I heard a crash and the sound of muffled swearing out in the hall and I flinched away from my bedroom door handle.
Oh, my God, someone is really in the hotel.
Did I check the back door when locking up? Why didn’t I check the back door?
I scurried over to my bookcase, wishing that I had a letter opener or a javelin or something; damn my lack of interest in pen pals and school sports. My heart lurched in my chest as the light in the hall flicked on, the luminous rays flooding under the crack of my door. I let out a series of shallow breaths as a new fear swept over me. I blindly grabbed at the first solid thing – a heavy, hardback book – and I carried it as a shield towards the door. I lifted the book above my head, but it wasn’t very threatening as my arms violently shook. I heard the footsteps coming up the hall towards my door. I was trapped. I had to think fast – once that door opened I had to do something. I grabbed for my pillow, a moment of new-found power surging through me. I worked quickly to pull the cover off, discarding the pillow and replacing it with my … I tilted my head as the faint strip of light highlighted the title: Macquarie’s Dictionary.
Yeah, I could spare it. I slipped it into the pillowcase, scrunching together the opening and swinging it over my shoulder like Santa would if he were Rambo. I took my place behind the door, slightly comforted by the weight I had at my back.
I wasn’t religious, but in that moment, as the shadow of two strips stood in front of my door and my handle slowly started to turn, I closed my eyes briefly and prayed for help, for some almighty saviour that I would confess all of my sins to if he had my back just this one time. That was right before I unleashed hell.
I grabbed the pillow case and swung with an almighty crack across the back of the dark figure’s skull. He clutched his head and fell over with a pained cry, before I swung again and whacked him directly in the shoulder. He crumpled to the floor with an “Oomph” as I danced around him like Muhammad Ali ready to take another jab. The stranger rolled onto his back and held up his arms protectively.
“Amy, stop! It’s me!”
I froze mid-swing, my eyes adjusting to the flood of light that filtered in from the hall now that my bedroom door was fully open. I could now make out the crumpled figure lying on his back, clutching the back of his skull, his face twisted in pain.
“Ahhh, Amy, what the fuck!” he cried.
I dropped my pillowcase in a thud, my hands covering my mouth in horror.
“Oh, my God,” I knelt down. “I am so, so sorry.” I tentatively reached out, but he flinched away.
“Not as sorry as I am! Jesus!” He let out a series of coughs. “Some bloody welcome party.”
My guilt soon channelled into annoyance as I stood, my hands on my hips. With a deep sigh, I stepped over the fallen body and flicked on my bedroom light.
“Honestly.” I turned to look at the sorry sight. “Adam Henderson, what the hell did you expect sneaking in the back door at four a.m.?”
Adam edged himself towards the wall to lean against the door jamb. “I didn’t want to wake anyone.” He cringed with every movement.
I crossed my arms. “Well, I heard you coming a mile away. You suck at being quiet.”
Adam wiped at his mouth and peered at his hand as if he expected to see blood.
Now he was just being overly dramatic.
“You’re just lucky I don’t own a javelin,” I said.
“I’ll let you know how lucky I feel in the morning.” He pressed his back against the door and closed his eyes as if he was trying to channel the pain.
“Well, in case you hadn’t noticed, it is the morning – just really, really fracking early.”
Adam broke into a smile and momentarily peeked one eye open. “Still replacing your swear words, I see.”
“Shut up!”
“Just say it, Amy, say the word.”
“No.”
“Go on,” he teased.
“No.”
“You know you want to.” He smirked.
Yep, Adam was back. My annoying, unco, over-dramatic cousin was home and who even knew he was coming? I sure as hell didn’t.
He opened his eyes, squinting up at me. “Say it.”
“Adam?”
He looked at me pointedly now. “Yes, Amy?”
“Get the fuck out of my room!”
***
Come morning (the real morning where the sun is up in the sky kind of morning), I walked into the main bar and saw Adam perched there flicking through the pages of … Oh God.
“You know, it’s amazing,” he said.
I cringed at every page he turned of the Macquarie’s Dictionary that lay before him on the counter.
“What’s that?”