An Invitation to Sin(35)

There was a hammering on the door of her trailer but she covered her ears and screwed her eyes shut, ignoring it.

She'd faced the press alone so many times in her life, why did it feel harder this time?

But she knew the answer to that.

She'd allowed herself to trust Luca. For the first time since her teens,  she'd lowered her guard. She'd believed he was a friend. But when  trouble had landed he'd cut her loose and tried to distance himself.

She yanked another tissue out of the box. What had she expected? That he'd stand up and fight for her?

The hammering grew louder. It sounded as if they were actually going to kick the door down and anger flashed through her misery.

Why couldn't they leave her alone?

‘Taylor! Cristo, open this door!' Luca's voice thundered through the door and Taylor jumped in shock.

‘Go away! You are a hypocritical bastard and I never want to see you again.'

‘Open the door or I'll break it down.'

‘Fine! Whatever. If that's what you want.' Springing from the bed, she  wrenched open the door and Luca immediately barged his way past her and  slammed it shut, blocking out the cameras.

He swore in Italian. ‘It's crazy out there.'

‘Probably safer out there than in here.' Defensive anger bubbling up  through the misery, Taylor folded her arms and tapped her foot on the  floor but the words on her lips died as she took a proper look at him.  ‘You look awful. Isn't that the same suit you were wearing yesterday?'

‘What? No. Yes.' He looked down at himself blankly and then back at her,  tension in his features. ‘I don't know. I do know there are things I  need to say to you.'

‘If "sorry for being a hypocrite" isn't on that list then you can save your breath and get out now.'

‘Hypocrite?'

‘Oh, come on, Luca-I saw your face yesterday. You were shocked.' The  words choked her. ‘How dare you be shocked? After everything you've done  in your life.'

‘But I've never done this.' His voice was hoarse. ‘I just didn't think  this would ever happen to me. I didn't want it to happen.'

‘"This" being involved with someone like me? Well, I'm sorry to have  disturbed your perfect life.' Tears of frustration and humiliation stung  her eyes and she pointed to the door. ‘Leave, before I sully your  reputation even more. If you think you're such a saint, get out now. And  it didn't happen to you, it happened to me. That's my naked butt up  there on the Internet, not yours, so stop being so sanctimonious. You've  done far worse, Luca Corretti. You are many things but I had no idea  you were a hypocrite.'

He raked his hand over the back of his neck, his expression bemused. ‘Cosa? What are you talking about?'                       
       
           



       

‘You! I just can't believe you're shocked to see naked photographs!  You're the one who almost ripped my dress off at the wedding.' That  revelation was met by tense silence.

‘You think I'm shocked about the photographs?' Looking slightly dazed,  he lowered his hand from the back of his neck. ‘That's why you're  calling me a hypocrite?'

‘I saw you, Luca. Yesterday, when you stumbled out of the boardroom, you could barely speak you were so shocked.'

‘Yes, but not about the photographs. I was shocked because-' he broke off and licked his lips ‘-because I … '

‘Because what?'

He looked like a man who was about to step off a cliff. ‘Because I'd  just discovered I was in love with you. Cristo, that is the first time  I've said it out loud and it sounds as weird as it feels.' He sank onto  the edge of her bed and stared down at his hands. ‘Look at me-I'm  shaking.' He held out his hands as evidence but Taylor simply stared at  him, stunned into silence by his raw confession.

Her mouth opened and shut but no sound came out and he looked at her helplessly.

‘I've never been shocked by anything before but I was shocked by this. I  still am. I'm a guy who has never fallen for a woman. I never intended  to fall for a woman.' His voice was as shaky as his hands. ‘When you  started this engagement farce I thought I was going to hate every minute  of it. Instead I loved every minute of it. I loved every minute of  being with you. You're bright, sexy, funny, confident, sexy, strong,  warm-did I say sexy?'

‘Wait a minute.' It was Taylor's turn to shake. ‘Are you really telling me you love me?'

‘Yes and last night you said you were sorry I felt this way which, by  the way, was not the most sympathetic comment I've ever heard.'

‘Last night I thought you were shocked because there are going to be  naked photographs of me everywhere. You're shocked because you love me?'

‘Yes. And there won't be photographs. That's where I've been all night.  With the Corretti family lawyers. We've stopped the photos being  published.'

It was her turn to be shocked. ‘How can you do that? The Italian press  are notorious for not caring about rules and regulations.'

‘There are some advantages to being a Corretti. We stopped it. That's  all you need to know. No one gets to see my wife naked but me.'

‘W-wife?'

‘You have to marry me.' He was on his feet, his expression strained.  ‘Until I met you I'd never spent a whole night with a woman and now I  can't stand being parted from you even for a moment. Even when I'm not  with you I'm thinking about you all the time. I know you find it hard to  trust people and I understand why, but I wanted to prove to you that  you could trust me. I made sure those photographs won't be used.'

‘But our engagement was fake. We did it because it gave us both respectability.'

He gave a humourless laugh. ‘And how did that work for you, dolcezza?  Because I hated every minute of being respectable. I don't care what  anyone writes about you. I never have and never will.'

The fact he hadn't sold her out to the press meant almost as much as  hearing him say he loved her. ‘He told me I was beautiful. Rafaele … ' The  tears were falling again and she brushed them away with her palm. ‘I  was homeless and I had no one-my own mother had turned her back on me  and my father had sold his story to the press, and he was there for me.  Except that he wasn't. I trusted him-'

‘Shh … ' Luca wrapped her in his arms. ‘He doesn't deserve a moment of  your time and he certainly isn't worth your tears. Don't cry.'

‘He's held it over me for so long. He didn't even tell me he had the  photographs until after our relationship ended. He paid someone to take  them from the garden of the house we were using in California. I had no  idea. I thought it was just the two of us. I thought we were alone.' She  pressed her face against his shirt and felt safe. ‘And then I ended it  and he told me what he had. How he'd use them. No matter where I went or  what I did, he found me. And I always knew he was just waiting for the  right time.' She swallowed, relieved to finally be able to tell someone.  ‘And the pressure got to me. Do you know how it feels to wake up every  day wondering if this is the day the world is going to see you naked?  It's just horrible. And finally-well, I had a sort of breakdown.'                       
       
           



       

‘I know. I saw the pictures of you but no one knew what happened or where you went.'

‘It wasn't drugs or drink. It was just the pressure. I wanted to get away. I flew out of LA and on the plane I met Zach.'

‘Zach the friend?'

‘That's all he ever was. He served in Iraq. We got talking and in the  end I went back with him to DC and volunteered in a rehab unit. They  didn't care who I was, they were just grateful for the help. I felt good  about myself for the first time in my life. It was Zach who helped me  separate the acting from all the mess that surrounds it.'

‘I'm starting to almost like Zach.' Luca stroked her hair gently. ‘So what made you come back to acting?'

‘I read this script. And Zach helped me see that I love being an  actress, I just hate being in the spotlight when I'm not on set. I hate  that feeling that everyone is waiting to tear me down. And because of  our engagement you'll be pulled down with me.' She felt sick when she  thought of it. ‘I dread to think what the board said to you.'

‘They told me I had to distance myself from you and that's when I  realised I didn't want to. I didn't want it to be fake. I want it to be  real.'

‘Are you sure?' Her smile was wobbly. ‘The real me gets me in trouble every time.'

‘Never with me. You're forgetting that I grew up with fake. I grew up  watching my mother turn herself inside out in an attempt to please my  father.'