An Endless Summer(103)

I dived to the light switch and plunged the bedroom into darkness before running around in a flurry, not sure what my next move should be.

Shit! Shit! Shit!

The basin tap ran and I heard the unmistakable whooshing sound of Sean brushing his teeth. As he tapped his toothbrush on the sink, I dived onto the mattress and ripped the covers back, plunging underneath. My heart drummed so violently I was sure Sean would hear it in the next room.

Pretend you’re asleep, pretend you’re asleep …

I tried to slow my breathing; having darted around the room like a headless chicken hadn’t helped at all. My mind raced when an alarming thought came to me: I was in Sean’s bed, in the dark … What was I thinking?

Just make yourself at home, Amy! Suggestive much?

This was not good. Before I could do anything about it, I heard the sound of the en suite light switch off and the door screech open. It was so hard to control my breaths. I could only concentrate on breathing in and out, in and out. I had my back facing the en suite door. I could make out the sound of Sean’s padded footsteps; it seemed like forever. I waited for the sound of the door unclicking and opening, for him to make his exit down the hall and leave the bed to me in some gentlemanly gesture.

So when I felt the mattress dip next to me, my eyes snapped open. Sean slid underneath the covers and settled gently next to me – his only movement was to align his pillows as he lay down. He exhaled a deep, comfortable sigh of fatigue.

Oh my God, oh my God!

I didn’t dare move. I didn’t so much as breathe.

Oh crap, my nose was itchy. Why was that always the way? I wiggled my nose like Samantha off Bewitched, praying that it would be enough. The bed moved behind me and I froze.

Sean coughed and rolled … away from me?

I felt his breaths change, become deep and soothing, in and out, in and out. My eyes narrowed. I waited for a long moment before I rolled onto my back with a deliberate, loud sigh.

Nothing.

I coughed and adjusted my pillow, and waited. Still nothing. Now I was getting annoyed. I glared at his bare back, a broad landscape lit by the moonlight that filtered through the window. I pulled the blanket up to my chin, allowing my arm to gently rest along the line of his back, skin to skin.

Oh my God, he was shirtless.

My insides twisted – his skin felt hot pressed next to mine. I was wide awake, staring at the ceiling, more infuriated and frustrated than ever with the sound of his soothing breaths. I sighed aloud once again and kicked one leg out of the bed. I was so obviously awake, there could be no doubt.

Sean didn’t move and I contemplated punching him in the back of the head, but instead, after what seemed like hours having passed (okay, maybe minutes), I did something far, far worse.

I sat bolt upright in bed. “You have got to be fucking kidding me!”

That got his attention. Sean turned slightly towards me.

“What?” his tired voice croaked in the dark. I leaned across him and gave little thought to how awkward the actual manoeuvre was. He actually got a face full of my boobs as I reached across him for the touch lamp. In a frantic three taps, the bedroom glowed, causing us both to wince against the light.

“Jesus, Amy!”

I tried to keep my voice from shaking, from seeming like some bunny-boiling psycho, but I couldn’t help myself.

“Are we honestly going to do this? Lie in the dark and pretend that this is just what happens, that me being in your bed is all casual and non-weird, that we’ll both just drift off to sleep?”

Sean rolled onto his back with a groan, rubbing his eyes. “I did drift off to sleep.”

“It might be normal for you, Sean Murphy, to just kiss a girl midday and then act as if it never happened. Then later, lock her in your bedroom and lay next to her with …” My eyes widened. “Oh my God, have you even got clothes on?”

Sean looked at me wearily. Ripping back the covers, he revealed black silk boxers.

“Satisfied?”

My mouth gaped. Looking at his chiselled six-pack lying in front of me, I quickly averted my eyes from his half-naked body.

“No, let me guess.” He pulled himself up onto his elbows. “That’s the thing, isn’t it? You’re not satisfied.”

My eyes snapped up to meet his crooked smirk; he was becoming more awake and alert every second.

“Excuse me?”

“What do you want from me, Amy?”

I blinked, taking in the question, searching for an answer. What was my argument again?

Sean sat up and leaned his elbows on his knees. His eyes burned into me. “Do you want me to fuck you? Is that what you want?”

I gasped, my mouth dropping open. “How dare you speak to me like that!”

Sean smiled, satisfied, as if I had given him the exact reaction he had been hoping for. “Then go to sleep.”