All I could hear were my gasped breaths and the beating of my heart echoing in my ears as I sank and surfaced, sank and surfaced again, somehow unable to float anymore. I clawed at the water. I wanted to scream, but my mouth filled again and again with water and I went down deeper. Even as I tried to kick my way free, I was consumed by the darkness of the never-ending stretch of nothing.
My insides burned as I thrashed in a panic against the engulfing blackness. This was it, this was the end, I thought. I realised I was dying and there was nothing I could do about it. It was an unnerving experience, accepting your fate like that – letting go of the fight, sinking farther into the abyss to meet the end. The fear dissipated. I wasn’t scared anymore. My death was so peaceful, so quiet, so very beautiful.
Maybe it was a dream—this wasn’t happening—maybe that surge of water and whoosh of bubbles that filtered next to me was my mind playing tricks. The iron grip that swooped around me and grasped me tightly, the one that pulled me upward with such almighty strength? I must be asleep, I thought. It was a nice dream … until I resurfaced.
“Amy! Amy! Look at me, look at me!”
I double-blinked my eyes to clear my blurry vision. I struggled to fix on the person yelling at me, a voice coming from a face-hovering above. Beautiful blue eyes narrowed in panic and a strong vice-like grip on my shoulders, jolting me to focus.
“Get back, give her room!” he shouted.
Droplets of water dripped onto my face as hands moved and cupped my cheeks.
“Amy, you’re going to be all right,” he spoke softly, gently. “Everything’s going to be all right.”
***
I was drunk and passed out in my knickers, according to Tammy’s retelling of the events the next day. She told me Sean had dived into the water and duck-dived several times before he found me and dragged me to the surface. She said he screamed for someone to call an ambulance as he carried my lifeless body out of the lake. He gave me mouth-to-mouth and worked on pumping my chest until I vomited up half of Lake Onslow into the sand. When she mentioned the mouth-to-mouth detail, I could tell she was secretly pissed that I’d had Sean’s mouth on mine, but it wasn’t like she was going to admit to it.
As for me, I had lain in a ball in my room for three days after, silently wishing I had drowned that night, rather than face the embarrassment of it. My chest was still bruised from where Sean had pushed so hard that he’d nearly cracked a rib. It sure felt like he had.
My parents were furious. I had to be ambulanced to the hospital and, after the initial fear passed, they moved on to rage at me for having snuck out, and then hushed angry whispers outside my room.
I half expected I would be grounded for life, but instead, it seemed as though I was to suffer a fate far, far worse.
I was being sent to an all-girls boarding school in the city.
I wiped away the tears, my throat scratchy from hours of silent sobbing in my room, mixed with swallowing half of Lake Onslow.
As my tears dried, my throat was parched. I listened to the silence downstairs and cautiously crept out of my room, hoping not to bump into anyone. Especially not my traitorous parents. I would just slip downstairs to the kitchen and grab a Coke, and then sneak back upstairs again, no one the wiser.
As I crossed the landing, I stilled at the sound of distant voices that filtered through from the main bar downstairs.
Before I’d even thought about it, I crept down the stairs towards the voices, cutting through the restaurant and pushing myself against the partition. I squinted through the gap in the dividers.
Sean stood in the bar facing a grim-looking Dad.
“Well, I just wanted to make sure she was okay.”
“We appreciate it, Sean. We can’t thank you enough.” My dad shook his hand.
Sean tapped him on the upper arm and offered a reassuring nod.
“No need to thank me, Eric, I’m just relieved Amy’s all right.”
My dad pulled Sean into a hug.
“Thanks, mate!” He tapped Sean hard on the back and pulled back, sniffing. I watched as they both stood there awkwardly for a long moment.
Sean scratched the back of his head.
“No worries.” He offered a small smile.
“How about a beer, son? My shout.” Dad moved behind the bar; the awkwardness gone.
“Yeah, great.” Sean moved to follow Dad but stilled, his eyes flicking towards the partition. I held my breath; I dared not move. Could he see me?
Sean broke into a broad smile and winked. I expelled a shocked breath and ducked from the opening, my heart racing a million miles an hour.
Oh God! Oh God! Don’t tell on me! Please. I waited, half expecting the partition to be wrenched open and I would be plucked from my hiding place in my PJs, caught spying yet again. But when nothing happened and the conversation continued, I slowly moved to peek through the opening again.