to get the answers he'd thought he needed, they were too late. Silently, he placed them on a table located at the side of the hotel room door.

"I'll leave these here," Max said gently as he pulled out the most recent letter from the back pocket of his jeans and laid it on the top of the rest.

"Are you sure?" Lizzie asked, although her expression changed imperceptibly into one of understanding.

"Yeah," Max answered with a small smile. "I think we've said all there is to say."

The left side of Lizzie's mouth lifted in agreement. "She's a lucky girl, Max."

Max startled.

"Whoever it is that you're going back to. I'm glad you learned to love again," she admitted. "You deserve it."

Her words squeezed a cold, dark piece of him, resuscitating it, while simultaneously blowing the cobwebs off all the other parts he thought lifeless, the parts he knew wanted Grace, needed Grace, suddenly missed Grace more than he would ever be able to explain.

Max stepped forward and placed a small kiss on Lizzie's cheek. "Take care, yeah?" he whispered.

"I will. You, too."

Without another word, Max turned and walked out of the room. The sound of the door shutting behind him echoed down the long corridor like a welcome death knell to all the bullshit that had made Max who he was. He knew that, by walking away, he could finally let go of his past and begin to start living again, and as the distance between he and Lizzie grew, he became more and more determined to have Grace at his side every step of the way. 





Max slammed Carter's apartment door shut, cell phone in his hand, cursing the fucking thing up and down. He was so involved in his argument with the inanimate piece of shit that he didn't notice Carter and Riley, standing, looking surprised, as though they'd shot up from their seats on the sofa. Max came to an abrupt halt when he saw them both and glanced around the apartment in confusion. "I thought you went to work?"

"I went in," Carter explained, "and then took the rest of the day off in case you needed me. And Riley dropped by-"

"Because he was freaking out," Riley interrupted. "And clucking like a mother hen."

"I wasn't freaking," Carter argued, shooting Riley a narrowed glare. "I was just worried." Carter looked back over at Max, his expression suggesting he expected to see Max covered in blood and other battle wounds. "So what happened? How did it go?"

Max blinked and took a deep breath, staring down at his phone. "I have to get a hold of Grace."

Carter's face creased in puzzlement. "Grace?"

"Grace?" Riley echoed. "Oh! Running girl. Your fuck buddy."