An Indecent Proposal(34)

“Was it that bad?” I suppressed a smile.

“Bad? Are you kidding me? Try disastrous. Completely humiliating. You should have seen Chase’s face. He was mortified.”

I shook my head, unsure what she was referring to. The only thing I remembered was Clint talking about me going home while I wished I could sink into the bottom of my drink and drown in it.

“No wonder we couldn’t pry you off the wine bottle. You don’t even like wine,” she continued, oblivious to my thoughts. “Now I see why I can’t possibly let you move back home.”

I smiled at her weak attempt at infusing humor. “They’d turn me into an alcoholic,” I said, wondering what the heck Clint had said.

“Exactly. And then we’d have to go together to rehab, because there’s no way I’d let you go alone.” She leaned over the table and grabbed my hand, forcing me to look at her. “While you were asleep, I mixed you my top-secret hangover cocktail.”

She went over to the fridge and filled a glass of green liquid, then handed me the blend with an encouraging smile. “Drink up. Trust me, you’ll feel better in no time. This is the only cure that will beat the mother of all hangovers.”

I eyed it warily, then smelled it. Faintly, I could detect the scent of green tea, kale, and cucumber.

“Do I really have to?” I said, taking a tender sip.

“It will help you rehydrate. Now drink up. You’ll need it.” Her expression turned serious again. “Chase wants to talk to you.”

Oh, god.

Groaning, I buried my head in my hands as I realized the magnitude of the situation. I almost never consumed alcohol, meaning I had absolutely no immunity against it. My threshold was basically nonexistent. From the few times I had been drunk in my entire life, I knew I was horrible while under the influence. My speech was slurred, and I said the most ludicrous things.

“How did I even get home?” I asked, looking up, eager to change the subject.

“We drove you.”

I didn’t need to ask who “we” was to know the answer.

“Tell me you didn’t let him tuck me into bed.”

Jude’s face remained all wide-eyed innocence. “What was I supposed to do? Do you think I’m a bodybuilder or something? You’re too heavy to carry.”

I stared at her. No way was I going to discuss my weight issues. Yes, my employment situation and tendency to comfort eat had caused me to pile on a few layers of fat, but it was no big deal. Nothing a few extra sessions at the gym couldn’t solve.

“At least I’m still wearing my clothes. That should count for something,” I muttered to myself, then looked up with renewed interest. I paused before asking, “What did I say?”

“Nothing.” Jude shook her head, her expression a blank mask. The high ring in her voice didn’t fool me, though.

“Jude, what did I say?”

She sighed, and in that instant I knew I could never see Chase again, not after the embarrassing performance he must have witnessed the previous night.

The only thing more embarrassing than an embarrassing performance is having too many nasty thoughts about other people in your head and not knowing which one you actually spoke out aloud.

“I’m going out.” I jumped up and grabbed my plate, placing it in the sink on my way out, leaving Jude’s hangover concoction unfinished.

Jude followed me. “Where are you going?”

“I don’t know where I’m going. Just out.”

“Why?”

“Because this is too much. I thought I could deal with this all—with Clint, with—” I choked on the words the past. After a few years away from home, I had thought I’d put enough physical and emotional distance between the past and myself to react in a more detached manner, but last night’s disaster had shown that I was nowhere near detached. Seeing that the present was just as awful, I couldn’t descend back into the abyss that had once been my life.

With a shrug, I ignored Jude’s stare and forced myself to take a few gulps of her self-made smoothie, which didn’t taste as bad as it looked.

“Laurie, you can’t leave. Clint’s coming over in an hour,” Jude said imploringly. “I know the guy’s a pain in the ass, but Shannon called to inquire about you. Apparently, they’re leaving today and want to see you before they head to the airport. It’s just for five minutes.”

“No way.” A sarcastic snort escaped my throat. Even if he took the next plane back home, he’d never be completely gone. But Jude didn’t know. No one did.

“You said you wanted to help,” I said. “Please call them back and tell them it was nice seeing them, but I’m not available. If they persist, tell them I’m busy and I won’t be able to talk for the next week or so. Please. I promise I’ll make it up to you.”